SoapNights.com

When I was younger I felt sometimes as if my world was falling apart. I didn’t know what to do, where to turn. If I went right, I was supposed to go left. I held people in my hearts to the highest power, until they lost my trust. Then I blocked them out of my life, because who needs someone in their lives who is only going to hurt you?

You feel
Sometimes you lie down and you feel as if the world is spinning, almost as if the world will come crashing down on you any second, and when you finally get the courage to open your eyes and look out the window you can truly see the world isn’t spinning anymore. You take a deep breath and start another day with a smile on your face. Not all days were like this, but most of them. Hiding behind a shield, pretending to be someone your not, only to realize you don’t even know who you are anymore. When did you start pretending and when did it get so far that you lost yourself? Questions asked, answers un-answered.

Small bit of hope
Then there comes a time in your life when you finally realize things need to change, you need to change. For the better. I used to think like this. Struggling to find a way out of a hole I put myself in, yet I couldn’t find the way out. But has I got older I started to realize that life comes with it’s ups and downs, and sometimes weather we like it or not we have to sit down and realize that even if we aren’t happy in that moment doesn’t mean we’ll feel like this forever. A small bit of hope entered my heart, and this is what kept me going….

Never give up
Strive for what you want don’t let it go, no matter how many tears, no matter how much anger or burdened feelings you have inside, get up and fight for what you want. Because if life as taught me anything in the 26 years of living, it’s taught me to be strong, to live life in the moments that sometimes just seem to pass you by. When you finally realize how not to take things so personal you also start to realize the world isn’t so bad.

Things do get better
As you grow older you start to see the world in a different light. You start to notice that not all flowers bloom in the spring. Thinking positive and believing in what you want is what makes you stronger. Look at the small moments in your life that made you laugh, or smile. Aren’t those the moments you always remember. People take life for granted, they don’t realize that the smallest moments in your lives sometimes are the greatest moments you will ever experience. I remember when I was about 7 or 8 years old and I was hanging out with my grandmother that day (on my dad’s side). She told me she had a surprise for me. My surprise: Taco Bell. I was ecstatic, taco bell, my favorite, when I was little. Small moment = Great moment. We spent the entire day together, eating at Taco Bell, Playing board games and watching The Price Is Right! Again small moment = GREAT MOMENT! I have had many small moments in my life that made me smile. For my birthday I went with my boyfriend to Key Biscayne and with our new camera, we spent the day taking pictures. Some may think this was a small moment, but to me it was a GREAT Moment. I had so much fun, just relaxing and taking pictures. It was almost as if I was somewhere else just for a few hours.

Whats my point
Whats my point? One point in my life I felt as if the walls were closing in on me. I had locked myself in a box with no way out. Then I grew up, I realized that there is more out there in the world. There is so much more to see and feel. Even though life is hard and we remember the pain that we go through, you have to sit back and remember all the good times you have had too. Life is too short to only remember the bad. Close your eyes and picture a time you felt really happy. Wasn’t that a great moment in your life?

Small Moments = GREAT MOMENTS!!!!!

XO,
Kristin Nicole

I have a friend who continues to contemplate weather or not to break up with her boyfriend. I can’t stop to think, what is she thinking? But who is ever thinking anything when they believe things can work? When you do love this person, but sometimes can’t distinguish at the time weather it’s love (for a friend) or I’m in love (you are my soul mate).

She has tried to open up to him and change some of her flaws, (we all have them), but it never seems to be enough. I think in any relationship you try to change the things the other person may not like. I don’t mean to change your whole persona, you are who you are, and the person you are with should love you for you. When I say change, I MEAN like you don’t normally throw your laundry in the basket you throw it on the floor, and the person you are with dislikes this, you can change. Just throw it in the basket from now on. Small changes make a world of a difference.

I can truly say I know both people. I know her boyfriend and I used to hang out with him a lot while they were in there long distance portion of the relationship. He has a lot of issues with his past and his family and trust is a factor he doesn’t carry very often. He can’t take responsibility for things he may have fault in and everything always seems to be her fault. Is that right? To always blame the other person? To never see your own fault? How much easier it is to blame the other person, so that if things end…”It wasn’t me. I tried my best, she/he left me. Poor Me”.

