Lifes many paths

Filed under: Kristin Nicole's Thoughts,Random Thoughts — Wrote by Kristin on Monday, October 10th, 2011 @ 5:00 am

Life

Do you ever look around you and see how many different people there are out there in the world. Ever wonder what each one is thinking? If the man driving next to you is a great guy or a murderer? You never know. You never truly know anyone because no matter how honest or how open a person is with you, everyone has secrets. I’m not saying there bad secrets just Secrets. A secret can be about anything, something sad that happened to you when you were younger that you just never shared with anyone. A feeling or a thought you had that you never thought sharing with someone would help. Secrets you hold within yourself, secrets that may keep you going stronger or secrets that tear you apart.

Secrets

Maybe you don’t think it’s a secret, because you don’t mind telling someone about it, you just never saw a reason to tell anyone about it. The smallest things in life change who you are. The biggest things in life, change your life, and the moments you think don’t matter, really do matter.

Hard Times

When something in life feels so hard and so sad, you think, this is it…am I ever going to be okay?! Somehow we are all stronger then we think and somehow we all keep living. Does this mean that we’ll eventually forget whatever it was that hurt us or made us sad or angry? I’m sorry to say NO, but it does get better with time. I know everyone says “things will get better with time”, but how much time? That is an answer only time can tell. It’s hard to hear, and it’s hard to go through, but these are the tribulations in our lives that make us stronger. These are the moments that you have to sit back on and think to yourself, what could have been different? Could it have been different? It was out of my control, so now how do I make things better?

Life Changes

Life is a mystery and no matter how many people try to figure it out, I don’t think you can. Every person, every life is Different. The way you look, the way you speak, smell, smile, laugh, talk, eat…. The list goes on and on. We are all different and that is what makes us unique. This is what separates us from others and makes you who you are.

In life you come to learn that it does truly pass you by. With a blink of an eye, you can loose the person you loved. In a second, life can change before you with out giving you warning and with time you learn to realize that this is LIFE.

Destiny

I sit back and wonder where my life will be in a few years, will it be where my hopes and dreams are, or will it take me down a different path. A path that unknowingly will be my destiny. We build roads but we choose the paths we walk on.

xo,
kristin nicole

Happy Birthday Mom

Filed under: Every Day Thoughts,Family,Kristin Nicole's Thoughts,Random Thoughts — Wrote by Kristin on Friday, October 7th, 2011 @ 5:00 am

Have you ever had a best friend in your life? A friend that isn’t just your friend but your mom? That’s how I feel about my mom…. If I have a problem with anything I know I can always count on her, I can only hope to be a great mother one day, the way she has been to me and my brother and sister.

I want to dedicate this poem to my mom… Happy Birthday Mom, I hope you are having a wonderful day; today and many more years to come.

Today Is your Day…

Today is the day I thank God
Not only for making you my mother
But for making you my Best Friend.

Today is the day I thank God
For having you in my life.
When I needed you the most you were always there for me.
When I thought my heart was breaking you cried with me.
When I thought I wasn’t good enough, you encouraged me.
When I thought life was too hard, you showed me the way.
Without you in my life I would be lost
You showed me to be me, you love me for me and you accept every part of me.

You are not only my best friend, but my mother
And I am the luckiest daughter in the world to have a mother like you in my life.

Today I thank God
Because without you I would be lost.
Happy Birthday Mom! I love you!

xo,
kristin nicole

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” -Washington Irving

Begging for money

Filed under: Every Day Thoughts,Kristin Nicole's Thoughts,Random Thoughts — Wrote by Kristin on Thursday, October 6th, 2011 @ 5:00 am
$$ Begging For Money $$

$$ Begging For Money $$

You see these men and women out on the streets begging for money, and don’t you wonder how it is they got there?

Walking the Streets

Each day I get to work, or leave work there is always someone on the corner light begging for money. I sit there sometimes and look at them, wondering only one question. How did you get here? What happened to your life that you ended up on the streets, scrounging for money, trying to get something to eat or drink?

This Morning

I was at the red light, almost to work, when a man asked the car next to me for money. I knew he was coming my way next. Sometimes I’m not sure if I should look to see if I have any money to give them, I think, they’ll probably end up using it for drugs or alcohol. (This is most likely the case). However, a part of me always feels so saddened of the man standing in front of my window just begging for money. Today, I looked around and I only had 50 cents, I told the man, I was sorry but this was all I had. He smiled and said, “God Bless you mame, I’m just trying to get some food, I’m really hungry”. I rolled up my window and just felt so sad for this man. As I look back in my rear-view mirror I see him going to another car. I look down at his feet, (for some reason I always look to see what kind of shoes the person is wearing). He looked like he had on a pair of Jordan’s, yellow on the side and fairly new. Now doesn’t this make you think? What is a man, with a pair of good shoes, doing on the streets, begging for money, if he can afford those shoes he’s wearing? The light turned green and I continued on my way to work, only wondering if the man truly needed money to eat, or for something else he thought might be a little more important? Either way, I still felt bad for him.

