SoapNights.com

The-Question:

My friend and his girlfriend have been together for 11 months and are happy and in love but I think I’m in love with her. I’d never do anything about it and even when they broke up I wouldn’t as she’d be his ex but I can’t stop thinking about her. What would you do?

My response:

Dear ‘friend’;

I don’t think you are in love, I think you are infatuated with the idea of love. You see your friend happy with another girl, a girl that is easy to get a long with because you like her as a friend, pretty, interesting and it’s easy to get all these mixed feelings. If you are a true friend and they are happy then leave it alone, try finding yourself another girl to date (there are plenty other girls out there other then your friends girlfriend), never go for the friends girlfriend, unless you want to risk loosing your friendship. If they break up and time has passed you can always ask your friend if he’d mind you dating her but even if he said yes things may be awkward and the girl might not feel the same way about you. You will still be risking your friendship. Some guys don’t mind if a friend dates an ex girlfriend, or at least that’s what they say to your face, but put yourself in his shoes, would you want him dating one of your ex-girlfriends? I’m not sure why you are even thinking about “if” they broke up if you say they have been together for 11 months and in love. I say just keep moving, don’t stop, and find another girl, NEVER go for your friends girl unless you don’t care about your friendship.

Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

Found on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

OK I love my ex and we’ve been through a lot. She broke up with her boyfriend to be with me but she got raped a couple days ago and she won’t talk to me anymore and says she wants to be left alone. I’ve tried to show her love and affection, but she just doesn’t want to talk to me. She’s saying all guy’s are bad and can’t be trusted and things. And I preached to her saying I love her and won’t hurt her but it’s like whatever I say it’s not getting through to her. I love this girl with all my life and God knows if something would ever happen to her I couldn’t live without her. I thought she loved me and wanted to get back together but I’m not sure anymore. Girls are difficult lol. I’m not sure if she’s not getting back with me because she plans on getting back with her boyfriend she just left for me. I love her though and I want her to be happy. So please give me your advice please.

My response:

Dear ex boy;

This isn’t about you, she was Raped, she didn’t just fall of a bike to get right back up. This is a traumatic event and she can be going through some major emotions right now. (Depression, guilt, post traumatic stress, so many things are going through her mind right now) the last thing on her mind is getting back with you or having any boyfriend. Men to her right now are evil, and it’s going to be hard for her to pass this and realize that you and the other men in her life that love her aren’t bad people. Don’t try to be her boyfriend, if you really love her give her time, just try to be her friend. Start off slow and just tell her that you are there for her as a friend, that you love her and whatever she needs you are there. Talk to her friends and family, she needs to be talking to someone about her Rape. (A counselor, a psychologist) someone…. be patient she needs time to heal and figure things out, she needs time to come to terms with what really happened to her and she needs to figure out how to move on from this.

I found a few websites that help with rape victims… here they are:

www.justicewomen.com

www.healthyplace.com

http://members.tripod.com

htp://womenshealth.about.com

My prayers are with your ex-girlfriend.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question: Found on Answers.Yahoo.com

We have been friends for a couple of years and a few months ago he told me that he liked me but he has a girlfriend so I was just going to go on with my life like normal. We texted each other everyday after school and talked all the time in class but when he was with his girlfriend he never talked to me. Then after a while there was drama between me and his girlfriend, and he told me that he didn’t care about the drama and he would stick up for me through it all, and he said that if they broke up we would be together. After the drama we texted for a while but now that we don’t have a class together he never texts me any more….I miss my friend what should I do?

My response:

Dear no longer friends,

I think your friend was trying to have their cake and eat it too. He say’s he liked you, but then he had a girlfriend, but then “if” he left his girlfriend he would be with you? I’m not sure I understand? If he really cared about you he wouldn’t have said that, and he would have just broken up with his girlfriend to be with you. If he was willing to stick up for you and not his girlfriend, that doesn’t say much about him, it sounds to me like he’s a jerk. I’m sorry to say this, but when you have a girl/friend or a boy/friend and you enter into a relationship the friend in the opposite sex always gets pushed back a little. When you are in a relationship you don’t tend to talk to the opposite sex anymore because it might bother your boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s just the way things are. Him not texting you as much when he had a girlfriend is completely normal. I know it’s hard to not feel offended but this is what usually happens. I’m sorry but just because you don’t have a class together anymore doesn’t mean he can’t stay friends with you, if he was a true friend he would be texting or calling you to chat, but he isn’t. I say move on, I know you miss him but that will pass, you deserve better friends then that in your life. If you insist on trying, call him and ask him why he hasn’t texted you in a long time. Don’t text, people can ignore texts but if you talk to him in person or over the phone he has to listen to what you have to say. My opinion though, you deserve a better friend that what he’s been to you lately and I think you deserve better then that, you have to know that. Hope this helps.

