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Constant Thoughts - my thoughts are never ending

Random Thoughts:

Have you ever lost someone, a family member, a pet, a friend?

I have lost family and I have lost pets. The worst part about losing someone is feeling that sadness inside when you know nothing you can say or do can change this life event. Nothing you can do can change the way you feel and nothing you can say can change the pain.

Life is hard, and no matter what we do or say we can’t change fate.

Here is a poem written to the people/pets I’ve lost….a little bit of what I felt for each one….

When you were gone

When you left I stood in disbelief
When you left I just couldn’t breath
When you left you took a piece of me

When you were here I didn’t say I love you
When you were here I didn’t show you how I felt
When you were here I didn’t pay attention

When you were gone I said I loved you
When you were gone it was too late to show you
When you were gone I didn’t want to say goodbye

You are gone and I will always miss you
You are gone and I will always love you
You are gone and I will always mourn you

I’ve lost you and I don’t know how
I’ve lost you…

xo
kristin nicole

In loving memories of Bua, Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle David, Tessy and Oz. I will always love you and I always miss you.

P.S. I love you

Written By: Kristin Nicole – July 7, 2010

Memorial Weekend 2010

Memorial Day: Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May. Formerly known as Decoration Day, it commemorates U.S. men and women who died while in the military service. First enacted to honor Union soldiers of the American Civil War (it is celebrated near the day of reunification after the Civil War), it was expanded after World War I.

Any Plans?!?

Any plans set up for Memorial weekend? Any good ideas you want to share? Let me know, recipes and more, I would love to see them and share them with others.

In Miami people usually head to the beach, BBQ, eat and drink, which is pretty much any other weekend in MIAMI

My plans:

We have two parties to attend actually. My cousins boyfriends house in Ft. Lauderdale, with a pool, catered food, and drinks, what more can you ask for. That will start around 12pm and around 4pm we will be heading out to our friends house in Cutler Bay, where we will then continue to party in the pool, eat and drink some more, may not sound like all crazy fun to you, but you do not know the people we hang out with. I can not wait!!

Some people make a whole trip out of it, maybe perhaps to go up to the Keys for the whole weekend, or somewhere else to have some fun. This year, I’m staying in….except for Sunday of course, which is when we are celebrating Memorial Day.

Tell me all about your plans I would love to hear them!!!

MEMORIAL DAY – some people do not really realize what it meant, which I left a small description in the beginning. I found this poem that I would love to share with you all.

Memorial Day

As we stand here looking
At the flags upon these graves
Know these flags represent
A few of the true American brave

They fought for their Country
As man has through all of time
Except that these soldiers lying here
Fought for your country and mine

As we all are gathered here
To pay them our respect
Let’s pass this word to others
It’s what they would expect

I’m sure that they would do it
If it were me or you
To show we did not die in vein
But for the red, white and blue.

Let’s pass on to our children
And to those who never knew
What these soldiers died for
It’s the least we can do

Let’s not forget their families
Great pain they had to bear
Losing a son, father or husband
They need to know we still care

No matter which war was fought
On the day that they died
I stand here looking at these flags
Filled with American pride.

So as the bugler plays out Taps
With its sweet and eerie sound
Pray for these soldiers lying here
In this sacred, hallowed ground.

Take home with you a sense of pride
You were here Memorial Day.
Celebrating the way Americans should
On this solemnest of days.

–© 1999 by Michelle Keim,
Commander of Royersford VFW Post 6341 in PA.–

You can see the poem Here

xo,
kristin nicole

Did you ever stop and think of me
Or did you just pretend I never existed?
Closed that door
made a lie about how you never loved me anymore
Left me standing there with my heart on my sleeve
wondering what I did wrong
Wondering how I can fix something that didn’t exist.

I wrote you a letter
you never wrote back
later i found out you held it in your sack.
Why didn’t you say anything to me
why did you hide who you were
don’t you know i would have loved you anyway

Standing there all alone
I cried
Wondering why you couldn’t love me
And with tears in my eyes I pulled out that paper and pen
started to write all the things you didn’t want to feel
But I told you the truth
and the truth always hurts
look in the mirror and see who you are
stop hiding
I’m right here.

No words can express the pain you caused me
I think that’s when I started shutting people out
I started to hide behind a wall
because behind the wall no one can see
all the pain you truly caused me.

I pulled out that paper and pen
started to write all the things you didn’t want to hear
But I told you the truth
and the truth always hurts
look in the mirror and see who you are
stop hiding
I’m right here.

Now it’s too late
you’re already gone
Why couldn’t you see the truth
that no matter who you were
I would always love you.
Why couldn’t you stop hiding?
I was right here…

written by: kristin nicole – February 19, 2010 – Friday

~ This was written about someone that used to be in my life. They passed away without ever being able to talk things out. Life is too short, when you feel something let the person you love know because you never know when they’ll be gone. If I haven’t said it enough, I love you!~

xo,
kristin nicole

My mind struggles to think
I can feel every aspect in my mind trying to focus
but every time I close my eyes and try to think of nothing
I can’t!
It’s in constant motion,
constant thinking
negative thoughts, positive thoughts
but mostly just thoughts.

How can you get your mind to relax, to just not think of anything at all. Fully focus on nothing and let your body just relax.

Some say sleep is a form of relaxation.
Many people don’t remember their dreams, but I dream almost every night.
Mostly nonsense stuff that doesn’t even make sense.
When I wake up I feel exhausted sometimes, feeling like that dream had me running for miles.

My mind has control of me, my thoughts, my dreams my desires. How do you make it stop just for one second?
Just stop for one second so that I can breath with out feeling the pressure in my head.
Stop for one second so I can think straight.
When I read, I’m thinking
When I lie there, I’m thinking
When I dream, I’m thinking
It never just stops, it never just lets me relax, it never just lets me BE ME!

It’s like a fish in a bowl, swimming in circles for hours, for days until he takes his last breath. I sometimes feel like that, a routine, work, school, play, work, school, play. It never just stops, I never stop.

xo,
kristin nicole

–written by: kristin nicole — January 22, 2010 @ 10:15 am– Inspired by a dream, stuck in a dream–

There comes a time in life when you have to realize this is it… when everything around you changes and you feel like you have changed as well. This is called “growing up”.

In a life full of questions, in a life full of fun, there isn’t a moment that passes that I wonder is this the one?

Is this the one time that I’ll make this mistake
Is this the one time I’ll cry
Is this the one time I’ll laugh
Or is this all a lesson of which I’ve passed?

Time is an essence
a tick of the clock
when you look around you
nothing has stopped.

Every day passes
another day gone
another day older
another day closer.

Live your life to the fullest
and have no regrets
because tomorrow’s not promised
but today…
today I live
today I grow
today i tell you i love you
Tomorrow, I just don’t know…

xo,
kristin nicole

I have a job
I have money to pay off my school in order to finish my AA.
I have a roof over my head,
I have food,
I have clothes,
I have love,
I have family
I have friends
I have a car
I have my health
I have a lot more then most, and today I thank God for all I HAVE!

Whatever may come, whatever may go, at the end of the day I HAVE LOVE, I HAVE LIFE!
xo,
kristin nicole

Sometimes in life things don’t go as planned
Sometimes we run from the bad things at hand
Sometimes we face them and hope for the light
Other times we hide for cover not knowing where to part.

Some of us hide and cover our hearts, not wanting to get to hurt, not wanting to cry, not wanting to feel those feelings that we hide deep inside.
Some of us we open our hearts to others, hoping they’ll love us, hoping for truth, hoping to God for someone to love, showing us the life we always dreamed of.

Some people suffer,
Some are born rich,
Some are born disabled,
Some are just sick.
Some people cry all the time
While others carry the world on their shoulders.
Some people laugh without a worry in mind but,
Everyone’s different, that’s the world we can’t leave behind.

Sometimes in life things don’t go as planned
Sometimes we run from the bad things at hand
Sometimes we face them and hope for the light
Sometimes we just sit back and pray that this life we live is just RIGHT!

Written By: Kristin Nicole ~ October 20th, 2009 (Tuesday)

xo,
kristin nicole

Why does life have to be so complicated.

Why can’t you come to me naturally
Like the morning breeze
Like the sun rising in the mornings
Like the smile that enters your heart when something good happens.

If you could turn back time what would you do?
Would you make life just a little less complicated?
Would you take back those words you said that made tears roll down?
Would you turn dark sky’s into rainbows?

Would that make life a little less complicated?
If everything was sunshine and rainbows
would I be happier?

Sometimes I sit there in silence only wishing for what I dream for to finally come true.
How long do I have to work and pray and dream for?
How long before something actually starts working out?

If every day were sunshine and rainbows
would you give me a little smile
tell me everything is going to be okay
would you look up into the sky and just know that today life is going to be just a little less complicated?

Written By: Kristin Nicole – October 1, 2009 – Thursday

xo,
kristin nicole

Today is the day I decide to change my ways
Today is the day I stand tall and realize there is a change that needs to be made.
Today is today, not tomorrow or the next, but right here and now, where anything can happen good or bad.
Tomorrow may never come and then what?!?

Today I choose to smile not frown
Today I choose to love not hate
Today I choose to shed tears of joy not sorrow
Today I choose to live not die
Today I choose to live, love and laugh because tomorrow’s not guaranteed.

Why waste all your time sad or angry when you could be happy laughing, loving and living your life?
That’s why today I make a change…

Today I change my frown into a smile
Today I change my hate into love
Today I change my tears of sorrow into joy
Today I change my life
Because today I choose to live, love and laugh

xo,
kristin nicole

Written By: Kristin Nicole 09-29-09 – Tuesday

Thousands of words spoken
Could never really describe
Every moment spent with you
Through an angels eyes.

If I give you a thousand kisses
I could never convey
The amount of love I feel for you each and every day.

A thousand smiles in your direction
And you could never see
The million of smiles you give me when you look at me.

A thousand worlds combined
And in my heart you are mine
I never thought I would find a love like ours intertwined.

A thousand lives in our path
A million to come
But what I see in my heart
Is the love I once lost.
Now found through the light
Given a chance to shine bright
I look into your eyes and see what could be
Everything around me has me falling to my knees
Thanking the lord and the angels above
For giving me your love.

A thousand stars in the night and you only see one
That’s how I feel when I feel your love.
I never thought I find you in my life
Everything I look for and all the days of our lives.

Thousands of words spoken
Thousands of kisses to come
A thousand smiles in your direction
A thousand worlds found as one
A thousand lives in our path
A thousand stars in the night
No matter how many thousands
It will always feel right because you are the man of my dreams
The one I adore
The one I want to be with forever & more.

Written by: Kristin Nicole – Tuesday – April 10, 2007

This poem I wrote back in April of 2007, I was looking through some of the stuff I used to write and it reminds me how much I really love my boyfriend and how much I really love to write. Hope you enjoy it.

xo,
kristin nicole