The greedy

When I worked in Down Town Miami, I was driving home, stuck at a red light again when a women was begging/asking for money. I rolled down my window and all I had was 25 cents. I knew it wasn’t much, but I thought to myself, “Any little bit counts, eventually it will add up”. She turned to me and looked me in the face and she had the audacity to tell me, ” THIS IS IT? That’s all you’re giving me”? I turned with rage in my voice, I said, EXCUSE ME? You should be grateful that I gave you anything, and you should be grateful to any person who gives you whatever they may have. She turned and apologized, but I just rolled my window back up in disbelief. A poor women on the streets, clearly not right in the mind, dressed with rags, hair all over the place, had the nerve to say that what I was giving her wasn’t good enough for her? I took a deep breath and realized that this women wasn’t right in the head, and I shouldn’t get upset. I just couldn’t believe that a poor women was being picky with what a person was giving her. Comes to show you, that even the poor aren’t appreciative sometimes.

More Thoughts…

Life is a mystery, and no matter how much I try to comprehend some of the things in life, I learn each time that sometimes, there are really no TRUE Answers, No real answers to tell you how it works, or what to do. Sometimes I wonder if that bum in the corner has a family? What happened to their life that they got to this corner on the street that I’m at right now? Answers we’ll never know, but some of us continue to try and help.

Do you have a story to tell about a person you met in the streets? Let me know, I would love to share it with others.

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~Theodore Roosevelt

xo,
kristin nicole

At age 33, Andrea Torres deals with Breast Cancer

Filed under: Daily News,Every Day Thoughts,Family,Friendship,Kristin Nicole's Thoughts,Random Thoughts — Wrote by Kristin on Wednesday, October 5th, 2011 @ 6:49 am

Andrea Torres

Who is Andrea Torres:

Andrea Torres writes for the Miami Herald. I was talking with my best friend when she told me about Andrea, she is an old friend of her husbands and Andrea just found out that she has breast cancer. I tried to process this thought, and although I don’t know Andrea personally her story touched me. Cancer makes you think, it makes you wonder things you didn’t wonder about before. As I read stories on line and get to know people online, I see Cancer everywhere. It’s sad and it’s confusing to most. We wonder why such a horrible disease can reach such good people. I read Andrea’s story and I wanted to know more, I told my friend that I felt her story was incomplete, I felt like I wanted to get to know her better so I thought I would share her story with you.

At age 33, I’m dealing with breast cancer:

By Andrea Torres
atorres@miamiherald.com

The nightmare began when I found a lump in my left breast. I first felt it when I turned in bed. I woke up the next morning and rode four miles on my bicycle. I was in good health, and was convinced it would go away after my period.

It didn’t.

“It’s a thick fibrous mass with a cottage cheese texture. It seems to be expanding,” I said to an ultrasound technician at the Diagnosis Center for Women in South Miami. I was there for my first mammogram.

The technician moved a roller connected to a sonogram back and forth over my breast. She was staring at black-and-gray deformed spheres on a screen. Her silence was painful.

“I am so sorry. I will be right back,” she said.

I thought about death. My maternal grandparents had just died at the end of last year. My poor mom, I thought: How was I going to tell her?

The technician returned to the room with the center’s director of breast imaging, Dr. Carrie Horst. They both stared at the screen. This time, Horst was holding the roller.

“I am not going to sugarcoat this. I think this is breast cancer,” Horst said. “We need to schedule a biopsy.”

The ultrasound technician tried to comfort me when Horst left the room. “These are the days when I hate my job,” she said, while she hugged me goodbye. I didn’t tell my mom I knew it was cancer. I told her it was a possibility. She still cried.

Horst called me a few days later after the biopsy confirmed her suspicion. I learned that at 33, I was not too young for breast cancer.

Horst sent me to Mercy Hospital to meet Dr. Tihesha Wilson, a surgical oncologist. She explained that the pathology report revealed I had infiltrating ductal carcinoma. There were two tumors and “several smaller masses present in a satellite configuration” — about 3.5 inches in total.

“It’s going to be a tough year,” Wilson said. “You have to stay positive, and know that you are going to survive this. Many women have.”

She explained the course of treatment. It would feel like torture in a remote prison. She handed me a tissue box. I didn’t cry. I was numb. She gave me a hug.

After a PET-CT scan and an MRI, I visited Baptist Hospital’s Dr. Robert DerHagopian for a second opinion. He said a lymph node, which tested positive for metastatic carcinoma, would place my case at a stage 3a. The highest stage (4) compromises other organs.

“You’re going to be OK,’’ he said, as he hugged me goodbye.

I knew what cancer patients looked like. My long black hair was going to fall out, so I decided to get it cut. It was nearly down to my waist. It was the prettiest it had ever been — thick, beautiful and shiny. The thought that it would make a good wig for a little girl or a teen after I donated it to Locks of Love gave me strength, even though I knew that the organization sells some of the donated hair to cover costs.

A friend cut off my ponytail, before Carolyn Duffy, of Nue Studios in Wynwood, sculpted a cut that made me feel like I had been made for short hair.

“I can’t hide behind my hair anymore,” I said, as I left the hair salon looking like Tinkerbell.

“There is no reason for you to hide,” said Duffy, who gave me a hug.

It wasn’t until I was seated in the passenger seat of my brother’s car at a South Beach stoplight that reality hit. It had usually been shoes that caught my eye, but now I was staring at an aqua-and-black fedora. The woman wearing it waved and smiled. I didn’t want to be rude, so I waved back thinking she had mistaken me for somebody else.

What followed was painful. I heard her say, as she crossed the dark street, “I thought it was a guy.” Her friends laughed at her.

No one had ever questioned my femininity. Women had stared at me, because they liked my shoes, or my clothes caught their attention. Never because they thought I was a man. I got out of the car and speed-walked toward the beach.

I crossed streets recklessly, tears rolling down my face. On Collins Avenue, I stopped a woman with a shaved head. I explained my situation and asked her about hers.

“I shave it for fun. It’s my look,” said Muriel Amisodar, 40, who hails from Canada. “Without hair, my face is always glowing.”

She exuded confidence.

“You be proud of your beauty when the hair falls,” Amisodar said, before hugging me goodbye.

I promised I would try.

Read more: MiamiHerald.com

My Thoughts:

A person who can write about her disease is a strong person, I have faith that Andrea will get through this. In life we sometimes don’t understand why things happen to us, we can only surpass it and keep living and moving forward.

My prayers are with you Andrea, stay strong and keep writing.

xo,
kristin nicole

You can see Andrea’s story HERE

I have no self esteem left with men and don’t know how to get any?

Filed under: Ask Kristin Nicole,Every Day Thoughts,Kristin Nicole's Thoughts,Random Thoughts,Relationships — Wrote by Kristin on Thursday, September 22nd, 2011 @ 5:00 am

The Question:

I spent four years living with a guy who started off wonderfully but cheated on me constantly because he said I wasn’t good looking enough (but I had a ‘beautiful personality’) and then left one day and never spoke to me again. He stabbed his next girlfriend while high. Then I didn’t date for ten years as I traveled instead. I met a guy who was shy, humble, sweet and kind – he tried to con me out of money and told me how ugly I am. He wouldn’t touch me during sex. I just feel all out of self esteem. Men look at me in the street, but I’m scared to let another man near me. Both started off so wonderfully sweet. None of my friends guessed their true colors. How can I get some self esteem?

My Response:

Dear Self-Esteem;

Self Esteem is something you have to learn, you need to be confident in yourself. Lets start off with your first relationship, the moment he cheated on you, that should have been a clear indication to ‘GET OUT’, then when he told you that you were not good looking but had a “beautiful personality” that should have been a hint that he was just not that into you and that he clearly didn’t love you. Thank the heavens that he never spoke to you again, you could have been the next girlfriend that was stabbed while he was high, this guy was obviously a LOOSER!! You didn’t date for 10 years because you traveled, Okay…traveling is absolutely fabulous but you could have dated a foreign guy here and there just to spice things up, but whats done is done and now we go onto Boyfriend #2…. He was shy, humble, sweet and kind you say but he tried to “CON” YOU OUT OF MONEY, and he told you that you were ugly??? Okay did he tell you were ugly first or did he try to Con you out of money first, either way these were clear signs that he was no good. Most con guys will act shy and sweet at first this is how they get you to believe they are nice guys, don’t blame yourself, that is why they are called “CON ARTISTS”, this can happen to anyone, unfortunately because you didn’t have a relationship for a long time and the one relationship you did have was a verbally abusive one you already probably showed signs of insecurity. Have faith in yourself, if you don’t believe in yourself no one else will. I know it is easier said than done, believe me, I used to be very insecure, I always felt all my girlfriends were much more prettier than I was, and I was too skinny and my legs were ugly and well you get my drift. However, I was always strong in my personality, I would never let a man put me down, if I thought those stuff about myself I sure didn’t need someone else thinking them about me too, I needed a man who would compliment me and love me for me. I went through a few relationships until I found someone who I can be myself around with. There are plenty of guys out there, don’t give up. Don’t worry about what men think and just worry about what you think about yourself. I learned that I was skinny but a lot of guys liked that, and I grew into my awkwardness and realized I was pretty hot ;)