Don’t cry about it, see what you are doing wrong yourself. Don’t you want to try and work it out with this person you say you “LOVE”? Then when the other person in this case, (the girl) tries to tell you how she feels, tries to reach out, you (in this case the guy), tries to turn things around as if it was all her fault. And poor little boy who cries in the corner gets dumped by his girlfriend. GIVE ME A BREAK! Grow up, be a man, stand up for what you really want. And if it’s not her, just tell her, but don’t play games and make yourself look like the victim. Don’t pretend as if she is to blame for the entire relationship falling apart. (Now I’m not to say it’s always the guy, there are situations where the girl acts this way).

He told her he might move away for school, but he wasn’t sure, and this was decided before they became a couple. But don’t you think that now that they are a couple he should talk to her about this? He is moving to other side of the country, I’m not talking a few hours away. I’m talking plane ride, couple days in a car distance. This isn’t something you just do when you are with someone you say you love. Am I right, or am I thinking selfishly here? I don’t think you should stop your future plans especially if it’s for school, but it would be nice to have an adult discussion as to what may happen with “us” if you move away.

I just hope that she truly chooses what is best for her, that she can see she deserves better. That anyone in that position guy or girl deserves better. And if you aren’t happy, get out, move on. There is someone out there for everyone, there as to be. I can not believe other wise. Because when I lost love more than once, I thought this is it, I’m going to be alone and never find anyone. Then god showed me that you just have to learn from your mistakes, or the mistakes of others and when you least expect it you find that person who is for you.

This saying is small but cute – “If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go”. ~Anonymous

Relationships aren’t easy, but if you truly love the person you are with, you always try to make it work.

If you have your own relationship stories, or questions please email me Soapnights@gmail.com. Don’t be shy, I’ll only tell you what I think, you can take it from there… =)

XO,
Kristin Nicole

Sometimes there comes a time when you argue w/ your other half. And sometimes you get so angry you can’t express your feelings. In my case I try to talk sometimes but if I get too frustrated I close myself off because I can’t even speak anymore. Other times I try to say what I am thinking but I get scared so I just stop and don’t say anything.

Why do we do this? Why is it so hard for us women and men to say what we feel? Are we afraid of what the other person might say? SOMETIMES, For me that is the case. I’m afraid to get into a bigger argument when I just want them to understand what I am feeling. But that doesn’t always work.

So I find it easier to express myself sometimes through email or letters or text. I know this shouldn’t be the solution but sometimes it’s the only way to get what I feel out in the open. It’s better to get it out one way than not at all. Right?!?

In my letter I try to really go into what I feel and take out all concerns but even in my letter sometimes I re-read it over to make sure I am not crossing the line or something. It is never my intention to hurt anyone with my words only for them to understand what I am feeling.

I found a website that talks about relationships and communication. And I truly believe that communication is the KEY to a healthy and long relationship. You can’t hold things inside because in the end you will only blow up, and that isn’t good for either one of you. This website tries to help MEN communicate better. Try it for you men who may have problems communicating with your girlfriend/wife/sister/mother etc. Click HERE.

Now even though this website indicates how to communicate more for men towards women, I think it’s good for women to read as well. Some of us women might be a little more like men then we think. Open up to your other half and tell them how you feel, but don’t attack them with these things just tell them that you only want them to know how you are feeling and what can “we” do to fix it.

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. ~Henry Winkler.

XO,
Kristin Nicole

Do you ever wonder if men PMS like women do? They just don’t get the actual period like we do. Am I right or am I right?

I think we all know that sometimes the roles are reversed. Sometimes I make a comment to my boyfriend and to his interpretation he goes off on me. He doesn’t see it of course. Now, had it been the other way around he would have gotten all upset that I was giving him attitude! That’s what we do when we PMS, right?? (sarcasm) So what does this say about our fellow species?

Are they likely to PMS just not get their actual period? I believe this to be true. How lovely it is to be a man. I think it my next life I want to be a man. You don’t get all the symptoms that a women gets, you get to pee standing up and if it’s hot you can take off your shirt without people staring at you. (Well that depends).

How many women out there have boyfriends/husbands that PMS around the same time they do? Or maybe a week before or after us? I swear my boyfriend PMS’s around the same time I do and if it happens to be before me, I always tell him it isn’t time to PMS, we don’t get our period till much later.

No matter what our emotions are though, we are all allowed to have a bad day, and at the end of the day when I go to lye down in bed, I look over to the side and I know that no matter how much a man may PMS, So do we! And at the end of the day I know I love him no matter what!

Now if only men thought this way.

I found this quote and thought it was funny.