xo,
kristin nicole

The letter

Dear Kristin Nicole,

I discovered this blog because I’ve been exploring ways to become more confident with dating. Not too long ago I got dumped by my girlfriend and I’m a bit nervous about returning to the whole “singles scene”. Unfortunately my “skills” with flirting are out of practice, to say the least! Also, can your readers send in topics they want to personally ask you about? Right now I have a specific question on this subject because I am going through a frustrating situation with a girl I like and I’m just not sure how to move forward. I guess you could say I’m stuck in the “friend zone.” I’d really like to ask for your advice…or maybe someone can recommend a book that I ought to read? I would really like to get some advice on how to stay out of the friend zone with girls I like.

Please help,
Friends Zone

My Response:

Dear Friends Zone,

I know it’s hard to be dumped by your girlfriend but you have to move on from that, don’t let that interfere with your confidence. If you like this new girl and you want to get out of the “friend zone” then tell her how you feel. Ask her out on a date, the worst thing that could happen is that she says no, but at least you are finally back in the “single scene”. Use this has practice, and don’t stress too much on your flirting skills, just let it come to you naturally, if she’s flirting back with you it’s more then likely she likes you too, and she’s just waiting for you to finally ask her out.

If any readers have specific questions and want my advice they are more then welcome to leave a comment or even better for privacy they can email me at soapnights@gmail.com

I don’t know of any books that are good on how to stay out of the ‘friends zone’ but if any readers know of any please feel free to leave any books you think would help on this subject.

Remember confidence is always the key to any situation, when you know and feel you own the situation you will, and after that it will only come naturally to you.

xo,
kristin nicole

Sometimes life becomes overwhelming. In my case in particular, I work full time from 7am to 4pm then Monday’s and Wednesdays I go to school on campus so my day’s are pretty much from 7 to 7. Tuesdays, Thursdays & Fridays, I try to do as much with my other online classes and every other Thursday I have my nail appointment so I don’t get home until after 6 those days either, and every other Friday I get my acupuncture done. Yes my life is busy. Did I mention that in between all that on the weekends most of the time I’m also studying doing homework Saturday and Sundays and in between I try to make time to hang out with friends and family or we have birthday’s to go to etc. Tomorrow where I usually go home to study I’m meeting with a lady to help me study for my Math test on Monday. Another very much stressed case right there.

Things you need to try and make time for:

When life gets overwhelming, no matter how many things you have to do in life, you have to stop, take a breath and enjoy it. I’ve learned through out my life that one day you’re here and the next you can be gone and it doesn’t matter what age you are. When I take a break I spend time watching TV with my boyfriend, writing, or just hanging out with the family and friends. Sometimes I need that break, to just relax and not think of school and the stress of trying to finish as soon as possible. I won’t stop though, as stressful as it is, I’ve also learned that even in today’s world, even if I can’t find a job right away with whatever career I decide to choose, in the end of the day that little paper that say’s I have a degree is all that matters. I will be proud of myself to have been able to go through this long journey of life and say that I finally DID IT!

“The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows”. ~Sydney J. Harris

“There is no fate but your own fate”. ~Leslie Grimutter

xo,
kristin nicole

Key West is always fun when you go with a group of people you know are going to just lay back and have fun.

Saturday:

We went with a group of 8 people, and close friends and family and as usual we had a blast. We headed out early Saturday morning, first things first, the car wouldn’t start. But don’t fear….we have men and they will handle the issue. Run and get a battery, replace battery, 10 minutes later, we are off to the Keys. We wanted to have breakfast at Crackle Barrel but since we were off schedule and by that time the place was packed we went to the next best thing….McDonalds. LOL

Oh no not the Rain…

Rain, rain go away come again another day, we are going to the Keys and we need to party, we can’t have this rain ruining our weekend!!! We got to the Keys and the guys unpacked while the girls went to Publix to pick up food, on the way we picked up Battle with the Sexes just in case we got rained in, but I was pretty positive that it would turn out to be a great weekend. Sure enough we got back and it wasn’t raining anymore, so we started our night of drinking and had a dip in the pool. Got out a bit early and I made my pasta that I always love to make. We ate and got ready for a night out in the Keys.

Night time fun!