Be strong, don’t ever let a man put you down, the minute they do, that’s a clear sign to “GET OUT”! Don’t give up though, there is always someone out there for someone.

xo
kristin nicole

Do you think it is overrated to save your virginity until marriage?

Filed under: Ask Kristin Nicole,Every Day Thoughts,Family,Kristin Nicole's Thoughts,Random Thoughts,Relationships — Wrote by Kristin on Monday, September 19th, 2011 @ 5:00 am

The Question:

Do you think it is overrated to save your virginity until marriage?
Ii just want some honest input, if you’re not mature enough to answer than don’t. Since I’m asking for your input I guess I can give you mine. “I am 19 years old and in college and a virgin. I’m wondering if its just a silly pipe dream that I will find a girl who has the same morals as I do? It is not easy keeping it and honestly I kind of forget why I am sometimes. Any thoughts?

My Response:

Dear Wanting to wait;

I do not think it is overrated and I do think it is sweet, and it is hard very hard. Now a day’s a lot of girls and a lot of guys do not wait for marriage, but if this is something you truly believe in then I think you should stick with it. Perhaps join a church group, you might be able to find a girl that is still “pure” there rather than frat parties in college ;-) You might also find other guys that have the same morals as you do and it may make it easier to hang out with them then other 19 year old guys who are only looking to party and have sex. You are still young and you still have time to decide, but do not let others tell you that it is overrated or that you shouldn’t wait until marriage. If this is how you feel, I say go for it. Good luck.

xo
kristin nicole

Happy Birthday!

Filed under: Every Day Thoughts,Kristin Nicole's Thoughts,Poetry,Random Thoughts,Relationships — Wrote by Kristin on Wednesday, August 31st, 2011 @ 5:00 am

Happy Birthday

Today is the day you were born
Today is the day I give thanks to the lord
Without you here, you wouldn’t be part of my world.

My world changed the day you came into my life
With every wish I wished upon a star
that one day I would find love
love found me a million miles away

Love entered my heart when I thought it was gone
you showed me the light,
you showed me the way,
if it wasn’t for you
my world would have gone astray.

Today is your birthday
and I wish you the world
I know that good things are coming your way
with every wish I make
with every breath I take
I know deep down that from here on out
only good things will come our way.

Happy Birthday to the man I love
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday

I love you…..

xo,
kristin nicole

~Written By: Kristin Nicole August 23, 2011 – Monday~

Happy Birthday to a wonderful boyfriend, I hope you are enjoying our trip. I love you

Why Doesn’t my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

Filed under: Ask Kristin Nicole,Kristin Nicole's Thoughts,Random Thoughts,Relationships — Wrote by Kristin on Monday, August 8th, 2011 @ 5:00 am

The Question:

We’ve been dating for over a year now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased, at first it started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it’s been a month and a half since we’ve had sex. I’ve read a few articles about this already, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem but he told me it wasn’t and I know he wouldn’t lie to me. I’ve asked him about it but he says there’s nothing wrong. I just don’t know what to do anymore. He’s only a year older than me and he’s suppose to be in his prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven’t pressured him or anything because I don’t want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to, and I’m just not satisfied anymore and I’m not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. As far as I know there’s nothing he’s stressed about at work or school, could it be a combination of the 2? or something else going on that I don’t know about? And please keep in mind that I am searching for help and advice and I don’t want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and I’m not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore, but it’s frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does, and I don’t really want to talk to any of my friends about it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don’t need everyone talking about it, and the last thing I want him to feel is embarrassed. I haven’t told anyone of my friends but I’m in need of some advice. Any Ideas?