~“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” ~Oscar Wilde

XO,
Kristin Nicole

Believe it or not, I found a website that study shows men also suffer from PMS Link to the Source: Here.

This article is fairly old, my boyfriend sent me this website a while ago, talking about a women who finds out her boyfriend watches porn on his computer. She gets upset at first and has questions as to why he has porn in his computer. Can it be that he’s not happy with their sex life? These questions often come to mind for women, because we don’t understand why men like it so much and why they sometimes feel like they need it.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m sure a lot of women out there think this way also. Are you ready for this???
I always just assumed that all men have at least seen one porn in there lives. Don’t be shocked ladies, of course they have, and if they tell you otherwise they have to be lieing! Even if you don’t think your boyfriend does this, wouldn’t you assume that he at least has seen one in the past? We has women I think stay in denial that our guys like to watch this kind of stuff. Just like some women say, that their boyfriends never look at other girls in the street. Of course they do! Don’t act shocked, it’s nature. If you see a hot guy, wouldn’t you at least glance at him? It’s normal, now of course we don’t want them to be drooling over another girl when we are right next to them, there’s a limit MEN!

On another Note
I can understand a women getting self conscious or jealous of your boyfriend/husband watching porn. Because why do they need to watch other women going at it, when you are there when they need you to be? I’m not a man, but I can just imagine that it doesn’t have anything to do with you. Sex to men is just that, SEX. And watching someone else doing it on TV just turns them on in a different level, with no emotions attached. This doesn’t mean that they don’t love you.

Have you as a women watched porn before? Maybe you should try it. Maybe you would surprisingly like it. Never say Never ladies. This might be another way to spice up your sex life. Not every man likes this though, most men I have spoken to rather watch porn alone. It’s more of a case of (My girlfriend/wife isn’t home and I’m horny, why not?!) situation. But some couples do like to watch it together.

Remember men will be men
Don’t get angry if you do find that your boyfriend/husband watches porn, maybe if they felt you were more open about it they wouldn’t hide it from you. Remember ladies, men will be men!

Let me know what you think about this? Do men prefer there girlfriends/wife to watch porn with them? Or by themselves? As a women would you be willing to try watching porn with your boyfriend/Husband?

~ “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.” -Anonymous

XO,
Kristin Nicole

If you want to read what she has to say Click HERE.

Quick post:

This 14 year old girl went missing recently. Please help if you know anything by calling the Escondido Police Department (Detective Estrada, 760 839-4758) Thank you. Below is a description.

* Ht: 5’5″
* Wt: 130
* Short medium brown hair – bright blue eyes.
* Date of Birth 10/25/1994
* Last seen wearing black pants, black hoodie and black sneakers
* Last seen 7:10am Feb. 13, 2009 on North Broadway in Escondido, CA – walking toward Escondido HS (believed to have been on west side of street)

Please see her picture below:

AMBER LEEANNE DUBOIS - Missing Please call if you see or hear any information to the number above.

If you want to read more Please click HERE.

God bless the family, my prayers are with them for her safe return.

XO,
Kristin Nicole

I was looking on line and found a website that gives you information about all the types of Cancers there is. You can Click HERE to find out more.

It is very sad when someone you know passes away from Cancer. I personally haven’t been super close to someone who has passed away from Cancer. But I did have a cousin that I met a few years prior to her being diagnosed with Cancer. I remember seeing her in the hospital room as she withered away. Her hair was gone and where you once saw a plump face, was now a skinny pale face with hardly any life left inside.

She started getting better and with hope and prayers we thought she would get her life back. But shortly after going home from the hospital she was back where she started and worse. I was in California when this happened, but her body finally gave out and she passed away.

It’s a terrible thing to loose someone you love through an illness. Especially something like Cancer. Many cancer’s have no cure once it has spread through out your body. If you want to learn more about Cancer click on the Link above, where it says Click “HERE”.

If you want to also find out about volunteering and helping patients with Cancer Click HERE.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~ Anonymous

XO,
Kristin Nicole

Taking things for Granted
There are things in life that people always take for granted. I believe that the human mind sometimes can’t help but take things for granted. We take our Parents for granted, our spouse or significant other and we take our Family and Friends for granted. Do you really stop to think and thank the people in your lives each day? Do you really stop to ”smell the flowers”? We take life in general for granted. We probably don’t even thank god each night for being blessed with the things we do have in our lives, because I always believe that things in life can be worse, that there is someone out there worse off than you. I hear people complain all the time about how they don’t have money to go out, shop to do things they want. (I’ve been one of those people) People don’t realize that sometimes those things aren’t what makes a person happy. I am the one person to believe that it helps, every one loves to have material things, to go out and have fun. But did you ever stop to think that even people with money have problems? Sometimes they have so much money but no family to love and have support from.

I rather have my family and my boyfriend in my life over all the money in the world, because with out them how can I enjoy basking in the joy of money, who will I go to dinner with or on Vacation with all this money if I have no one to share it with. If I have no one to share it with what will be the purpose of having all that money? And who’s to say that you can’t live life with out having a lot of money? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have food each day? Do you have a family to go to if you were in trouble? I say that if you have any of those things you are pretty well off, because there are people in the street with no where to go, no family and no food. So be thankful that you have a job to hold your own, that you have a bed to go to and food to feed you.

Taking your parents for granted
Back to taking your Parents for granted…. Do you really see the sacrifices they make for us? How much love they give to us, they taught us things to make us into the person we’ve become today. Even if you don’t get along with your Mom or Dad they still brought you into this world and they still love you unconditionally because that’s what parents do. They stop to give you the world if they knew that’s what you wanted before getting hurt. Some people don’t have family. Some people aren’t as lucky to even have a family as I described above. Some people aren’t meant to be parents, and the children are the ones that suffer.

Friends
If you have just one friend cherish your friendship and don’t let stupid things get in the way of it. I have lost many friendships, some over little pettish things that happen in everyday life, things you think are huge at a certain age or time. Looking back, some of these friends I wish I still had in my life.

Relationships
I think we take our spouse or significant other for granted as well. Do you really see all the things they do for you because they care? Even if it’s the smallest things (like a note in your bag when you go to work saying they love you). Do you know how so many people wish they had/have that in their relationship. Cherish the moments, cherish the laughs, cherish the people who are in your life and who love you, because with out them who are you? You become the person you are through the tribulations and hardships that you have gone through, you are the person you are because of the people that have walked into your life, even if for a second, that person might have told you something to change the way you think, maybe even act. From the time you were born to the day you die someone and something will change the way you look at life. It’s part of life, it’s a journey you take to become the person you are, the person you want to be.

Don’t take for granted the little we have left with the people we have. If your reading this and I know you, remember that I will always love you, care for you and be here for you, even if I don’t say it all the time.

~“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” – Ashley Smith

XO,
Kristin Nicole

Today I have decided to open up to you. Talk a little about how I have felt in the past. I think everyone goes through hard times in their lives, some of us keep it inside for ever and some of us talk about it.

Life sometimes hits you unexpectedly. There was a time in my life when I thought nothing can harm you, nothing can hurt as bad as a small cut on your knee. Then tragedy struck home. The first of many people I loved passed away. My grandmother (on my fathers side).A great day filled with sun and laughter, church, food, and then she was gone. With a single breath she was gone.

Tragedy hits Home…
How does a child comprehend such tragedy. As if that single tear that washed over my eyes would make the pain go away. For the first time in my life I think I saw my father shed a tear. Hidden behind his sunglasses, I know there was a tear. I walked into the cold room, my choice. My mother told me I didn’t have to go, but even at such a young age I knew I had to see it for myself. I had to know that they weren’t lying to me, because in every image, every thought possible, I couldn’t imagine why something so sad would happen to our family. Why would God take away someone you love. I didn’t understand, I couldn’t and I wouldn’t.

The room was cold….it felt like so many people were there yet the only person I can see was her. Lying there helpless, and when I finally had the courage to go up and see her, I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t feel. It was has if from that moment my life changed but I had no idea how much. I couldn’t even speak, the tears were so hard that I couldn’t stop. I remember leaving home with a friend that night, not wanting to turn back, not wanting to face what was truly there. I remember leaving to go play, like a child plays, with no worries, no sadness, where death didn’t exist in a world that you live in.

The memories.
I can’t remember if I went to the burial the next day, I must have blocked it from my mind. I remember going to the cemetery when I was younger with my mom and brother, we would say a prayer by the grave and I would lay one single flower next to her name. I don’t know why I did that, I guess I felt in a sense it was my way of giving it to her only from me.

