Category Archives: Every Day Thoughts

How do I express myself?

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Express yourself. image by: google.com/images

Expressing yourself can sometimes be hard. If you are angry do you tell the person you are fighting with what you feel right then and there? Or should you wait until you cool off and have a more focused mind set? Sometimes letting it out in the moment allows you to really tell the person how you feel but sometimes it’s better to cool off and talk calmly with each other in order to avoid words you may regret later.

Sometimes there comes a time when you argue with your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, or friend, and sometimes you get so angry you can’t express your feelings. In my case I try to talk in the moment but if I get too frustrated I close myself off because I can’t fathom having a conversation with that person. When I try to say what I am thinking sometimes I over think my thoughts and I end up stoping my self, leaving myself with no words to say.

Why do we do this? Why is it so hard for women and men to say what they feel? Are we afraid of what the other person might say? SOMETIMES, For me that is the case. I’m afraid to get into a bigger argument when I just want them to understand what I am feeling, but that doesn’t always work.

So I find it easier to express myself sometimes through email, letters or text. I know this shouldn’t be the solution but sometimes it’s the only way to get what I feel out in the open. It’s better to get it out one way than not at all. Right?!?

In my letter I try to really go into details on what I feel but you still want to make sure you aren’t crossing the line somewhere. Sometimes in letters the person reading it may interpret your words differently and you don’t want to hurt the person’s feelings, unless taht is your intentions of course.

I found a website that talks about relationships and communication, and I truly believe that communication is the KEY to a healthy and long relationship. You can’t hold things inside because in the end you will only blow up, and that isn’t good for either one of you. This website tries to help MEN communicate better. For those men who have problems communicating check this website out and click HERE.

Even though the website indicates how to communicate more for men towards women, I think it’s good for women to read it as well. Some of women might be a little more like men then we think. Open up to your other half and tell them how you feel, but don’t attack them with your words, just tell them that you only want them to know how you are feeling and what can “we” do to fix it.

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. ~Henry Winkler.

xo
kristin nicole

Brother & Sister Wedding Dance

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I love my Brother – Picture found on Instagram – edited by: kristin nicole


So recently I have been thinking that I really want to save a dance for my brother at the wedding. My brother has always been there for me, at some points even though I was so mad at him, he really thought he was my father, so it only feels right to dance with him on my special day. My brother is my best friend and I couldn’t imagine my life without him. So I have two songs that I really like and I wanted to see what you all think. Let’s have a vote on which song you like best.

The first song is called My Wish by Rascal Flatts

Lyrics

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you’re faced with the choice and you have to choose I hope you choose the one that means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed I hope you keep on walkin’ ‘til you find the window If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything
My wish for you Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you and the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get
Oh, you’d find God’s grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything, yeah more than anything
My wish for you Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to I hope you know somebody loves you And wants the same things too Yeah, this is my wish, yeah yeah

My wish for you Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to I hope you know somebody loves you And wants the same things too Yeah, this is my wish (My wish for you)
This is my wish (My wish for you)
I hope you know somebody loves you (My wish for you)
May all your dreams stay big (My wish for you)

The second song is called Brothers by Greg Bates

Lyrics

They knew all about you from the day that you were born
Your highchair, weight in ounces, the face that we adored
But when it came to naming you Mom and Dad weren’t sure
But that’s what brothers are for

I can still remember your first day of school
And I know I didn’t say it then, but I was worried too
And I know that Momma woulda walked you through that door
But that’s what brothers are for

Yeah I know we’ve had our share of fights
And I’ve come close to killin’ you a few times
But I woulda gone down in flames just to see you soar
Cuz that’s what brothers are for

I thank God that you could be here today
Cuz standin’ next to you means so much to me
As she walks down the aisle, I know I’m not alone
Cuz right beside me is the best man I’ve ever known
And I know we’ve had our share of fights
And I’ve come close to killing you a few times
But I woulda gone down in flames just to see you soar
Yeah, I wanna see you soar
Cuz that’s what brothers are for

Tell me what you think…

xo
kristin nicole

It’s a new year

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Engagement Ring. Lands End. San Francisco, CA – Photo by: kristin nicole

It’s a new year, and everything is changing. As most of you who know me, you know that I went to San Francisco for my birthday. Well it was one of the best birthdays I have had in a long time. My boyfriend of six years, proposed to me on Lands End. The place is spectacular and I couldn’t have asked for a better proposal from the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Now I’m in wedding mode, so in between work and school I have to make time to plan a wedding. It’s amazing how I knew the theme I wanted and everything else has just come together. I don’t have everything yet, but I have the base of my ideas. I have a friend who gave me a great idea. I am going to put together a vision board, full of the ideas I want for the wedding. This way I can see it put together on a board in front of me. Now of course I am not including my ‘fiancé’ in any of this, the less he knows the better he feels. I have come to realize that men are just completely useless when it comes to weddings. Even though they have asked you to marry them, it doesn’t mean they can handle all the wedding plans and ideas. It seems to overwhelm them. I don’t like to stress anyone out, so I try to keep things has simple has possible. Thankfully I have a lot of friends and family who are very excited about this wedding as I am. Having support and helping to plan a wedding is great … how do I call it… stress relief…. anxiety relief…. Okay… who am I kidding, I’ll probably still get anxiety, because I am a little of a control freak. I can’t help it. One bridesmaid said, she can’t even surprise me because I want to approve the surprises! Sorry, but yes I do… haha

If you look at my categories, I have now added a Wedding tab. I will be periodically posting ideas and thoughts on the wedding planning. If you are planning your wedding and want to share ideas or grab some from me, go right ahead.

xo,

kristin nicole

26 years and no longer in love

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Twenty Six Years. Image found: google.com/images

The Question:

Dear Kristin Nicole;

I am thinking about leaving my husband of 26 years. I held on hoping he would change, I held on for the kids, but now that our kids are older I just can’t pretend anymore. I don’t know how to tell him. Can you help me?

~Twenty Six

My Response:

Dear Twenty Six;

It’s never easy letting someone know you want to move on from the relationship, but it’s even harder after so many years. I think you are making the right decision. You shouldn’t keep pretending to be happy, if you aren’t. Try to sit your husband down and explain to him that you are no longer in love with him. I’m sure if you have not been in love with him for a long time, that this is not going to be a total surprise to him. Either way it is not going to be easy, and he may be hurt. But at the end of the day it’s better for the both of you to move on from something that you aren’t happy with. Good luck

xo,

kristin nicole

30 Goals Before 30

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Update 12/05/12:

I have sadly not done much of the goals on my list. Unfortunately some take time and money and I have neither. I have accomplished a lot reaching my 30s. I have 15 days left in my 20s and I am very sad to see them go. My 20s have been filled with lots of emotions. I grew up a lot, I’ve learned life lessons, I have continued my education and I have found a best friend who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’m not going to lie, turning 30 is a little scary. I always heard the older you get the faster life passes you by. I am truly starting to see that now. I am seeing that every moment counts, that we shouldn’t take things for granted and we need to express to those we love that we love them. I have encountered freedom, moving away from home thousands of miles away with no family but a true friend who till this day is my family. Yoli – You are my best friend and my sister, without you I would have not been able to survive Cali, and I will continue to love you and cherish you in my life. I miss you every day I don’t get to see you, and although we don’t always talk, you are always in my thoughts. With Yoli I gained a family. I gained three beautiful nephews that I adore. They are young men now and I love them dearly.

After moving back from Cali I experienced a life lesson some should never have to go through. Lost love and financial hardship. I pulled through and survived both. My families support helped me surpass what I thought at the time was one of the hardest things I had to go through. Then I found my best friend. My boyfriend has been there with me and has supported me going through school and finishing my Associates, Bachelors and now my Masters Degree. Although I didn’t get to finish my degree before reaching 30 I will be done by the end of next year, and this is an achievement to be very proud of.

I am now entering what they call “the prime” and although I rather stay in my 20s it’s looking like I don’t have a choice. For my 30th my boyfriend is taking me to San Francisco, California. I am excited to spend my birthday over there and see another one of my best friends. I have lost friends and gained friends, and although I have gone through struggles, I would not change one thing. Every hardship, every tear, every laughter and smile has made me into who I am today.

Let’s hope 30s are even better than my 20s. Let’s see what it has in store for me…..

xo
kristin nicole

Update 07/31/12:

Sadly I have not done the ones that mean the most on this list. I have crossed out the ones that I have accomplished, and I feel I should change a few things on here…. Thoughts in process….


Update: June 2011

I have recently purchased a home with my boyfriend so I can now cross out a few things on my list before 30. The ones in bold were ones I had already done when I made the list and the ones with the line through them are the current goals I’ve achieved. What are your goals?

xo,
kristin nicole

30 Goals Before 30

30 Goals Before 30… Let’s just say I don’t have that much time, yet I’m willing to try and get 30 Goals done before I’m 30! I got the idea of writing out my 30 goals before 30 from a good friend of mine. As I was reading her blog on Clothes, I discovered another post she wrote about called “30 Goals Before 30″. I thought to myself… WOW What a great idea. So of course I asked Vanessa if I can borrow her idea and make my own 30 Goals Before 30 and she was more than thrilled to see what my goals are. If you want to check out Vanessa’s Goals you can visit her website Vanessa-Michelle.com.

So where do I begin…The goals highlighted in Bold are the Goals I’ve already reached and all the rest are goals I hope to achieve before I’m 30.

