SoapNights / Kristin Nicole

The Question:
I have been staying with my boyfriend for a year, but recently he has started to lose his temper and beat me. He is kind and loving 90 percent of the time, should I leave him because you know the beating will never stop?

My Response:

Dear Abused;

I think you already know the answer here. If you even have to ask then the answer should be obvious, but just in case…. My answer would be YES Leave him, and not just because he probably won’t stop, but because this is not love! Someone who loves you won’t dare put a hand on you, no only is it disrespectful but it’s physical abuse and no person should ever have to go through this. If he has a bad temper it could only get worse, he needs help and he is the only one that is going to have to want to get the kind of help he needs, but if you stick around it can only get worse from here. Respect yourself and Love yourself enough to get out of a relationship you already know is no good for you. Find someone that will respect you and love you and won’t lead to violence just because he gets upset about something.

xo,
kristin nicole

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The Question:

My boyfriend had told me that when he was younger his mum had an affair and his parents split up for a while but now they are back together. His mum goes out a few times a week dancing or with friends but always comes back at funny hours, considering clubs close at 3 she doesn’t come home until 6. I have also seen her sending text messages saying ‘you will always have my heart’ etc to an unsaved number in her phone which she then deletes. I want to tell my boyfriend or his sister but I don’t want to stress him out as he is coming towards the end of university and needs to concentrate on his work and his sister is getting married in June and I don’t want her family to be upset/arguing on her big day. Should I just ignore it?

My Response:

Dear Knows Too Much;

This is a very hard situation to be placed in. If you don’t tell him, and he finds out you knew he might be upset that you didn’t tell him, but on the other hand it really isn’t any of your business. I would honestly more than likely stay out of it, at least for now until after your boyfriend finishes his exams and his sister gets married. And honestly I am sure they aren’t oblivious to the fact that the clubs close at 3am and she doesn’t come home until 6am. I am sure they have noticed this too and I am sure their dad notices as well. Perhaps they are in denial because they do not want to believe that she would do this to their family again. I would stay out of it for now. I am not sure how you even saw her phone messages, especially if she deletes it soon after, BUT just stay away from it all. After all the exams and wedding then decide if you can keep this secret from your boyfriend. Although this is not your business, he is your boyfriend, and trust is a big factor in any relationship. Put yourself in his shoes, would you truly want to know if your mother was cheating on your dad yet again? Or would you rather just not know???

Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

If you caught your mom cheating would you tell your dad or not tell him? If not why? If so why?
~ My sister caught our mom doing it with a fellow half her age… Yes she had a cell phone that takes pictures, and took a picture for proof of my mom and this guy doing it. My mom is 51 years old and my dad is 55 years old; the fellow my sister took pictures of is probably 18 and having sex with our mom… What should we do, our dad has always been there for us and my sister says he has a right to know…?
(Revised Question – KN)

My Response:

Dear Stuck in the Middle;

This is a hard situation to be put in. I would definitely confront your mother first, and give her the opportunity to talk to your dad first. If she refuses to tell him the truth, then this is a choice you and your sister are going to have to make. I think no person should cheat on another person, and the fact that your mom is cheating on your dad with a younger man, and somewhere where she can obviously get caught by her own children is wrong on all levels, she has no regard on the consequences that her actions are causing. Talk to your mom first and then go from there.

Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

I am in love with my wife’s brother’s daughter… She also can’t live without me. I am afraid of the consequences. I also have a son. I tried many times to break but failed, what should I do?

My Response:

Dear Disturbed;

My first reaction: IS THIS A REAL QUESTION?
Second: That would make her your Niece and that is just wrong.
Third: How old are you and how old is she?

Okay so you are in love with your niece (not by blood) but by marriage, and either way this is wrong. I am assuming she is much younger then you and I am assuming that your wife has no clue. First off, why stay in a marriage you aren’t happy in? You obviously do not love your wife to go as far as to sleep with her niece. I would break off whatever it is you think you have going on with this girl, depending on where you live, if the brother (her dad) finds out, this can be considered statutory rape (again I don’t know how old she is) if she is older then it will only cause a lot of problems between you and the family. Do you want to be in a relationship where everyone will not only hate you, but where you will drift her away from her own family. She should also know better, because you are her Aunts husband, and not only is she having an affair with a married man, but to a man who is married into her family. You need to end things with her, and I mean you needed to end this YESTERDAY. Well… you needed to never have started this in the first place… but what’s done is done, so now you need to try and fix things. If you aren’t happy in your marriage then get a divorce, do not cheat on your wife and do not do it with her NIECE. If you are here asking what you should do? I think deep down you already know that answer…

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

I am going through a separation after 20 years of marriage?
I am a man on disability, my wife wants to leave me at 55 years old and 20 years of marriage. We have 2 boy’s what am I going to do???

My Response:

Dear Disability;

It isn’t easy and I know you did not say that this is why your wife is leaving you (but you brought it up and one has nothing to do with the other) so I’m going to say it… I am sure that your wife is not leaving you just because you are on disability. (Again this may not even be what you are thinking). Have you sat down with your wife and tried to make the marriage work, figure out why she is leaving you? Communication is key, if you don’t talk, you can’t fix the problem. I know it must be hard to be married for 20 years, have children and be on disability and then have your wife leave you, but it is not the end of the world. You still have those two boys who I am sure love you. Stay focused on the good, and try to find things that you can do with your disability to stay busy. There are tons of groups that you can join, and remember you still have those two boys and that is always going to be your family. Stay strong…

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

I have been having an affair, and now I have a major problem?
I’m married, and I have been seeing another man who works with me since mid May, and we have been having sex, well … a lot. He works in the same building as I do and he has the same lunch hour as I do, so we meet each other at lunch and, well, I know this is going to sound bad but … almost every day and, well you know what happens.

Well, about two weeks ago, one of my other male co-workers figured out what me and this other guy have been doing at lunch, so he asked me if I wanted a change. He was really handsome and I couldn’t resist, so I had some fun with him too and it was so good, so I started to see him as well.

Last weekend I started to have some problems “down there”, so I went to get it checked out, and I found out I have an STD. I might have caught it from one of the two men I have been seeing, and I’ now worried that I might have not only spread it to my husband, but one of those guys that didn’t have it.

My Response:

Dear Cheater;

You are a grown women, not only are you married and cheating on your husband but you are using unprotected sex. Didn’t you ever take sex education? Well here is the 101 – NEVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX; as this can result in STD’s or Pregnancy. It is obvious you got this from one of the two men, so you should definitely confront them about it because they can be spreading it to other women as well. As for your husband, it is not going to be easy but it is better to come clean and tell him the truth, because eventually he is going to find out if he has the STD also. I don’t agree with cheating but if you were going to do it, you should have at least used a condom. I don’t want to say it but I will… Karma…

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

My Best Friend

We have known each other for way too long
You aren’t just my best friend
You are like a sister at all costs.

We have been through ups and downs
at one point we didn’t talk
life moved on
and then one day out of no where
you came back into my life
it was has if we never stopped talking
as if we had never been apart
that’s how you truly know this friendship will never part.

You mean the world to me
everything you do
I know if I need you
You’ll help me through

If you’re ever in a bind
I hope you know I’ll do the same
No matter what time or day
I’ll always be here
Just call out my name…

I know it sounds corny
but the saying is true
Friends for Ever
Just Me & YOU!

~Written by: kristin nicole – March 16, 2011

xo,
kristin nicole

Dedicated to my best friend Grace – I have known her for over 15 years now and she is like a sister to me in so many ways. I was inspired to write this poem after she wrote me a sweet message on my facebook page. She just got married, and I was so lucky to have been chosen as her Maid of Honor…. It is truly a blessing when you find a true friend for life… Love you….

Get your own Friends

Get your own friends
why do you have to seek out mine?
are you not over it?
give up your pride…

Tell me a story
the one that fell apart
the one that left you
and died out your heart

Get your own friends
leave mine alone
is it not enough that it ended,
that you keep lurking around my door?

Time is of essence
we all have to move on
leave it alone now
leave it be
leave, leave, leave…

Get out of my mind
out my head
leaving was the best thing
if not I’d be dead

Get your own friends
just leave mine alone
find a new hobby
find a new friend
just stop trying to steal mine instead…

~written by: kristin nicole – March 2011

This was inspired by a dream a friend told me about. She stopped being friends with her child hood friend and she started hanging out with her friends and taking them from her, she just wanted to move on from their friendship, but every time she turned around, she was there. Hope you enjoyed the poem.

xo,
kristin nicole

Little black box

When you left I put you in a box
wrapped you up and left you in the back of my head
Every now and then you pop up into my mind
leave me alone
it just isn’t our time

You left me so sudden
it all just went away
I didn’t have time to cry for you
so I walked away.

Everyone leaves one day
but it just wasn’t your time
that day in the hospital
a part of me died.
Every time someone left a part of me left too
it’s a wonder I’m still here
standing here
writing this to you.

With tears held back
I shiver in fear
because I don’t know who I’ll lose next
and drown out my tears

The world is so big
yet oh so small
why can’t you just leave when you leave
why do you linger in my dreams?

Letting go of pain
is the hardest thing I’ve had to do
Living in this world of mine
I do what I have to do

Today is another day
Today I continue to walk
Today I live my life
with you in the back of that little black box.

~written by: kristin nicole – March 16, 2011

xo,
kristin nicole

The Question:

I’m getting confused about my husband…

My husband has started being secretive about things, hiding passwords and such, I recently was able to see his facebook page and my thoughts were true… he’s on there chatting with other women and giving his number out. When I confronted him with this, he took me off his friends page so I couldn’t even see what he is doing. He cheated once before so the trust isn’t strong between us. Also a young girl that really isn’t my friend told me she been friends with him and that he is willing to be more than friends. He is asking for her number and has yet to come out and say he is married. I’m to the point where I don’t want him around and I have to be almost drunk to have sex with him because its hard to want someone who clearly doesn’t want you. I’m going into a state of depression and I know it wont be good for my kids to see me like this and I have asked him to leave many time but he claims he wont because there is nothing wrong with flirting. What do I do?

My Response:

Dear Blind;

Let’s start with the fact that the trust is already gone because he has already cheated on you once…. That should have been the first sign to get out…. Now if your husband took you off his friends list on his Facebook, I would definitely think something is going on. You already saw his facebook and got proof that he is talking to other women and giving his number out (Although there is no proof that he has physically cheated on you, this is still a form of emotional cheating), you also said that another women told you that he would be more than friends with her and you were never even mentioned as his wife. What more do you want??? Do you need to actually catch him cheating on you AGAIN to finally realize that this guy is a looser and that he really does not love you? I’m sorry and I don’t mean to be harsh, but you need to wake up and realize that you can do so much better then this guy. You said it yourself “I have to be almost drunk to have sex with him because it’s hard to want someone who clearly doesn’t want you.” (You already know what you need to do), and although you said he won’t leave even after you asked him, well you need to tell him that this ISN’T HIS CHOICE to make…. He needs to get out of your house, or you will leave with the kids some place else. (I don’t know if you have family or friends that you can maybe go to), tell him you want his stuff out of the house by a certain date and you will not return until it is done. You have kids with this man, and it is not good to be depressed and for them to see what their father is doing to you. He needs to grow up and commit. He obviously was not ready for that the first time he cheated on you and like I said earlier that should have been a clear sign (TO GET OUT)))…. I know it’s harder said then done, but you need to get him out of your home and you need to pull your life back together with your kids, stay strong, and remember that no man should ever treat a women the way your husband has treated you. There is no excuse to cheat or take you off his facebook and lie to your face about talking to other women. If he’s lying to your face about something you saw with your own eyes, makes you wonder “What else is he lying about?” Stay strong and move on with your life, you deserve a real man to love you and be with you.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com