SoapNights / Kristin Nicole

Did You Ever Think Of ME?

Did you ever stop and think of me
Or did you just pretend I never existed?
Closed that door
made a lie about how you never loved me anymore
Left me standing there with my heart on my sleeve
wondering what I did wrong
Wondering how I can fix something that didn’t exist.

I wrote you a letter
you never wrote back
later i found out you held it in your sack.
Why didn’t you say anything to me
why did you hide who you were
don’t you know i would have loved you anyway

Standing there all alone
I cried
Wondering why you couldn’t love me
And with tears in my eyes I pulled out that paper and pen
started to write all the things you didn’t want to feel
But I told you the truth
and the truth always hurts
look in the mirror and see who you are
stop hiding
I’m right here.

No words can express the pain you caused me
I think that’s when I started shutting people out
I started to hide behind a wall
because behind the wall no one can see
all the pain you truly caused me.

I pulled out that paper and pen
started to write all the things you didn’t want to hear
But I told you the truth
and the truth always hurts
look in the mirror and see who you are
stop hiding
I’m right here.

Now it’s too late
you’re already gone
Why couldn’t you see the truth
that no matter who you were
I would always love you.
Why couldn’t you stop hiding?
I was right here…

written by: kristin nicole – February 19, 2010 – Friday

~ This was written about someone that used to be in my life. They passed away without ever being able to talk things out. Life is too short, when you feel something let the person you love know because you never know when they’ll be gone. If I haven’t said it enough, I love you!~

xo,
kristin nicole

Tomorrow’s your Big Day…

Tomorrow’s your big day
The day you tie the knot,
The day you say I do,
And forever be his glue.

I see the way you look at him,
The smile in your eyes,
The way he looks at you,
The love just shines.

Tomorrow’s your big day
I’ll stand right by your side
I know your dad won’t be there
but he’s watching from above,
watching every step you take,
and sending you his love.

Tomorrow’s your big day,
The day you tie the knot,
The day you say I do,
and forever be true.

Tomorrow’s your big day,
A marriage made by two,
The day you fall in love again
and say I DO…

xo,
kristin nicole

Written By: Kristin Nicole – 2011

Dedicated to my best friend, my sister who I adore. I love you and I wish you nothing but the best filled with happiness and love. I love you.

The Question:

What do you do when you find out your husband cheated on you?
I just found out a couple of weeks ago that my husband cheated on me twice with the same girl, a couple of weeks apart, three years ago. We were going through a serious rough patch, having only been married a year, fighting a lot, and I was being stupid and threatening to leave him. He was only 20, and I was 23, and we had a couple of friends that used to come over and hang out at our place a lot, one of them being this 18 year old girl. I thought she and I were good friends, I treated her like a little sister. I found out that she was infatuated with my husband, took advantage of the fact that he was afraid I was going to leave him, and , seduced him with a little alcohol and the whole I’m here and she is not. After the second time, he started distancing himself from her and the other friends, and eventually kicked them out altogether, me none the wiser. He has lied to me about it for 3 years, never telling me because he was afraid of losing me. Should I let it go or not?

My Response:

Dear Cheated On:

Cheating is never tolerated, and even though she threw herself at him, he still had the power to say NO! With that said, men are also weak, this does not mean that what he did is okay by all means, but the fact that he distanced himself from that group and that girl shows he was A. Trying to avoid you finding out or B. He felt really bad and didn’t want anything to do with that group. Either way, he did what he did (although you were having problems at the time, again it still does not excuse what he did), but seeing it in a man’s point of view, I can see why he leaned more towards this 18 year old girl who was throwing herself at him. He was and still is very young, and mistakes are made. I would not condone him cheating and the fact that he hid this from you, but if he really loves you and you really love him and he never did it again with her after that (3 years ago) or anyone else for that matter, than it really is up to you if you can forgive him and move on. The big question is: Can you ever trust him again? If you can trust him and let this go and work on your marriage then do it, if you are going to throw this in his face and be angry with him about this all the time, then there are some hard decisions you may have to make down the road. I think you should definitely communicate about this and tell him how you feel, don’t hold anything in. You deserve someone that won’t cheat the first sign of trouble. He may be sorry but can you forgive him?