We headed out to Irish Kevin’s Bar. The place isn’t that big but we managed to get a small table with stools, the place was cool inside and if you are from Miami you know it’s heaven to find a place that is actually cool inside. We ordered drinks and the guy on stage was singing with his guitar, the place was one of those bars where you sing a long to certain words with the singer and it was GREAT! We had so much fun, we wanted to try other bars so we headed to where they have the Bull- ride….my friend tried it but fell off, it was too funny. Oh did I mention that at Kevin’s one of my friends tried the chugging beer contest and his wife went on stage to sing….well that was fun! We went to a few places, someone broke a sandal, I found him a pair in five minutes, paid and headed off to the next bar.

Sunday Sun

We headed out to the pool after breakfast, and what did I say in the beginning? It was a beautiful day! We were out there for hours, laughing, drinking and just having fun and meeting new people. Later we got ready and headed out for dinner. The place was not impressive and we got stuck waiting for the bill for a while. We later headed back to Kevin’s Irish Bar since we had so much fun the night before. It started off slow, and the drinks were weak, the guy singing was good but all he could sing was country, which isn’t bad but a song that’s not country , not sooo good. Luckily he finished shortly after and the the guy who came on stage next was from a band at another bar we saw the night before. Him and the guy he was with was great. Again, the drinks came and again we sang along and again we had another GREAT night! We headed back to the hotel, and baked cookies with ice cream, what better way to end a night then that?!?

Monday Morning ~ Labor Day

We got up, and we headed back home. We played Battle of the Sexes in the car, did I mention how hard that game was and did I mention we laughed practically all the way home. Isn’t it great to have people in your life that you just get a long with, that you have so much fun with and that you love so much.

To another great Birthday long weekend to my boyfriend Tony, oh I didn’t mention that, oh yea, this was part II of his birthday, Lucky guy!!!! To many birthday’s, to many more Key West trips with my brother and sister in-law and Friends….To the next time!

xo,
kristin nicole

Is Money Evil?!?

The story

I was listening to the radio this morning about two sisters, 83 and 87 year old, who for a long time always gambled together. In 1997 they had a letter notarized stating that whatever the other won, they would split the sharing’s. In 2005 one of the 83 year old sister won $500k. She won this with her brother and they decided not to share it with their older sister. The 87 year old sister had to find out about their winnings in the newspaper. She is now suing her sister for her part of the money. She says, it’s not about the money, but about morals and the fact that they had a pact to share each others winnings. The sisters had a falling out and the 83 year old women believes she shouldn’t have to share her winnings with her 87 year old sister. The 87 year old sister says she misses her sister but all she wants is what is rightfully hers.

My Thoughts

Is money evil?!? Even at the age of 87 and 83, after so many years of knowing what family means, they still let money get in the way. People are still arguing over money. Money has we know it for centuries has destroyed families, friendships and more. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to have a lot of money one day, who wouldn’t, but why does it have to change who you are?!? If you were raised with certain morals, certain beliefs, you need to be strong enough to keep those beliefs and morals, to stay true to yourself. I think what happens, is that people get greedy, and greed unfortunately takes over the love you have for people. This will only leave you lonely and unhappy at the end of the day. I rather be happy and comfortable then rich and miserable.

Sometimes our hearts get tangled
And our souls a little off-kilter
Friends and family can set us right
And help guide us back to the light.
~Sera Christann

If you want to read more about the story above Click HERE

XO,
Kristin Nicole

This weekend was a long weekend for me. Our office closed since July 4th was on a Saturday this year.

Friday July 3, 2009

Friday I got up early, cleaned the house, did some laundry, and started dinner for my parents who were coming back from their vacation in Sanibell. They got home around 1pm and we hung out for a bit and later went into the pool. The pool was so relaxing, the day started off with rain but later became a beautiful day. We later had dinner and got ready to go to the HardRock Cafe in Hollywood to meet up with some friends of ours. We went to the Improv to see Todd Glass. He was funny, but not has funny as I thought he would be. His opening act was a man by the name David, I can’t remember his last name and I wish I did because he was really funny.

After the improv we decided to go get some drinks. We started off at this Piano Bar. Okay you have to believe me when I say this was funnier then the improv. There was some women dancing on the stage which was just hilarious. Then they called up 4 men to dance on stage with that song that Will Smith dances to in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. You can see the video HERE

I love this video, it’s too funny, so you can imagine these guys dancing to this song right in front of you. It was so funny, I wish I would have filmed it. We later sat outside Tatu for some drinks. We enjoyed talking and the music that came from the bar across from us. Friday night ended nice.