Not long after that I remember my Uncle my God Father no longer being in my life. He had some issues with my father and for some reason never understood, he stopped talking to all of us. I tried calling him a few times to say Happy Birthday, to wish him a Merry Christmas. But I only got the answering machine and I never got a card, or a phone call. I thought I had done something wrong, something for him to stop loving me. He came back into our lives a few years ago but I didn’t know who this man was, just that he was called my Uncle because he was related to my dad, but when I looked at him, he was nothing but a stranger. A guy that I once knew and now see maybe once a year. Is that family? A guy you see once a year? This person you barely talk to or know?

Learning how to keep moving forward.
I emailed him a letter once, telling him how I felt, telling him how his issues with my father had nothing to do with the rest of the family and I would never do that to my family. I think he never got it because his computer crashed, some excuse like that. About 3 1/2 years ago I tried again, but less harsh, explaining how I understood that it wasn’t my fault that he stopped talking to me, how him being gay and never talking to us about it wasn’t a factor because he was family. I told him I wanted to get to know him. I didn’t know what this would change. All the hate I had inside me, for resenting him, for leaving me…I guess I just wanted a bit of hope that he did want to be in my life. That we could have a relationship one day and I can meet his friends and hang out with him when he came down to visit. But days and months passed and I never got word on if he got my letter, if he read it, if he cared. He would tell my mom that he would talk to me when he came down to visit, I’m still waiting, but I’ll have to stop waiting because June 27th 2007 at the age of 57 my Uncle died.

He’s okay now, he’s not hurting, he can breath. But what about the rest of us? Left with all the questions that were never answered. My father hiding behind his anger like a child, he can’t even get along with his sister, which is another story in its self. You think this would teach you to love those around you, life is too short, live in the moment not in the past. But some people push others away, maybe if you try not love them as much it won’t hurt as much when they leave? Not true. Now not only do you miss the person but you have regret on all the things you wished you said, had done. And now it’s too late, there gone forever.

Moving forward.
This is why I truly believe in telling the person you love how you feel. Tomorrow we can live another day, go on to see the next day and the day after that. But if for one second you come to notice that tomorrow doesn’t exist for you, then what? Have you done all the things you wanted to do up until now, have you lived a life of happiness? Can any one of us ever say we have done everything we wanted to do up until now? I know I can’t. There is so much that I want to do, so much that I’m looking forward to. But am I happy where my life is today? Yes I am. Do I have regrets, I do. Do I dwell on those regrets? No I don’t. Like I said Life is too short. Why am I going to regret something that I can’t change? In the past I held on to so much anger and resentment that it ate away at who I was. I didn’t know who I was anymore and that scared me. I started realizing that I couldn’t hold onto the hate that was inside of me. I don’t know if I have ever truly let go of all the things in the past, but I do know that I have learned from them. This is what made me into the person I am today.

This is me, writer, friend, daughter, sister, girlfriend, I am me!

XO,
Kristin Nicole

So many things in our world are happening today. So many things that none of us can control. Last night before 2 a.m Heath Miller and his wife, Mirelle, were victims of the violent crimes going on in there neighborhood. A masked gunman by the name of Rishard Tomlin, 22, broke into their home. Miller says his dogs woke him up, luckily he was able to grab his gun because shortly after the dogs were barking he heard gun fire in his house, he shot back and hit Tomlin. Tomlin was killed.

The Miller’s were even talking about moving soon, because of the high crime in their neighborhood. Neighbors even stated that they don’t know why something like this would happen to the Miller family. They are nice, and quiet, they are only seen when walking their dogs. Heath Miller is a music teacher at Howell L. Watkins Middle School in Palm Beach Gardens.

Miller’s mom spoke for him, stating that he is upset about the situation. She states though, that he had to do what he had to do.

I agree with her too. If someone is coming into your home, shooting at you in the middle of the night, what are you supposed to do. Sit back and get shot yourself, let them harm your family? It is sad, the problems that you read or see everyday. Family of Tomlin states he never did anything like this before, yet he had a police record. I am sure Tomlin’s family is suffering from the loss, but I am glad that Miller stood up, that he fought back for his life and the life of his wife. Otherwise, it could have been him or his wife in the body bag.

I hope that this renders into the young children’s lives who knew Tomlin and said that he was a good man. I hope they see, that if they do bad like Tomlin did, it can cost them their life. I don’t understand why people turn, why people do the things they do, I do know however that they are only hurting themselves and the ones that love them.

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. ~Robert Byrne

XO,
Kristin Nicole

If you want to read more about this story click Here.