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I find questions about relationships everywhere, Answers.Yahoo.com, Help.com and more. I find these questions interesting, some I’ve been through myself, some I’ve given advice to friends about, if you have similar questions or know someone who needs advice please send them my way, and I will give them the up most honest opionion anyone can have.

The Question:

Me and his ex both know each other, and she used to have jealousy towards me and really didn’t like me at first. Now she’s OK with me, so I think. We don’t talk at all, but she still talks to my boyfriend. I told him I don’t have a problem with them talking as long as she respects our relationship. We’ve been together for almost two years, and a couple times in the past he told me that she said dirty, sexual things to him. I asked him why he still talks to her and why would she say stuff like that? And he says, oh I don’t know, she also got mad at him b/c she thought we broke up. So obviously she’s not respecting our relationship..but why would she think that we were broken up? I feel like he keeps telling her that we’re not really together just so he can stay talking to her. He never lets me see his phone, he never wants his ex to see us together, and it’s like he’s scared to stop talking to her. I don’t really think he’s cheating on me, but I think he’s lying to me about a few things, and it’s my fault for letting it happen as much as it has. He’s with me way too often to be cheating on me with her, and I have seen a couple of texts from her, just not all of them. Can I have some advice on what i should do and what your opinion is?

My response:

Dear real advice,

First off let me ask why the ex girlfriend had to like you, and why there was a problem with you? Of course she didn’t like you, you were the new girlfriend in her EX boyfriends life, you are the one that shouldn’t have liked her and had the problem with her; NOT the other way around. Second, why is your boyfriend still friends with his Ex? He doesn’t want his Ex to see you two together? And the Ex thought you were broken up? Where did she get this information from, if not from him, if he isn’t cheating on you and there is nothing to hide, why is he hiding you from his Ex? These are the questions you need to ask yourself. If he respects you and knows how you feel about it then he shouldn’t be friends with her. I don’t care how the relationship ended, it ended for a reason and there is no reason to stay friends with an ex. Staying friends with an Ex only causes problems in the current relationship. If your boyfriend is being honest with you about the text messages that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s not cheating on you, it doesn’t mean he is either, but why does he continue talking to her if he knows she is sending him these messages? The Ex Girlfriend is not going to respect you and that really isn’t something she needs to you, (she obviously doesn’t care by sending your boyfriend these text messages) you need talk to your boyfriend, have respect for yourself because right now your boyfriend isn’t having respect for you.; continuing to talk to an Ex knowing it bothers you and continuing to receive these text messages is wrong on all levels. Tell him how you feel and tell him that you do not want him talking to his Ex anymore, if he respects you and really loves you and wants your relationship to work, he will stop talking to his Ex girlfriend. If he doesn’t, then you need to re-evaluate your relationship and ask yourself if you really want to be in a relationship where your boyfriend doesn’t take into consideration what you feel?

Hope this helps….

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on a site called Help.com and I found it interesting to give my advice.

The story:

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and for the first time I got into a fight with his mom. My boyfriend and I were arguing. I was on my cell and he was on his mom’s cell. We got into a fight and were hanging up on each other. Then I went to call him back on her phone and she answered ******* me out and hung up on me. this happened about 3 weeks ago. his mom and i have not spoken to each other since. I go over to his parents house (he lives there) and she wont even be in the same room as me or say anything to me. When i call on the house phone she never answers she hands the phone to someone else to answer. I can no stand this anymore. I think she is being very childish for being a 40 year old mother. I don’t feel that I did anything wrong because I never said anything to her or ******* her out or hung up the phone on her. I also do not feel that I should apologize, or be the one to start a conversation with her. I am not saying that she needs to apologize but I think she needs to be the one to take me aside and settle this. I am so frustrated with this situation and it is tearing me and my boyfriends apart. I try and talk to him about it but he just gets mad because he does not want to deal with this problem because it is between his mom and me.