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

My husband and I are supposed to renew our wedding vows in a few days but I am not in love with him anymore.? I am actually thinking of filing for a divorce. My husband is really making a big deal of the vow renewal thing, and has already paid for plane tickets for guests to come. We are supposed to have a big party afterwords, sort of an anniversary party with family and friends. He has invested a lot of money in it. Should I just wait until after everything is over before telling him I want a divorce, since he’s spent so much money already?

My Response:

Dear Renewing your Vows;

You should have been honest with him before he spent all that money planning to renew your vows, now with that said, it’s too late, but it is better to tell him before hand than to wait afterwords, there may be a chance for him to get some of the money back on a lot of things. Your husband is probably going to be heart broken seeing as he is the one planning this, but do you really want to stand in front of family and friends and renew your vows to a man you no longer love? How can you live that lie? Step up and tell him how you really feel, he may not appreciate it now, but trust me, it’s better to tell him now than after the renewal of your vows. That is so much worse, he will feel like you really lied to him then, standing in front of everyone and looking him in the eyes only to be saying words that you really don’t mean. Step into his shoes for a minute, and how would you feel? Tell him the truth now, and hope that he can get some money/refunds back.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

If your dating a much older guy, would you introduce him to your parents?
Me and my boyfriend have a 20 year difference, both of us are over 21. It’s getting serious and parents would like to meet him. Any advice?
Additional Details
We have been together for a year, neither of us are married (know someone will ask).

My Response:

Dear Much Younger;

If you are 20 years apart that makes your boyfriend over 40, this is a huge gap difference and regardless of when your parents meet this guy they probably aren’t going to react the way you want them to. If you are serious about this guy and you have been dating for a year, then I think it’s time the parents meet him. Give them the heads up so they aren’t shocked in front of him. Don’t keep hiding him from your family, you are an adult and you can date whoever you want, they will eventually have to come around and understand. If you fell in love with him, I am sure your family will to.

GOOD LUCK

xo
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com/a>

The Question:

What would I have to do to get a divorce? My wife cheated on me after two months of getting married, I know that is not love involved so please don’t hit me up side my head (I know what she did was wrong), please it took me some time to come here an ask for help I’m a good guy and I don’t deserve this. Please can anyone help me… (Modified question to make sense)

My Response:

Dear Married for 2 months;

There are two options, if you want a divorce you can file it yourself by going to the courthouse in your area, and asking them what the process is to file for a divorce, (if you have been married for only 2 months you may be able to annul the marriage, which is easier and cheaper to do). If you have to get a divorce and you don’t want to file it on your own you can consult a lawyer. Get a few price ranges and whoever is best, if the two of you don’t have anything under your name together and no children then it should be fairly easy to get divorced. Sorry to hear that your wife cheated on you so soon after marriage, no one deserves that, just be happy you found out now rather than 10-20 years down the road. Get divorced and move on, you deserve someone who won’t do something like that to you.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

Where did my sex drive go? I use to love to have sex and was always ready but after menopause I just do not have any sex drive anymore, what can I do? Advice please….

My Response:

Dear Menopause;

“The loss of estrogen following menopause can lead to changes in a woman’s sexual drive and functioning. Menopausal and postmenopausal women may notice that they are not as easily aroused, and may be less sensitive to touching and stroking — which can result in decreased interest in sex.

In addition, lower levels of estrogen can cause a decrease in blood supply to the vagina. This decreased blood flow can affect vaginal lubrication, causing the vagina to be too dry for comfortable intercourse.

A lower estrogen level is not the only culprit behind a decreased libido; there are numerous other factors that may influence a woman’s interest in sexual activity during menopause and after. These include:

* Bladder control problems
* Sleep disturbances
* Depression or anxiety
* Stress
* Medications
* Health concerns” – you can find more information on this SITE

I would consult your doctor and get advice on what you can do or what you can take to help get your sex drive back. Unfortunately our bodies go into different reactions when it comes to menopause and there is nothing wrong with this. You have noticed the problem which is the first step, now talk to a doctor and see what you can do to get that sex drive back.

Good luck

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

Dear kristin nicole;

Is it normal to see something so beautiful or fragile that you just want to ruin it or break it?

My Response:

Dear fragile;

I don’t know that it is not normal but it isn’t all that normal either. Am I making sense here? I mean why would you want to break or ruin something beautiful or fragile looking. If you were a child I can understand it more. I have nephews and sometimes they think it’s funny to just break something nice (like a flower), but they really don’t know that what they are doing is not nice. As an adult we know better, having thoughts about doing it is one thing, but proceeding to act on your thoughts is another. So to answer your question, I guess the answer would be No, it’s not normal to want to ruin or break something beautiful or fragile, but are you the only one that thinks this way? I’m sure you are not….

xo,
kristin nicole

The Question:

My husband cheated on me 1 1/2 years ago and then I found out…
He broke of all ties with his mistress. A couple of days ago we drove past her. The road was busy so we were driving slowly. He did not think that I noticed but when we went past her he stared at her, and for at least 5 seconds. When we went round the bend he looked back again. What does this mean? Or is it nothing to worry about? Was it just curiosity? I mean he said he made a huge mistake and dislikes her very much. Why look then? I think she saw him. What would happen after such a long time if she decides to text him or something? Men aren’t interested in old mistresses long after, right?
Additional Details
Not sure if this matters, but we are both 43 and she is 31 and very pretty.

My Response:

Dear Denial;

Don’t be naive, you are a grown women, and your husband cheated on you. This wasn’t some teenage “I messed up and cheated moment”, you are married and he betrayed your trust and your love. Sticking in a marriage after such a betrayal is 100% your decision, but don’t be naive and think that he is absolutely over this women or that he hates her somehow, or that men do not go back to their mistresses and cheat again. There can be many reasons why he ended things with her, one he was caught (you found out), and he realized that he doesn’t want to loose you so he ended things with her, two she ended things with him and you found out about the affair and he wants you to believe that he’s the one who ended it because that would make it so much more powerful and more trusting to believe than if she ended it or it just ended and seeing her that day brought back memories. It doesn’t necessarily mean him looking at her will make him run back to her, or her to him, or that there are any feelings still there, but it could mean that he did feel something and he was thinking about her. Either way, it’s not good, your husband cheated on you and the trust is no longer there. You have to either let it go and keep moving forward (if you aren’t planning on leaving him), or get out (have respect for yourself) and don’t allow him to cheat on you again.

I think the older we get we tend to hang on, because it’s so much easier than starting over at your age, but no age is ever to late to start over with. Respect yourself, love yourself and talk to your husband about how you feel. If you want things to work then the two of you need marriage counseling, you need to talk out your feelings and try to work on it, if you can never trust him, it will never work and you will live a life full of lies. What do you want?

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

Another year gone by, and another Valentine’s is here. Not everyone is blessed to be in a relationship. Valentine’s day is said to bring a lot of depression and suicide rates up. People need to realize that Valentine’s day is just a holiday invented by people to celebrate your love, but you shouldn’t just celebrate it one day out of the year, you should celebrate your love 365 days out of the year. Okay well not exactly celebrate since you can’t buy gifts and go out to dinner every single day of the year, but you can celebrate it by loving each other, respecting each other, making memories that will last a life time.

If you are couple go out, be romantic but don’t just do this special thing on Valentine’s day, go all out on a regular day, I think it would mean so much more than just because it’s Valentine’s Day. Don’t get me wrong, flowers and a gift is nice on Valentine’s day too…

For those who don’t have someone to celebrate Valentine’s day with, why not go out with a friend, have some drinks, watch a movie. If you feel sad don’t fret, there is always next year.

Happy Valentine’s All – hope you have a wonderful day!

Here’s a poem I found:

It’s More Than Saying I Love You

We give on this day candy and flowers,
But we never stop to say thank you for the many hours.
You have stood by my side and gave a smile,
As if to tell our hearts it’s been worth every mile.
No need to buy a teddy bear or even a card,
It’s pretty simple and not at all hard.
Just put your arms around me and hold me tight,
And say without words that in your heart all is right.
You may say I Love You throughout the year,
But on this day you need to make sure.
The words so sweet and straight from your heart,
That your life would be lonely without my part.
So put forth the effort and take the time,
Look me in the eye and say I’m glad you’re mine.
~By Marai

xo,
kristin nicole

~Happy Valentine’s Day~