SoapNights / Kristin Nicole

There comes a time in life when you have to realize this is it… when everything around you changes and you feel like you have changed as well. This is called “growing up”.

In a life full of questions, in a life full of fun, there isn’t a moment that passes that I wonder is this the one?

Is this the one time that I’ll make this mistake
Is this the one time I’ll cry
Is this the one time I’ll laugh
Or is this all a lesson of which I’ve passed?

Time is an essence
a tick of the clock
when you look around you
nothing has stopped.

Every day passes
another day gone
another day older
another day closer.

Live your life to the fullest
and have no regrets
because tomorrow’s not promised
but today…
today I live
today I grow
today i tell you i love you
Tomorrow, I just don’t know…

xo,
kristin nicole

written by: kristin nicole 2009

The Question:

Dear Kristin Nicole;

My husband and I have been together for two years, married for one, and I have our first one on the way. At first, he was uber-excited when I showed him the ultrasound pictures, but after month four, all the happiness stopped. Now, he’s either sleeping right after he gets off work until he has to go back, or else he’s up all night texting/”playing video games” when I know he’s sneaking out of the house for God only knows what. I have reason to believe that he’s been seeing another woman, but I don’t have any money to leave him, as he comes from a rich family and all of mine has disowned me. If I left him, he would get custody because he’d be better-suited to care for the baby, but he’d never do it because he likes to sleep for (at least) sixteen hours at a time, and I doubt his little redheaded hussy would want to raise a kid that’s not hers. He doesn’t say he loves me anymore, he wants nothing to do with me if I start talking about the pregnancy… if I bring it up, he leaves the room, or starts talking about bills and how we’re financially screwed from now on. I don’t have any friends to rely on, because they’re all still in the partying stage (basically, when I stopped drinking every weekend, they stopped talking to me), and I haven’t heard from any of them in about two years. Depressed, exhausted and running out of options. Oh, and for the icing on the cake? Whenever my “loving hubby” has talked about having kids, they’d always had red hair in his dream. Please help.

My Response:

Dear Exhausted;

You are in a hard situation. There a few things you can try to do. First you need try and talk with your husband to see what is going on. Tell him how you are feeling, because if you don’t communicate then he isn’t going to know how you feel and you are going to continue to feel depressed and alone through a time that should be happy for the both of you. Some men get scared when a family is on the way, but he needs to man up and be a husband a father to this child. I don’t condemn the cheating, and I understand that your situation isn’t as easy as pick and go. Although your situation is hard, personally I wouldn’t stay with a man who is cheating on me, especially when we are about to start a family, he is practically just spitting in your face (which to me is one of the most disgusting things a person can do to another). I would try to make mends with your family, family should be there for one another and unless you don’t try to mend things with them you won’t know if perhaps they will forgive you and help you out. As for your friends, those are not friends if they stopped talking to you just because you can’t go partying anymore with them, friends will be around no matter what if they were your true friends. I am not sure if you have a job, but it doesn’t matter if your husband makes more money then you do and staying with him just because he makes more money isn’t going to make you happy. If you don’t have a job, find a job that will help support you and your child if need be. You can always go to a lawyer and get a free consultation, they will explain to you your rights and what can happen if you decide to leave your husband and file for custody of your child. I don’t know where you live but some states do not allow cheating on your spouse, and you will have a big case right there if in fact he is cheating on you. I live in Miami, and in Florida it’s a “no fault state” so cheating wouldn’t help in a case like yours. You are in a hard spot, try talking to your husband first and try mending things with your family whether you stay with your husband or not, because I am sure they would love to see your baby one day. I don’t know the full story so I’m not sure the extent of why you don’t talk to your family but this is a time that you need them the most. Remember to love yourself and no matter how hard a situation may be, there is always a choice to leave. You deserve better than what your husband is doing to you right now.

If you need to talk don’t hesitate to email me.

xo,
kristin nicole

The Question:

Why does my boyfriend have to jerk off even though we have sex at least 10 -15 times a week? I found a new porn magazine in his bathroom drawer and when I moved in 5 months ago I was cool with the first one I found but when I looked through it the other day I noticed that this is a new magazine. What am I doing wrong? We will have sex up to 4 times a day if I’m willing. I’m really confused…

My Response:

Dear concerned;

Men aren’t like women, they think about sex way more than we do, so just because you are willing to have sex with them 4 or 5 times a day or 10-15 times a week doesn’t mean they still aren’t thinking about sex. Just because your boyfriend has magazines doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong, it’s natural for a man to masturbate a lot. They actually do this more then we think, and it has nothing to do with your sex life. If you don’t like the magazines that’s a different story, talk to your boyfriend about it. If it’s just the fact that you feel you are doing something wrong because he’s masturbating even though you have plenty of sex then just relax, because it’s absolutely normal for men. It’s not something I truly understand myself and I don’t think as a women we will ever understand it, so don’t even try, just know that it’s not you, and keep having sex with your man!