Saturday July 4th

Saturday was a lazy day. We didn’t want to do anything. My boyfriend worked most of the morning and I later decided to go in the pool. We enjoyed the pool and started BBQ’ing.
The food came out Delish!!! We later got ready and decided to go to the movies instead of finding a place where there were fireworks. So we went at 9pm to see the movie Public Enemy with Johnny Dept. You can see the trailer HERE True story and a great movie, Johnny Dept did an incredible job in this movie.

Sunday July 5, 2009

Sunday was a lounging day, I did a little homework and then packed our stuff and headed to my boyfriends house. We got stuck in traffic for about an hour due to an accident but once we got home we relaxed and watched tv. Later caught Ice Age Part I on Fx. I was excited to see it because I had only seen Part II. Which later came on after Part I was finished. I really want to see the 3rd one that is just coming out, looks really funny.

So sunday was over with a flash and here we are, starting Monday all over again. Hoping this week goes fast….

XO,
Kristin Nicole

I know I am a little late on telling you how my Memorial Weekend went. I apologize. I have been so busy with school and work, and studying that I haven’t had the time to catch up.

So my weekend….

Friday we ended up not doing much, just hanging out at the house and I studied. Saturday we hung out during the day and at night got ready for a house concert at one of my boyfriends clients house. The artist: Mark Aaron James. I hadn’t heard about him until Saturday night, and let me tell you, I really enjoyed the night. It started off muggy, and it did rain a little but we were under the tent, and there was a nice breeze. This is something rare here in Miami LOL. So there was food and drinks and music. Can’t ask for a better night.

So back to Mark….

His music lyrics remind me a lot of Jason Mraz. It’s funny, different, happy. I loved it. He sang and played the guitar wonderfully. Look below and you can see his picture. I also recommend you checking him out.

Mark Aaron James - House Concert

Sunday…

Sunday we stayed home during the day, while I studied some more, and at night we met up with another couple friend and went to my favorite Sushi place… Shibui.

We ate, and as I enjoyed the mouth watering sushi in my mouth we talked and enjoyed the night. Later went over to a Bar near by called Skully’s Tavern. Mind you, I used to go here when I was little with my Aunt, and I have to say the place looks good. The drinks were good too. They closed at 1:30 so we headed out to the Tavern by Sunset Place. Had more drinks, talked more and ended the night GREAT!!!!

Monday…

To not go into to much detail, my dad was in the hospital Sunday night and had to get his appendix removed. He’s okay and home now, but Monday, I had to go visit him at the hospital. We then went to my house and my brother, sister in law and nephews were there. So I studied more ( I KNOW, I KNOW, I’m so studious) LOL…. We ate some good BBQ & Later went back to my boyfriends house. It was a great weekend, very busy and getting ready for a big test I have tomorrow and a long busy weekend a head of me.

Until next time… shoot me an email with questions or leave comments.

XO,
Kristin Nicole

Dear Kristin Nicole,

I have a friend who came over last weekend, and we discussed having a get together at my house to watch movies and eat with a bunch of our friends. However, I didn’t confirm with her and she went on to invite everyone without letting me know about it. On top of everything I realized I had a big project due this Saturday, my boyfriend will be painting the house and I have a lot of work to do as well. I told her that we had to cancel because of all the things I had to do and she sent an email out inviting everyone to another one of our friends house, without even confirming with him or asking him if it was okay to do that. She is out of control, and my friend called her best friend to tell her we needed to do something about this because she was getting out of control. Now she canceled the surprise graduation party she had for her best friend on Monday because her best friend told her she couldn’t throw the parties at either of our houses. How do we tell her that it’s just not right to invite people to other people’s houses with out discussing it with them first?

~ Frustrated Friend

Dear Frustrated Friend,

To be blunt your friend needs to learn some manners. It is very rude to invite yourself and others to someone elses house with out their approval. However, I understand that she is your friend and you guys are just trying to let her know that she needs to discuss things with you first before planning events at your house. Perhaps your friend just got a little excited about the whole get together, that she doesn’t realize that what she is doing isn’t the right way to go about things. Sit down with your friend and let her know that you were a little upset because she didn’t confirm with you. That next time you just need her to confirm with you before inviting people to your house. As for your other friend who was also upset, he should also tell her that she can not just invite people to his house with out asking him. Explain to her that you aren’t upset with her, you just need to communicate more with each other before planning any events. Or just don’t plan any other events with her to assure that she won’t go off the handle and plans things with out your permission.

XO,
Kristin Nicole