My response:

Dear not speaking,

I know that the situation is between you and your boyfriends mother, but being the girlfriend, I don’t think it’s wrong of your boyfriend to interfere and talk to his mom. I think you should talk to your boyfriend and tell him that it hurts that his mom isn’t talking to you, (If he starts to get upset tell him you just want him to hear you out), I see no reason as to why he can’t just tell his mom to stop acting the way she is. Unfortunately , we think differently then men, and he may feel that he’s getting in between the two of you and he doesn’t want to choose sides. What they don’t understand is that there really isn’t a side to choose, you just don’t want his mom to be upset with you, and you just want to go back to the way things were. Your boyfriend should just ask her why she is not talking to you, and try to mend things, he shouldn’t want that awkwardness to interfere in his relationship. If he doesn’t want to get in the middle of it, he kind of already is because he was using his mom’s phone the day you were arguing and he didn’t have the audacity to at least step outside while talking to you, he was obviously having the argument with you in front of his mom. His mom must have heard something she didn’t like and took offense. I don’t agree with this tactic and I do think his mom is being childish for not talking to you, your fight with her son had nothing to do with her. However, if you don’t want to have this awkward silent talk between the two of you every time you call or go over then it seems you are going to have to be the bigger person here and break the ice. Go up to her and just tell her that you aren’t sure why she is upset with you but that you apologize for anything she might have taken offense to. (I know what you are thinking…why should you apologize for something you didn’t do)? Well if you want to just fix things we sometimes have to just be that bigger person, let the other person hear what they want to hear, even if we know we shouldn’t be the one apologizing. If you choose the keep ignoring her route, things may blow over and she may soon come to her senses and just start talking to you again, but do you really want to just keep waiting and feel uncomfortable every time you are at your boyfriends house? Be the bigger person in this situation and just confront her, if you don’t want to apologize just straight out ask her what is bothering her, and explain to her that you don’t like this awkwardness there is between the two of you. That should break the ice, and go from there.

Good luck…

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question goggling away online and trying to come up with something to blog about…I thought it was interesting because I know this has happened to many girls and I know it’s happened to me before too. Take a look…

The Question:

I have a problem with my boyfriend. He tells me that he is going to call me and then he doesn’t. In a text I told him ‘thanks for calling’ in a sarcastic way. I know he understood what I was trying to say he just ignored it and said I love you. He made me so mad and upset. I want to get back at him and show him how it feels when somebody says they’ll do something and don’t end up doing it. How do I get back at him without being as mean?

My response:

Dear sarcastic,

I know it’s hard to understand this because we aren’t men, and we don’t think like them. When we say we will call you back, or that we’ll call you later, it’s more likely we do then we don’t. Unfortunately men don’t see this as a concern, they don’t comprehend that when they tell us they’ll call us back, we expect just that. We don’t expect a telephone marathon, we just expect for you to call us back, even if it’s just for 2 minutes. I have done the being ‘sarcastic’ bit before (especially in a text) problem with this is, they usually just ignore us, because they don’t see anything wrong with what they are doing. My advice, don’t try to get back at him, he just won’t understand what you are doing or he just won’t care. Men aren’t like us, and they don’t care about the little things. Trying to get back at him isn’t going to solve the problem of him not calling you back. Be straight forward with him, and to his face, not on the phone or through a text or email, straight to his face tell him that it truly bothers you when he says he’s going to call and he doesn’t. Tell him that you need for him to try if he wants things to work. I know it’s hard sometimes to confront and as a women we think of all the negative stuff the man might say, but just think positive and if he really cares or loves you, he’ll call you back next time.

xo,
kristin nicole

Go back…

Don’t you wish sometimes you can just go back in life to the time when things just didn’t matter, where the only thing that mattered was playing outside, liking a boy or a girl, what was for dinner?!? Those days were the best, we just didn’t know it at the time. But now as adults we look back and we wish we were our nephews, nieces, sons, daughters age when nothing in the world mattered, when you didn’t have a worry in your little world.

All grown up

Now we are all grown up, we have problems left and right. Worries all over, issues, concerns, and well you get my drift. It’s just not the same, and sometimes don’t you just wish you can go back in time. Be that little kid with no worries, just be free?!? Growing up has it’s advantages, we can leave where ever we want to, work where we want, do what we want, eat when we want, well you can pretty much do anything you want, but you have responsibilities, things that need to be payed, things that need to get done. Life isn’t easy, it’s actually very hard, but we have good times, and those are the moments we have to hold on to, those are the moments we need to keep having and make memories from. Live. Love. Laugh. The three essentials for living.

How???

How do we make the best of a crappy situation? How do we turn a frown upside down? Some things are easier said then done. Lately I myself feel a bit lost, struggling with school, and trying to find that right part in life that you just know this is it! This is where I am supposed to be. Do you ever feel that? I can’t say that you do, because I haven’t quiet got there yet, but I’m trying. I’m trying to find that space in me that just knows this is where I belong, this is right, this is me.