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

I have been dating my boyfriend for three years now, and today he thought that I watched porn. I told him specifically that I didn’t watch porn and he said I lied to him and that I like to **** other guys if I watch porn.

He said things like “that just means you want to f**k other guys too right? ,I don’t want you looking at porn!”

Thing is, when I got offensive about him watching porn he said I overreacted, but the emotions he pulled off today are completely confusing. HELP!

My Response:

Dear I don’t watch Porn;

I think there is something other than him thinking you watch porn. You said he overreacted when you found out he was watching porn? How recently was this encounter? I would sit down and talk to him, you guys have been together for three years, that’s long enough to feel comfortable to sit down and talk maturely about what is bothering him. Even if you did watch porn, I don’t see what the big deal is, if he watches it too. If you are telling the truth and you don’t watch porn then where did he get this idea from? Wanting to ‘F’ other guys? Really, sounds like your boyfriend is a little insecure, and you need to nip this in the bud, there is no reason for him to talk to you like this or overreact to you about something he has no proof about. Sit down and talk to your boyfriend, find out what the real issue is with him. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, don’t ignore this outburst.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

Is there any possible way, that I can make my husband Steve let me have a three-some with another guy. So it will be Me, Steve, and another “go getter”. He is usually open about his sexuality since he is a homosexual. Excuse me if this gets a little graphic but I always wondered how it would feel for 2 things to be in 1 hole. This sounds very dirty and I’m sorry if I offend anyone its just been a long time fantasy for me. Any tips or advice for how I could work it into the conversation? Any tips to make it happen?
– Waldo

My Response:

Dear Waldo;

Well first off your husband is a homosexual and you married him anyway and he married you? I’m sorry are you a man or a woman? Sorry if I sound a bit rude, but I am just baffled by this question. Okay back to the question on hand….How to go about bringing up the conversation, if you have always been sexually honest with your husband than just bring up your fantasies and ask him what he would think about a threesome with another man. Then go from there, if he says he is not comfortable with it you should respect his wishes and maybe try buying a toy that will semi-satisfy the whole 2 things in one hole. If he says yes, then you have to take into consideration that your husband may like the other guy more than he likes you, and are you ready to accept that. (Of course this could be far from what happens) but you have to make rules as to what you both want before doing something like this. In personal experience, I have never nor ever wanted to have a threesome with another man. My man is my man only and I do not share under any circumstances but that’s just me.
Go for it if it’s what you really want and just come out and say what you feel. Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

Dear Kristin Nicole,

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. I am twenty six and he is twenty eight. We have a one year old and found out recently twins on the way. He has a four year old from a previous marriage too. We currently don’t live together. Before the twins I moved out due to his drinking issues. We have since found a new sense of respect and trust within each other and continue to improve on our bad fighting habits and both of us wish to resume and share a life together again. We are saving up for a larger home and currently we each live with our parents; but he will not have sex with me. He says he doesn’t have a drive, but I have seen him looking at porn, just not masturbating. What is up? Is it no privacy? Although we used to live at his moms together in the beginning with no sex issues. The twins? Stress? I am very hurt by this and have expressed so but still no action. Please help.

~Lost

Dear Lost,

Communication is key, you said you expressed that you were hurt by this to him already, but yet nothing has changed. I know it’s not an easy subject, but sex is an important part of a relationship, you need to sit down with your boyfriend (without distractions) and see what is going on with him. He could be feeling a bit overwhelmed with the fact that you have twins on the way, you already have a one year old plus he has another child that he has to pay child support to; maybe he is stressed over the financial situation and more. You moved out due to his drinking problems, but you say he’s gotten better, make sure this is the case. You don’t live with him so you don’t know what he does when you aren’t there. If you are trying to work things out and saving for a new home then you should be living together, see how things pan out first. Make sure that he has truly changed before you make a bigger commitment then you are already in with him. You should live together again and make sure that this is what you both want before buying a new home. It’s hard with already having a baby and two more on the way, I am sure he is a little scared and nervous and stressing over the finances. This could be a big part in why his sex drive hasn’t been up lately, just talk to him, be there for each other. You have caught him watching porn but not masturbating; have you talked to him about this? Maybe he’s trying to get in the mood somehow? Talk to him, these are answers only he can share with you, and if he’s not sure, maybe couple counseling will help. You have two more children on the way with this man, COMMUNICATE, try to make things work, but if the two of you aren’t completely 100% in this and happy, then you need to talk about where to go from here. Good luck…

xo,
kristin nicole

The Question:

I have a fetish that I am wondering if anybody else has heard of. I absolutely love a woman when she is dressed up in a dress or costume that has giant puffy sleeves. I’ve had this my whole life and don’t know where it came from. I fantasize that a woman or even better two women dressed up kidnap me and forcibly dress me up in the same kind of outfit. I’m bound and gagged while they forcibly rape me. Is there any women out there that would do this for there husbands. I don’t even need the fantasy part all the time I would just like it for my wife to dress up once in a while, prance around just to turn me on. I’ve been married for 20 years and she isn’t in to it at all. Am I really that weird? And I’m not gay I love women! Does anyone know of movies or websites that may have pics of such costumes?

