SoapNights / Kristin Nicole

Happy Birthday

Today is the day you were born
Today is the day I give thanks to the lord
Without you here, you wouldn’t be part of my world.

My world changed the day you came into my life
With every wish I wished upon a star
that one day I would find love
love found me a million miles away

Love entered my heart when I thought it was gone
you showed me the light,
you showed me the way,
if it wasn’t for you
my world would have gone astray.

Today is your birthday
and I wish you the world
I know that good things are coming your way
with every wish I make
with every breath I take
I know deep down that from here on out
only good things will come our way.

Happy Birthday to the man I love
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday

I love you…..

xo,
kristin nicole

~Written By: Kristin Nicole August 23, 2011 – Monday~

Happy Birthday to a wonderful boyfriend, I hope you are enjoying our trip. I love you

The Question:

Dear; kristin nicole

My wife told me that she has been having feelings for a co-worker of hers, at first I was conflicted because I thought she meant a guy but then she told me that it was another woman. I’m still conflicted with this, because we have known each other for 10 years and she has never gave off that she likes other woman. She told me that this other woman wants to sleep with her and she wouldn’t mind if I watched, but I don’t know what to think about this. Most men would love for their wives to sleep with another woman and be able to watch, but if she ends up wanting to sleep with other woman all the time? She says I can’t join them, I can only watch. Do I let her sleep with this other woman or not?
~Husband

My Response:

Dear Husband;

I think you are right, I think most men would be thrilled to watch their wife or girlfriend be with another woman, but I understand your concern in regards to her wanting to do this more than once. Talk to your wife and ask her what has brought this on? Is this just a one time thing to get out of her system, out of curiosity? You need to think about this and you need to really be sure that you will be okay with your wife sleeping with another woman. Perhaps your wife is in the closet and isn’t sure which side of the bed she really wants to sleep on. This is a tough decision and you need to truly be okay with what your wife is asking. Communicate with your wife, your concerns and make it clear that if you are okay with this, it can only happen once. Personally, I don’t think a man or woman should want to sleep with any other person, and I think this is something she should have gotten out of her system before you got married, but the fact that you have known her for so long and she has never done anything like this, makes it seem like she is either bored or has always been curious of the same sex. Talk to your wife and make the decision together.

xo,
kristin nicole

The Question:

Dear kristin nicole

My husband asked me the other day if I was willing to go to a swingers club with him. I don’t know what to think of this. We have been married for only 2 years, is he bored of me already that he wants to sleep with other people? I asked him why he would want to go to a swingers club and he said he just wanted to spice things up for us. I thought we had pretty good sex, so I am not sure what I can do. I don’t feel comfortable sleeping with other people or my husband sleeping with other people, but I’m scared that if I don’t go he will cheat on me and leave me. Do I go so that I don’t lose him? Or do I tell him no, and hope he doesn’t leave me.
~Swinger

My Response:

Dear Swinger;

If you want my personal opinion then I would say NO…. I don’t think that in a marriage people should sleep with other people. If you are married, you should be committed and happy to be with just that one person. How long have you known your husband? Has he always been a little freaky? If this is something new all of a sudden then you need to really sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel. If he is willing to end your marriage just because you don’t believe swinging is the answer to better sex, then maybe you need to truly think about what kind of man you married. Do you want to be with a man that wants to sleep with other woman, and that is willing for his wife to sleep with other men? Tell your husband that you are willing to try other things in the bedroom and spice it up in other ways, but if you don’t feel comfortable going to a swingers club then you need to speak up. Giving in and going just because your husband wants to might end up badly in the end either way, you may end up resenting him for making you go. Go with how you feel and talk to your husband, if he loves you I am sure he will be okay with whatever decision you make.

xo,
kristin nicole

The Question:

How can I gently tell my Girlfriend that I don’t like it when she sleeps with her husband? She did it twice last week and I’m beginning to feel like she’s just using me. HELP
~Feeling Used

My Response:

Dear Feeling Used;

Let’s start off with what is wrong with this question….. “I don’t like it when she sleeps with her HUSBAND”….. HUSBAND….. Husband and did I mention HUSBAND? She is married, of course she is going to sleep with her husband, she is having an affair with you and she hasn’t left her husband yet, that should be a clear sign to get out. Well the first sign was the fact that she was MARRIED. The second sign is that she hasn’t left him for you and she is still sleeping with him. Find a woman that isn’t married, a woman that you can be with without hiding it from people, and a woman that will want to be with you and only you. Good luck

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

Should I feel guilty? Why do I?? Confused!!?

Ive just come out of a relationship. It was hard to end and I wasn’t happy in the end. The guy didn’t talk to me for weeks after we split and now he turns up saying all the stuff I ever wanted to hear. Mean while, I started dating (nothing serious just dates) this other guy. I explained to the new guy, that I’m just out of a relationship and I have mixed up feelings, and he is ok about it. So why do I feel guilty? Like if I’m cheating on someone when I’m not!!? I told my ex we can talk next week but I can’t promise more then that and we will see what happens. Am I doing anything wrong? Why do I feel guilty? I’m no one’s girlfriend now right? Thanks in advance for your advice.
~Conflicted

My Response:

Dear Conflicted;

You shouldn’t feel guilty because you were very honest with they guy you are dating about just being out of a relationship and not wanting anything serious. You are probably conflicted because you may really like the new guy you are dating, and even though you haven’t done anything but talk to your ex, you are feeling like it’s wrong. If you weren’t happy at the end of your relationship then why do you want to talk to your ex now? I think the best thing to do is move on from your ex, and the easiest way to do that is to stop talking to him. If you really like this new guy then don’t ruin it by talking to your ex. If you are confused, then take some time off from both of them and see what you want to do. If you have unfinished feelings with your ex then maybe talking to him and seeing him will clear a few things up for you. Don’t drive yourself crazy about it though, you are single and you are doing nothing wrong, you were honest with the guy you are dating, so if he wants to stick around while you sort out your feelings then that is entirely up to him. Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

I’m a 17 year old girl, who recently started talking to a 23 year old guy from across the country. He told me straight up that he has two baby boys, which didn’t bother me because we weren’t anything serious. Well we texted all the time, and talked on the phone, but when he oddly kept refusing to add me on Facebook I demanded to know why. He admitted to being in a loveless, miserable marriage. They’ve been married 4 years, and he’s slept with a few other women. He suspects her of cheating on him while he was stationed in Korea, and doesn’t think that his oldest son is really his. I’m a very understanding person and continued talking to him despite his personal life. But now it’s at the point where he says he has too big of a heart to leave his wife and kids, and idk what to do. I like him, but knowing he sits out in his car every night after work to call me while his wife is inside sleeping… Idk. It’s too much. He’s an amazing guy, and though I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along. It just kills me, because I know how unhappy and utterly miserable he is with her. What should I do? :/
~17

My Response:

Dear 17;

I think you already know the answer to your question and you just need for someone else to confirm what you have already been thinking and feeling. You state: “and though I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along.” Do you need any other answer besides that one? The guy can’t be too good of a guy if he’s cheating on his wife constantly and lying to her. He doesn’t live close to you and all you have is a phone relationship, you are much too young to be worrying about a guy with these many problems, you need to be having fun, dating guys more your age and enjoying your life, not worrying about a guy who is cheating on his wife, his family with other women and sneaking off at night to talk to you. Close the door to this relationship and move on.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

Me and my wife dated 7 months, got married, and now we are almost married a full year. We almost got divorced 2 different times, one was a week ago. She has a bad emotional past (family divorces, alcoholism in two fathers) and we don’t share much in common, we were attracted to each other sexually very much, and developed a friendship and evolved into love. Lately it hasn’t been good, past few months have been crappy. When it gets good though, I always seem to wish she would be this girl I have in my head, who wears dresses all the time and is extremely feminine and sweet. My wife never wears dresses (it sucks!) and is more “country” than “feminine city girl”. I knew this going in, but now I just wish she would be like that. What do I do? Is there a real girl out there to fulfill this need of mine or maybe just stick with my wife, who I have a relationship with and shared many memories with? I just don’t wanna miss out on anything in life. Sometimes it sucks because I like video games and good movies and she hates games and likes one type of movie. Also she always seems too “sick” or “hurt” to do anything or go anywhere fun. She is on meds for Arthritis and a couple other things. (we are both 22 years old). She also has self esteem issues, she is codependent on others too. I wish she was independent. She has had many jobs but quite them all for various reasons. any advice?
~Too Young

My Response:

Dear Too Young;

It sounds to me like you got into this marriage way too fast. If you love her, try talking to her about how you feel, try perhaps marriage counseling. If you are staying with her just because you feel bad and you aren’t truly in love with her then maybe the best thing to do is go your separate ways. You are both very young and you have so much left to do in your life. If you don’t have any kids this is the easiest divorce that you can have, just split what you have and move on. There are many other women out there that you can have more in common with, next time though, don’t get married so quickly and really get to know the person you are with. No one is ever going to like the same things 100% of the time, but each person has to be willing to try and do the things their partner likes. If you love your wife, try talking to her first, maybe she would be willing to wear dresses more often and watch a different type of movie every now and then, if she really isn’t willing to try and you just aren’t in love with her anymore then you have a decision to make.
Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

Dear Kristin Nicole;

My boyfriend “Jason” and I, have been together for over a year and most of that we were long distance. As in every relationship, he was amazing at the beginning, and he still is as a boyfriend – he treats me well, he never lets me pay, he gives me compliments every single day and doesn’t complain about me at all, but there are certain things that make me wonder whether I want to be with him long-term. He doesn’t have a higher education which is fine with me, but he still doesn’t have a clue what he wants to do in the future. He has got a part-time job and lives with his parents (he will be 24 soon). I gave him a few ideas what he could do and he liked those jobs, but he would have to undertake some training which he isn’t very keen on doing. I feel like he thinks he is still a teenager and has his money just for fun (yes, after 7 years out of high-school he hasn’t saved much). Also, although he treats me well, he isn’t the nicest person, he shouts at his parents, calls him mum ‘bitch’, tweets random people to ‘fuck off’, simply he is a bit aggressive. Lastly, we don’t share the same sense of humor and he is a bad kisser. Good in bed, but a bad kisser.

I don’t want to leave him because I don’t want to hurt him and he gives me security, but I am young, I shouldn’t worry about finding another boyfriend.

Thanks for your time and help
~”Katie”

My Response:

Dear Katie;

It sounds to me like you are just settling to be with this guy. He’s turning 24 soon and it sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. You pretty much summed up reasons why not to be with him, can you think of any reasons why you should be with him? You have to think about your future, do you see yourself with a man like this? Not having a high education isn’t the worst thing, and like you said it isn’t a big deal, but the fact that he doesn’t want to try and work is a totally different situation. He needs to figure out what he wants to do in life, what career and what path he plans on taking, because if everything in life is a negative now, imagine how it will be later down the road.
You stated “Lastly, we don’t share the same sense of humor and he is a bad kisser. Good in bed, but a bad kisser.” There are so many other people out there where you will have things in common with. Being with someone and sharing things a like is a big thing to have in a relationship, if you feel that you don’t share the same humor/personality that can be a problem. As for being a bad kisser, you can always try to train him and tell him how you like it. You are young and you have so much time to find someone you are more compatible with. Don’t waste time on a boy (and I say boy because he hasn’t grown up yet); when there is probably something better waiting for you out there. If you truly love him, truly madly, deeply can see yourself spending the rest of your life with him, then sit with him and tell him how you feel, try to get him motivated into changing his life around. Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

The Question:

We’ve been dating for over a year now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased, at first it started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it’s been a month and a half since we’ve had sex. I’ve read a few articles about this already, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem but he told me it wasn’t and I know he wouldn’t lie to me. I’ve asked him about it but he says there’s nothing wrong. I just don’t know what to do anymore. He’s only a year older than me and he’s suppose to be in his prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven’t pressured him or anything because I don’t want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to, and I’m just not satisfied anymore and I’m not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. As far as I know there’s nothing he’s stressed about at work or school, could it be a combination of the 2? or something else going on that I don’t know about? And please keep in mind that I am searching for help and advice and I don’t want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and I’m not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore, but it’s frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does, and I don’t really want to talk to any of my friends about it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don’t need everyone talking about it, and the last thing I want him to feel is embarrassed. I haven’t told anyone of my friends but I’m in need of some advice. Any Ideas?

My response:

Dear no sex;

Unfortunately we cannot read the minds of a man, and the only way to get answers is asking him. I know you asked him and he said everything was fine, but it obviously isn’t fine. Don’t feel ashamed to push a little, I know you said you don’t want him to have sex with you just to shut you up, tell him that, tell him you want him to want to have sex with you. You have needs too, and just like women, even if he isn’t in the mood, he needs to give it up sometimes. Sex is a very big thing in relationships, so I know you love him and you aren’t going to leave him, that you rather live without sex, well I’m sorry but this will eventually put a damp on your relationship. You need sex in a relationship it’s one of the many ways you show the attraction towards each other, the love that you two still share, without it, it can definitely cause problems. Open up to him, try coming on to him, put on a lingerie and call him into the bedroom. (Have you tried any of these things?) I know for a women, him not wanting to have sex is like a rejection because we don’t expect men to not want to have sex, but this is normal in some men, the stress from work or school like you stated could be a reason why he’s so pre-occupied with working late in the office and falling asleep in the office. This isn’t healthy for your relationship though, and you need to talk to him about this. I don’t want to say he’s having an affair, but sometimes this is the case in a man not wanting to have sex anymore with his girlfriend or wife. This could be far from the case, I am not sure how your relationship works and if he’s away from home a lot or not, I just have to put that out there as a result to him not wanting to have sex with you. As I stated though, there can be many more reasons other then an affair. If you want your relationship to work you need to communicate, that is the biggest step in trying to figure out what is wrong and getting back a little sex in your life.

So lets review:

1. Talk to him (Don’t be afraid that he’ll just have sex to shut you up). He needs to know how you feel.
2. Dress up, come on to him, don’t sit around waiting for him to come to you.
3. If all else fails… Communicate! (SEX is very important in a relationship). Don’t hold back, you deserve someone who will fulfill your needs.

Good luck…

xo,
kristin nicole

This was an old post I found on Answers.Yahoo.com

I was scanning the web when I bumped into this article “Ask Kitty” the Title “Kitty Jumps into the Jacuzzi”.

The women wrote as follows:

“My company has a Jacuzzi on the 15th floor of our office building and I’m dying to try it out. There is a special guy in my life, but I’m thinking water sports should involve someone I can get wild and crazy with, i.e., my biker ex-boyfriend. Prior to our breakup, I promised him a romp in the tub, but we never got around to it. Would it be super-scandalous if I took him up there instead of my bf? And do we need to use a rubber? My bff told me the hot water will kill the sperm. A baby would be a clear indication I’ve cheated.” (you can find the link below, if you want to see Kitty’s response). ~Juana Getwhet

My Response:

Dear Juana,

First I would like to acknowledge the fact that you stated you had a best friend who told you hot water will kill sperm. First tell your friend to take some classes on “how to get pregnant”. YES, You can get pregnant in water, jacuzzi, pool with chlorine, any type of water anywhere that you aren’t using protection you can get pregnant. (Water will also not stop any transmitted diseases). I advise you get on a birth control pill because using a condom in the water can easily break. (Remember birth control pills also won’t help with transmitted diseases). BTW…(Sorry if I’m too blunt, but I don’t want you to make a mistake that you’ll later regret). As you indicated “A baby would be a clear indication that you cheated”. Along with many other responsibilities you’ll have to deal with later. Now back to the rump in the jacuzzi with someone who is “wild & crazy”. Have you even tried talking to your current man about getting wild & crazy in the jacuzzi on the 15th floor? How do you know he won’t be up for it? I guarantee any man wouldn’t pass an invitation like that up. If by chance he does turn you down, maybe you should re-think him being your man. My only other concern is the fact that just because your ex and you had discussed doing something like this, why would you even give him that chance to do that with you now that he is your EX? Perhaps you aren’t quiet over you ex? Issues we wold have to discuss another time.

In Conclusion:

Talk to your new man and have that wild & crazy night in the jacuzzi with him, not your Ex. And remember to always use protection.

XO,
Kristin Nicole

If you want to read what Kitty’s response was you can link Here.