Goals

1. Go sky diving <– I would still love to do this… so maybe this will be a goal to do in my 30s…
2. Travel to one new State each year (So far so good)
3. Get a pet
4. Go to the Regatta (Lost that one, when we couldn’t make it)
5. Live in Downtown Miami
6. Buy a House with my Boyfriend
7. Get my AA
8. Picture Blog (365 Picture Project) – I better get started — EEK Not going to happen…
9. Sign up for a Professional Cooking Class
10. See a Vineyard (Napa Valley)
11. See SNOW
12. Learn to play the guitar <— This is my goal for sure….
13. Learn to play the keyboard <— we shall see
14. Visit San Francisco
15. Graduate with my Bachelors Degree
16. Make a dessert from scratch
17. Make my own recipe meal
18. Help give good advice to someone who needs it. (I would think I did this one.)
19. Go to Disney World (I’ve been to Islands of Adventure with my boyfriend but not Disney World). Does Hollywood Studios Count??? We should be going to Magic Kingdom before 30 though… heh – Whoot whoot, this was achieved. We just went for our anniversary :)
20. Go to New York and finish seeing all the things I missed the first trip. (I could have done this, but decided on Chicago instead)
21. Visit Seattle
22. Visit my friend in Louisiana
23. Go in a Limo
24. Be a Maid of Honor
25. Have a mango tree in my backyard
26. Grow my own vegetable garden (Eventually but don’t think it will happen before 30 – although my boyfriend and I did have a basil tree grow) <— working on it…
27. Design my own house (Not exactly the house but a lot inside)
28. Finish the transition from Soapnights to KristinNicole.com <– Okay this is not my fault, this is my bff’s fault.
29. Write a Book (in the works) – Not going to happen before 30…..
30. Someone to discover me and have my own column so that I can work from home and travel.<– working on it.

These are my 30 Goals Before 30 – Some of them I have already achieved and some I am currently working on. You never know where life will take you but you can make choices in life that can lead you to where you want to be. Be positive and good things will always come your way.

xo,
kristin nicole

Letting Go

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Letting Go. Image from google.com/images

Letting go is the hardest thing to do
but it doesn’t mean I’ll forget you
when sadness creeps in through the night
you are the one person I dream about to make things right
When everything looks like it’s falling apart
you give me strength to move on

When I heard you were leaving
I couldn’t believe my ears
My heart sank but I held on to fate
I didn’t want to see it
I didn’t want to hear it
but deep down I knew this day would come
that in darkness you would be gone.

In my dreams I see you
and I don’t want to wake
I can smell you and feel you
why was this your fate?

I’ll hold on until I can’t anymore
but know that I will always love you
in my heart you will always be
forever just you and me.

©kristin nicole – 2012

Emotions

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Emotions. Image by: google.com/images

My emotions are stirred and I can’t tell you why
I’m feeling lost in a world I can’t hide
When laughter and tear drops are all from the past
I can’t help but hide the tears that last

In moonlight and stars I cover the pain
Without you in my life I feel insane.
Long lasting phone calls and butterfly kisses
I hold onto the hope and the rainbows in the sky
that one day I’ll see myself the way you see me
the person inside the mirror, I just can’t be.

Feeling lost and incomplete
time passing by
leaving me behind.

You’re everything I wished for
a shooting star in the sky
gummy bears and rain drops playing a song
saying how much you mean to me, after all that’s been done.

My emotions are stirred and I can’t tell you why
I’m feeling lost in a world I can’t hide
When laughter and tear drops are all from the past
I can’t help but hide the tears that last.

©kristin nicole – 2012

Empty Lies

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Empty Lies. Image by: Google.com/images

Your promises are empty lies
you live in a world I despise
pretend smiles
and normalcy
a gift from you to me.

Look at yourself, what can you possibly see
the person looking back at me
sadness in your eyes, anger and hate
all the things that have happened have led to your fate
a little boy lost inside without a care,
living each day as if it was fair.

Get over it, stop the lies
stop pretending this is all okay
living a lie you believe to be true
Empty lies covered in pain
pretending each day is the same.

©kristin nicole – 2012

Some people never change

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Some People Never Change. Image by: Google.com/images

Some people never change
you hide behind a smile that I know is a frown
you hide behind the laughter which I know is drowned
you say things to make people believe
but I know deep inside, you’ll never see.

You will always think your worthless
I’m starting to see it’s true
with everything that’s happened
you think by now you would just be you

Maybe I’m stupid or just naive,
maybe this is you
a person of whom I can’t see
everything about you is sad from the start
a man with no face
a lie to his name
a perfect story
a fictitious blame

Stop before you speak again
see what you’ve become
stop pretending
the lie has already won.

©kristin nicole – 2012

Never Before

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Never Before. Image by: Tony Carrera

Hold me like you’ll never let me go
Love me like I’ve never felt before
Kiss me until the stars shine down
Make love to me and watch my world go round.

I never thought I would love again
but you showed me what it is
It isn’t flowers and hearts
but what I feel within.

You showed me what it was to cry
How to wipe away my tears
you showed me I was better than that
you showed me how to live
you showed me to believe in me
and never give up hope
you showed me your heart

I look at you and I love you
I see what you can be
if only I believed in me
the way you do
I would go a thousand miles just to see your face
cross the mountains just to hear your voice
cross an ocean to feel your arms around me
if only you can see
that what we have together is not just a memory

Hold me like you’ll never let me go
Love me like I’ve never been loved before
Kiss me until the stars shine down
Make love to me and watch my world go round.

©kristin nicole – 2012