The Response:

Dear Fetish;

A lot of people have fetishes, have you ever talked to your wife about the way you feel? You have been married for 20 years, and your sex life should be open by now. Maybe your wife feels weird dressing up for you, try having a few drinks to loosen up and then trying a few different things, warm her up to dressing up for you. As for going to websites to indulge in your fetish, I don’t think that’s a good idea, your wife might not understand or feel happy about that. Talk to your wife and see how far she is willing to go and start there. Unfortunately these are things you should have told your wife a long time ago, and if you did and you knew she would never live your fantasy out, then you knew up front she wasn’t into it and you had choices you could have made, now at this point in your life you have been married 20 years, so start off with spicing it up a little in the bedroom and trying to see if she’s willing to dress up a few times. Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

I am 24 married with 3 kids. We have been married 6 years and she is 26. I want to know if I am wrong. I have been laid off of work (construction field) and my wife works. She works m-f from 6am-6pm. I watch the 3 kids all day all under the age of 6. When she comes home I would like to leave because they drive me crazy. I go to my homies house and chill there until about 12 in the morning. She always gets mad when I leave like I cant get out once in a blue moon she doesn’t but she always gets mad. She doesn’t let me use the car because it’s a stick and she doesn’t trust me with it and wont give me any money because she thinks I’m going to buy weed with it. I smoke at my friend’s house. She never believes me when I say imp going somewhere she checks my calls and gets mad if I dress real nice when I leave. She is controlling and possessive. I have not lied to her for almost 2 months so why is she still upset. Is she overreacting or am I? She is entirely too insecure…. Help

My Response:

Dear Home Dad;

I’m going to be blunt, so don’t take offense. You need to grow up! You married young and have three children, but this is something you should have thought about before all of it happened, it’s too late now and you need to take responsibility. It’s okay to want a break and get some fresh air after being with the children all day, but at the same time you wife is working all day and bringing home the money, you need to do your part around the house if you aren’t working, and it seems that you are doing just that. However, I can understand her not wanting to give you money so that you can spend it on weed, if you are tight on money and she’s the only one working you shouldn’t be spending on something that you shouldn’t be doing in the first place. Going to your friends house almost every night until midnight is unacceptable,e you are married and although you are tired you need to spend time with your wife as well. I am sure that when she gets home from work she would like to spend time with you. If you don’t like staying home with the kids all day, then find another job. I know it’s hard out there right now but keep looking and I’m sure something will come up. You are still young and you have a lot to learn, but you are married and have three children, so it’s time to grow up and work on your family.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

Discovered My Wife has been on the web cam with some man over the past several months?
Over the last Year, My wife has been acting very strange. Her temper has been very erratic. She has been evasive with me. Pushing me away when I try to get her in the mood. I don’t know what’s gotten into her. I knew something was up with her. I knew that she had been talking to another man, I know this next part was wrong of me. But the other night she went out with her sister and some friends. I got on her laptop and guessed her password. On the first try I got the password correct! I was able to see her ” Voice Call History” And found out that since April 15th 2010, she has had about 30-40 Voice ” Web Cam” Sessions with some other man from Ohio! How do I go about confronting her with this? The Web Caming happened usually around 4-6AM, sometimes in the early afternoon. The last time she was on the web cam with him was over 4th of July while I was out at a company BBQ, I’m so upset that I feel like I’m going to punch a hole in the wall. I cannot read the actual emails back and forth because she has deleted them all.

How should I go about confronting her over this? I just don’t understand why she would be this stupid. I found photos of the guy she was doing it with and he’s some Young, Punk. Guy looks like he’s in his early 20′s. My wife has on her profile that she’s 28 years old when she’s actually 41. Imp just Furious!!! What should I do?

My Response:

Dear Web Cam;

Your wife can be going through a midlife crisis of some sort, or perhaps just is not happy in your marriage. This doesn’t excuse what your wife has done. I would confront her and talk to her. It’s not going to be easy and you have to be prepare yourself to hear things you might not want to hear. You are going to have choices, you can either talk with your wife and seek counseling to try and keep your marriage alive, or you can take some time off and think about staying in a marriage that has been full of lies. No person should have to go through what you are about to go through and what your wife is doing is inexcusable. I don’t think you really need someone to tell you what to do here, I think you already know what you need to do, but you might be a little scared to confront her. Having to hear the truth about what you have been suspecting is never easy, but you have to face the truth and move forward.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answer.Yahoo.com

The Question:

Dear Kristin Nicole;

Have you ever had a confrontation with your boyfriend and later realized you were wrong and now you owe him an apology?

My Response:

Dear Confrontation;

I am sure many people have had confrontations with their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, parents, friends and have later come to realize they were wrong. If you are wrong the right thing to do is put your pride away and apologize. It will definitely make your relationships stronger knowing that you are woman enough to apologize. I would hope that your boyfriend would do the same if he realized he was wrong in any given situation. Owning up to your mistakes will teach you a lot along the way.
Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole