I had sex with my wife’s father. What should I do?
Okay so my wife and I were visiting her parents for Easter. We all had a lot to drink and by about 2 AM my wife and her mother had passed out on the couch. I talked to my father-in-law for another half an hour before suddenly he reached over and kissed me on the cheek. I returned it except this time I kissed him on the lips, and before I knew it we were downstairs in the guest bedroom having sex.
It was one of the strangest and yet most amazing experiences of my life. It was without question the best sex I ever had, but obviously it could prove to be problematic. My wife knew I was bisexual before we got married, but I think to her this would be crossing the line. I haven’t heard from her father since and my wife clearly knows absolutely nothing (we’ve since had sex twice).
I feel somewhat guilty, but I know if the opportunity presented itself again I would do it again. What the hell should I do? Should I tell my wife and ask her if I can carry on with her father in a purely sexual way—-not in a relationship? I love my wife and don’t want to lose her. I’m so confused. Please help. By the way we’ve been married 4 years and have no children.
My Response:
Dear Bisexual;
First – OMG – Is this for real?
Second – Of course your wife would be upset, not only are you betraying her trust by cheating on her, but with her father no less. This is not only wrong on all levels on your part but on her fathers part as well. If you decide to come clean do not expect her to be okay with you having a sexual relationship with her father and don’t expect her to want to stay with you at the same time. What person in their right minds would think this is okay? I think a person who is bisexual is still trying to find what they really want in the world, and I think that you are still confused. You need to decide what you want to do but under no circumstances should you do this again, not only are you hurting your wife but your mother in law who probably is in denial that her husband is gay. Own up to what you have done, do not let your wife live a lie with you and end up having children only to hurt them in the end. You have only been married for 4 years and although this will be hard on your wife it is a good thing that you do not have children yet, it will be a lot easier to get out of the marriage. If you truly loved your wife you wouldn’t have cheated on her, especially with her own father. Talk to your wife about how you have been feeling and if you decide to tell her the truth, good luck, because this is one case where you are going to need it.
What do you think? Or am I overreacting?
So there is guy in my girlfriends class that obviously has a thing for her cause he always stare or like glances at her. One day i pick her up from class and he didn’t know who i was and was walking toward her and when he saw me he immediately walked the opposite direction ( on to the issue ). So this guy got partnered up with my girlfriend, and we both have a feeling he has a thing for her and me and her have discussed and agreed on it. So they obviously have to meet and do they’re project, and tells be that shes going to invite him into her dorm to do homework, when there’s a study area right below her and next to her dorms. So i get angry about it cause she for one knows he likes her and all, and wonder why of all the places invite him to your DORM!. But yeah i get annoyed cause sometimes shes makes a big deal about him looking and even looked up his myspace to “see if hes a douche or that type of person who would try and hit on someones girlfriend “. I thought this was odd, and the fact that she thought to invite him to her dorm to study irked me a lot. Wouldn’t you feel the same way?
My Response:
Dear Overreacting;
You need to talk to your girlfriend and tell her how you feel, if she respects how you feel there is no reason why she can’t meet up with this guy at the study center. I agree with you here, there is no reason to meet up to study in her dorm room when there is a study center in the same building. I think your girlfriend is playing with fire, and although she may act like she doesn’t like the fact that this guy likes her, then why even bother looking up his myspace, facebook or any account for that matter. On that note; you have to trust your girlfriend and even though this guy might have the hots for your girlfriend you have to trust that nothing will happen. I don’t like putting temptation in places they don’t need to be, so ask your girlfriend to meet him in the study center and not in her dorm room if this will make you feel better. Communication is key, and if she is mature she will understand and have no problem with meeting him in the study center instead.
Good Luck
Two wrongs don’t make a Right. If your wife cheated on you then there are other options you need weigh in. First have you talked about it? Communication is key to any relationship, and this is not something that should be ignored. Two if you have talked about it and you have decided to forgive her then cheating on her is not a way of forgiving, nor will it make things any better. If you feel you can’t forgive her or trust her again then the only option I can think of is Divorce. Find yourself a divorce attorney and get out of a marriage you aren’t happy in. You deserve a wife that won’t cheat on you, and you need to either fix the marriage or get out.
Can’t you see the truth
Why must you be so blind?
I guess at this age we just like to hide.
I don’t know what to tell you
What to say or what to do
I wish you can see when it’s just not meant to be.
Love is blind
the heart doesn’t want to see with the mind
Open your eyes and see the truth
that in the end he/she will only hurt you.
Sometimes I see you and it makes me so sick
to see someone with such a looser
it’s a waste of a breath.
In the end you’ll see the light
In the end you’ll understand
that what I want for you is only the best.
Stop being so blind, and open your eyes
Start seeing the truth that is right in front of you.
Written By: Kristin Nicole – 04/26/11 – Tuesday
xo,
kristin nicole
~Written a long time ago for a friend stuck in a bad relationship. Thankfully she was able to realize that he was no good for her, and she is now with someone she loves very much and who loves her back.
We’ve known each other for nearly 6 years now and have been together for 2 of them. We pretty much live together as it is between her place and mine. Before we were going out I always wanted to be with her and I felt so strongly about her and loved her so much when we got together… but in the past few months I don’t feel like I love her anymore. I don’t want to be around her or talk to her…
I understand that when your with someone for a long time you get your down time for a while but I’ve had these thoughts before. The longer we’ve been together the more I don’t want to be. The only thing is we’re 16/17 and I’m her second boyfriend… and I helped her through her first break up and don’t want to hurt her the way her ex did… I just feel like sh*t a lot of the time when I’m with her, we were so much better when we were just friends. Anyway please can someone help me out, I don’t want to hurt her but I don’t want to be with her anymore and I feel so much sh*tter when she mentions marriage and how her parents and family think we’ll get married cause I’m so good for her…
My Response:
Dear Young Love;
Telling her the truth and not leading her on will be the first step. She will get hurt regardless because she loves you but in the end she will realize that you telling her the truth about how you feel is better then living a lie. You are super young, you guys are only 16/17 and you both have so much more dating left to do. I do not understand how her parents can possibly think marriage at your age, but don’t worry so much about everyone else and what they think, worry about how you feel. You do not want to pretend to be happy in a relationship and you do not want to lead her on into thinking that one day you will get married when you know deep down that will never happen. It’s hard and you are going to have to sit down with her and tell her how you feel. In the end even if she doesn’t see what a great guy you are by telling her the truth now, eventually she will. Don’t ever settle for someone just because you do not want to hurt their feelings. Relationships are hard and when one person wants to end it there is always one person who’s feelings will get hurt, but it’s better you do it now then later down the road, staying with her longer and then telling her you don’t want to be with her will only hurt her more. Communication is key to any relationship and I think you will be a great boyfriend to another girl one day, but you have to think about you and you have to think about her. It’s not fair for her to keep believing you love her when you don’t. Tell her how you feel, and although it won’t be easy, you can finally move on and start dating other girls. Live your life, you are still young and have so much more experiences to live for. Good luck.
I don’t normally write about music or up and coming STARS, but I was watching the Ellen Show the other day (YES I heart Ellen), and she showed a preview of this girl called Amy and her boyfriend Nick. Her song caught Ellen DeGeneres attention, and what do you know… it also caught millions of viewers attention. Okay I can’t for a fact say millions of viewers but I know it caught my attention.
Here is the clip from Amy and Nick:
A little bit about Amy & Nick:
Karmin which is what they call themselves is has follows: KAR-MIN (car-men) – noun, in Latin meaning ‘song’, with altered spelling to hint ‘karma’ – I would love to know how they came up with this name or where they found it (sounds very interesting).
Nick and Amy met at Berklee College of Music in Boston (makes sense has to why they would go there), they wrote songs together for school projects and later took the name “Karmin” to put an identity to their distinct writing style. Nick and Amy aren’t just co-worker, collaborators, music geniuses, they are also dating and set to get married. (At least that was the buzz around the Ellen Show). If you want to learn more about Amy and Nick… or should I say KARMIN – You can read their Bio and you can also check out the clip from the Ellen Show.
What do you think about this? Do you think Amy will get picked up on a record deal with Nick or by herself? Although I find Nick talented, lets be real here, Amy has most of the talent (sorry Nick – I loved you in the video’s and like I said you are very talented, but Amy is phenomenal). Love your work Amy and I hope to see more of it soon.
xo,
kristin nicole
If you have Twitter you can follow them @karminmusic
Sometimes we don’t understand that the things that are happening to us in the moment are reasons we will one day hope to understand. Sometimes we fight for something that just isn’t meant to be. I used to believe in fairy-tales and happily ever afters but after a while you stop believing. You start to wonder if any of it is even true, and if it’s even possible.
I pictured my life a certain way and when god had other plans I realized that I can’t control fate or life, I can only try to control how I feel about it and I can only control what I will do next to make it better.