My response:

Dear no sex;

Unfortunately we cannot read the minds of a man, and the only way to get answers is asking him. I know you asked him and he said everything was fine, but it obviously isn’t fine. Don’t feel ashamed to push a little, I know you said you don’t want him to have sex with you just to shut you up, tell him that, tell him you want him to want to have sex with you. You have needs too, and just like women, even if he isn’t in the mood, he needs to give it up sometimes. Sex is a very big thing in relationships, so I know you love him and you aren’t going to leave him, that you rather live without sex, well I’m sorry but this will eventually put a damp on your relationship. You need sex in a relationship it’s one of the many ways you show the attraction towards each other, the love that you two still share, without it, it can definitely cause problems. Open up to him, try coming on to him, put on a lingerie and call him into the bedroom. (Have you tried any of these things?) I know for a women, him not wanting to have sex is like a rejection because we don’t expect men to not want to have sex, but this is normal in some men, the stress from work or school like you stated could be a reason why he’s so pre-occupied with working late in the office and falling asleep in the office. This isn’t healthy for your relationship though, and you need to talk to him about this. I don’t want to say he’s having an affair, but sometimes this is the case in a man not wanting to have sex anymore with his girlfriend or wife. This could be far from the case, I am not sure how your relationship works and if he’s away from home a lot or not, I just have to put that out there as a result to him not wanting to have sex with you. As I stated though, there can be many more reasons other then an affair. If you want your relationship to work you need to communicate, that is the biggest step in trying to figure out what is wrong and getting back a little sex in your life.

So lets review:

1. Talk to him (Don’t be afraid that he’ll just have sex to shut you up). He needs to know how you feel.
2. Dress up, come on to him, don’t sit around waiting for him to come to you.
3. If all else fails… Communicate! (SEX is very important in a relationship). Don’t hold back, you deserve someone who will fulfill your needs.

Good luck…

xo,
kristin nicole

This was an old post I found on Answers.Yahoo.com

A poor man’s sign for help

Filed under: Every Day Thoughts,Kristin Nicole's Thoughts,Random Thoughts — Wrote by Kristin on Thursday, August 4th, 2011 @ 5:00 am

Yesterday I was driving home, and if you live in Miami and have ever been to 57th and US-1 You know there is usually a poor man standing there with a sign asking for money. This man yesterday had a sign that read: ” Please help children in need, they need food too”. Now I was thinking…. Should I give this guy money even though he is obviously putting it out there that he’s lying and using children as an excuse, even worse….

My thoughts:

So I thought to myself would people be willing to give a guy money who’s sign read ” Please help children in need, they need food too” vs. “Please help, need money for food, drinks and drugs”. Or whatever he actually needs the money for? So I sat there thinking for a second or two and I think I rather give money to the guy who’s honest. Even if it is for some alcohol. At least I know he’s being honest. BUT What do you think? What would you do??

xo,
kristin nicole

My friend had sex with her brother…

Filed under: Ask Kristin Nicole,Every Day Thoughts,Friendship,Random Thoughts,Relationships — Wrote by Kristin on Monday, August 1st, 2011 @ 5:00 am

The Question:

Parents what would you do if your son, and daughter had sex? Just wondering?
I know a friend of mine who had sex with her brother she told me, and I want to know if I were to tell, what parents would do in general in that kind of situation?

My response:

Dear Teen with a big secret;

I am not a parent but I am an older sister to my 16 year old sister. It is a scary thought that your kids may be having sex and to find out that they are I couldn’t imagine. BUT…. Yes…But…..it is going to happen one day. I don’t agree with having sex at such a young age and I do think that you really need to think about it before doing it. Most boys just want to have sex and nothing more, and the minute the girl gives it up the boy is gone. I know this happened to a lot of my friends in high school. If you are a parent that just found out your son or daughter is having sex or had sex, the only thing you can do is try to NOT to overreact. Try to talk to them about all the consequences, like diseases and about teen pregnancy. If you have a boy buy him condemns and explain to him about all the things that can happen along with respecting girls. If you have a girl, I think it is a lot harder, you can either get her on birth-control (Most parents think this is just giving the OKAY to have sex) but it’s better than the alternative…(Pregnancy), and you need to talk to her and explain all the the bad stuff that can come with having sex at such a young age. In the situation that your friend had sex with her own brother, that is just plain WRONG! That is incest and it can be that the brother raped her or molested her. If she had sex with her own brother willingly, that is wrong on all levels and either way they need help. In that situation I am not sure what the parents would do, they need to talk to both of them and find out exactly what happened and why. They will then need to have a lot of counseling. This is not normal and I hope your friend knows this. I hope she can get the help she needs and I hope her parents are strong enough to deal with something like this. Good luck….

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

© SoapNights / Kristin Nicole