Have you ever felt confused, lost, misguided? I think we all have in life. Share your stories with me I would love to hear them.

xo,
kristin nicole

I heard this song recently, and I thought it was a really good song, with really sad lyrics. My interpretation of the song is that it’s telling two stories. The first one is a mom talking to her son and the second one is a mother and father talking to their daughter and the daughter talking back. It’s a good song, you should check it out, I added this video, it only shows the lyrics, the other one I found didn’t have a link to put on the site, and I couldn’t find an official video. If anyone can find one that I can post, PLEASE let me know.

Angles Hands – Lyrics

She said I’ve been up all night and half-scared to death
I can smell the liquor on your breath
I paid for your rehab with my ira
boy your daddy’s be turning in his grave
she said son I’ve done all mama can do
I can save myself but I can’t save you

he said I wished you and Jesus would get off my back
they said his truck was doing 90 when he crashed
I bet it gets so quiet in heaven sometimes
even god cries when an angels hands are tied

they said honey grown-ups do this all the time
and tears welled up in their little girls eyes
they said now it’s not something that you’ve done
it just that mommy and daddy don’t get along

she said do you guys mean that you need a time out
and that daddy’s gonna move to a different house
they said you’ll have two bedrooms you’re a lucky kid
she said what about checkers, where’s he gonna live
I bet it gets so quiet in heaven sometimes
even god cries when an angels hands are tied

she prays, angels watch me through the night
stay by my side till morning light
god bless mama, god bless daddy
keep us together and happy
I bet it gets so quiet in heaven sometimes
even god cries when an angels hands are tied

~Great song, hope you enjoyed it.

If you have a favorite song you want to talk about please let me know, so that I can check it out.

xo,
kristin nicole

Did you ever stop and think of me
Or did you just pretend I never existed?
Closed that door
made a lie about how you never loved me anymore
Left me standing there with my heart on my sleeve
wondering what I did wrong
Wondering how I can fix something that didn’t exist.

I wrote you a letter
you never wrote back
later i found out you held it in your sack.
Why didn’t you say anything to me
why did you hide who you were
don’t you know i would have loved you anyway

Standing there all alone
I cried
Wondering why you couldn’t love me
And with tears in my eyes I pulled out that paper and pen
started to write all the things you didn’t want to feel
But I told you the truth
and the truth always hurts
look in the mirror and see who you are
stop hiding
I’m right here.

No words can express the pain you caused me
I think that’s when I started shutting people out
I started to hide behind a wall
because behind the wall no one can see
all the pain you truly caused me.

I pulled out that paper and pen
started to write all the things you didn’t want to hear
But I told you the truth
and the truth always hurts
look in the mirror and see who you are
stop hiding
I’m right here.

Now it’s too late
you’re already gone
Why couldn’t you see the truth
that no matter who you were
I would always love you.
Why couldn’t you stop hiding?
I was right here…

written by: kristin nicole – February 19, 2010 – Friday

~ This was written about someone that used to be in my life. They passed away without ever being able to talk things out. Life is too short, when you feel something let the person you love know because you never know when they’ll be gone. If I haven’t said it enough, I love you!~

xo,
kristin nicole

The story:

A man by the name of Pablo Guzman, 34 is a suspect in a shooting that happened outside the Mia Biscayne Lounge on February 4th at 4:30 am. He shot multiple shots at another man (Nelson Puentes) over an argument. Police say Guzman fired “multiple” times, Nelson Puentes was later taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital where he is recovering. A police officer who was working at the restaurant fired at Guzman, but Guzman got away in a black four door Mercedes Benz. On February 11th U.S Immigration and Customs Enforcement special agents found Guzman getting off a flight from Cancún, Mexico. The next day ICE special agents with the help of the U.S Immigration and Border Protection took him from Panama back to the United States to face Attempted Murder charges.

My thoughts:

I’m happy they found this guy, especially since he had already left the country. I can’t say I’m shocked a shooting happened so close to home, I’ve been hearing and reading about stuff like this so much that it’s sad to say, it just doesn’t faze me as much anymore. It’s still a scary thought, I’ve been to MIA, and it’s a great lounge, and to think that you could be only a few feet away from a shooting is a scary thought. Thankfully no one else got hurt while he was firing shots. We at least now know he’s been caught, and hopefully, he’ll go to jail for a very long time.

If you want to read the full story go to Miamiherald.com

xo,
kristin nicole

Have you been watching American Idol lately? Well normally I don’t watch it much anymore, truly after the first American Idol they had a few people that won that I just didn’t agree on, and I think I was right, because where are they now? The only other true singer besides Kelly Clarkson was Carrie Underwood, where well…no one! There were some good singers but just not great singers, and I feel it’s more about popular votes instead of who truly has the best voice.