In life I have come to learn a lot at my age. I have gone through more then most and yet so little compared to others. You can never compare what you have gone through in life to what someone else has gone through, because although you may think that what you have gone through wasn’t easy, and I’m sure it wasn’t, what the other person may have gone through could have been worse or just simply another situation that was just as hard. I couldn’t imagine going through the things that I know some have gone through, and I don’t judge but I look at them with honor, and grace in knowing how strong some people can be, how strong some can overcome the odds and become good people.
There are still things that happen that I have no explanation for, and sometimes I just want to help those who won’t let me in. I feel bad and I feel like I’m pushed against a wall with no where to turn. If that person knew how much I loved them and cared for them they would know that at any time they could come to me, and at any time I would always be there for them. Although I was just like this person I knew when it was time to need someone I always had my mom I could count on. Sometimes we need to put our pride away and open up to the people around us that love us and care for us, because in the end they are the ones that will always be there for us.
Everything happens for a reason, and although I don’t have the answers one day you will see and understand why it happened. I used to believe in fairy-tales and happily ever afters and although I gave up on that, I still have hope inside that one day I will have my fairy-tale and one day I will have my happily ever after, because everything happens for a reason.
I found out he said he wanted to leave me for her and did, he said it was because I was neglecting him. I travel around a lot for work plus my family never really approved of him so it put a strain on our marriage. After a month he came crawling back,begged for my forgiveness, I took him back. Then I went away for 2 weeks to visit my mother and when I returned I found out that he again cheated ion me with the same girl. Said it was an accident and that it was for sure over this time. I forgave him because of my previous guilt of how I use to leave him for my work all the time
( I support the both of us and give him everything he wants) Then months later I read some of his old emails and find out he cheated with several different women. But this time there’s no excuse cause it was just a year into our marriage when he did it and at the time I wasn’t traveling. Is his love BS? Am I being stupid? I no longer work at the same place and my husband now currently supports us, great change after 5 years. Is he really trying to change?
My Response:
Dear Waiting for Change;
I am not saying that someone can never change, but the past has proven otherwise. He has cheated on you more then once, he left you for the ‘other women’ and the first mistake you did was taking him back. You used the excuse of your traveling for work has an okay for him to do what he did to you. Truth is, it wasn’t okay, it doesn’t matter that you traveled, a marriage is through better and worse and if he did not like that you were traveling he should have been honest about it, that is definitely not an excuse to cheat. Now you find out he actually cheated on you before you started traveling for work and with several women, so now do you have an excuse has to why or why it’s okay? Open your eyes, and stop being pushed around, you deserve a man who is honest with you, who will love you and be faithful. No person deserves to be cheated on, if he wants to sleep around then he should have stayed single. Don’t settle for comfort or the fact that now he is supporting you, if you want a real marriage and real relationship without lies I think it’s time you move on. You deserve better, and you need to stand up for yourself and respect yourself to know that what he has done IS NOT RIGHT! Stop waiting for him to change and change your own life.
He is so bad at sex….he lays in bed and says give me a BJ, I asked OK how would you like it, and he is very non descriptive. He said with your tongue you know go up and down… I tried but he seemed real frigid and unsatisfied to be honest.
During sex he cums within minutes and asks if I want it again, doesn’t give me kisses or asks how do I like it. I find myself demanding with him what I need and he often just denies what I demand of him.
He pumps it into me like a rabbit man on steroids. This is sad and true.. how do I freaken communicate to him?
(Revised by: KN)
My Response:
Dear Unsatisfied;
This is a Simple question, TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL! Communication is not that hard, tell him you want more attention, you want him to be more detailed in how he likes things and if he doesn’t like it a certain way, to also let you know. It is important to be open with your partner and if he can’t do that with you then maybe it’s time to go your separate ways. Find yourself a man that can satisfy you and that can open up to you, rather than just sit there and tell you to Blow him. We all deserve better then that, it is important to be attentive to your partner and get some in return.
Sometimes we have to make hard choices in life and look for a sign from God, or from the Universe to tell us that what we are doing is okay, that what we are about to do is right, sometimes deep inside we have to trust our feelings and we need to realize that maybe if we need to see a sign, maybe if we need to think about it so much, that maybe that just means it isn’t the right thing to do.
As we grow older we start to realize the mistakes we have made growing up, the stupid things we used to do when we thought “it won’t happen to me”, and the life lessons that brought us to where we are today. At my age, I can’t say that I have been through it all, because I haven’t and I know that there is so much worse in the world, but at my age I also know that I have been through much more than most. I can’t sit here and cry over the things that have happened and I can’t pretend that they never did (even though some things I wish I could turn back time on), it is what it is, and it has truly made me into the person I am today.
When you think your world is crumbling down, think about the people out there that have it worse then you, and remember that behind every shut door there is another one waiting to be open.