This year however, I’ve caught a few episodes but mostly because I wanted to see Ellen as a judge. I just love her and I just knew she would bring a comical presence to American Idol, something I think they have been lacking. I honestly don’t miss Paula Abdul. Don’t get me wrong, I like her, but she just isn’t someone you miss on the show. I can’t say the same for Simon when he leaves next season. I don’t know what American Idol is going to do…but that’s another subject. Lets get to the top 24 semifinalists….

Semifinalists:

Tim Urban, 20, Andrew Garcia, 24, Moreno Valley, Calif.; Tyler Grady, 20, Nazareth, Pa.; Alex Lambert, 19, North Richland Hills, Texas; Joe Munoz, 20, Huntington Park, Calif.; John Park, 21, Evanston, Ill.; and Jermaine Sellers, 27, Joliet, Ill.

Janell Wheeler, 24, Tampa Florida, Crystal Bowersox, 24, Toledo, Ohio; Lacey Brown, 24, Amarillo, Texas; Michelle Delamor, 22, Miami; Siobhan Magnus, 20, Marstons Mills, Mass.; Paige Miles, 24, Houston, Texas; Ashley Rodriguez, 22, Chelsea, Mass.; Lilly Scott, 20, Denver; Katie Stevens, 17, Middlebury, Conn.; and Haeley Vaughn, 16, Fort Collins, Colo., Didi Benami, 23, Los Angeles; Lee Dewyze, 23, Mount Prospect, Ill.; Katelyn Epperly, 19, West Des Moines, Iowa; Aaron Kelly, 16, Sonestown, Pa.; Casey James, 27, Fort Worth, Texas; Todrick Hall, 24, Arlington, Texas and Michael “Big Mike” Lynche, 26, Astoria, N.Y.

Congratulations, and I hope that there is a true star within these 24 semifinalists.

If you want to read the article on the 24 semifinalists you can go to Yahoo.com

xo,
kristin nicole

Online Classes:

You take online classes, or at least I do because it’s easier for us folks who have to work Full Time Jobs. Online classes you can log on when you can, you do have a little more reading to do and probably a few more writing assignments but you have a due date, and you can log on and do your work at your own pace vs going to a campus, having to wait for class to start, going to night classes because you work full time and then coming home late only to eat and go to sleep and start your day over again. Online classes helps me organize my time, it allows me to have time to spend with family and friends, it allows me time to work out during the week, and if I have something to do that day, I don’t have to worry that I’ll be missing class.

Proctored Testing:

Some online classes require you take a Mid-term or a Final exam on campus. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m taking online classes because I don’t have time to go to the campus to take classes, so now you are telling me I have to go take a test on campus? Okay fine, I guess I have no choice right?!? So, I call the campus to find out how I set up a Proctored test since this is the first semester that I have two classes that require these tests and I find out that the proctored tests don’t need to be set up, you just walk in. Great, that seems easy enough. Wait?!? I’m not done…. Proctored testings are Monday through Thursday from 8:30am – 4pm and Friday’s from 8:30am – 1pm. Do you see where I’m going with this? I WORK FULL TIME! Did they not get the point of most people taking online classes? So now I have to either take a day off or take time off from my day to go take a test. WONDERFUL!?!

My thoughts:

Well I think you pretty much got my point here right? I’m not happy! My final exams, I have two classes that I’ll have to go to campus for, so do I take both of them on the same day, so that I don’t have to ask to leave early more then once in one week? Now I’ll have to make up my time at work so that I can make this happen. Boy what a mission! Can school be any more difficult?

Sincerely yours,
Frustrated!

xo,
kristin nicole

Did you see the new remake for ‘We Are The World’? I don’t know what to think about it. I heard Jay-Z say he didn’t like it, I can’t say the same. I don’t think it’s horrible, but of course it’s no original. Check it out:

My thoughts:

I thought it was good, I think we see the new singers of today’s generation mixed with a few from the past and I think it’s wonderful for them to come together and try to re-do this song after 25 years and dedicate it to Haiti’s disaster. I love the fact they kept Micheal Jackson in the song and video, I don’t think I would have liked it other wise. He is the one person who truly makes this song GREAT! It’s sad that he isn’t here with us today, to be able to be a part of this re-make, but I think he would be proud never the less, to see everyone come together to help such a cause. The only thing I really would have loved to see, is a little more people from the original song come join in, that’s the only thing I felt was truly missing.

The original will always be the best, like any original, but I think they all did a great job coming together and making it a little modern.

If you are a bigger fan of the original check out:

There really is nothing better then the original.

xo,
kristin nicole