How do I express myself?

Express yourself. image by: google.com/images

Expressing yourself can sometimes be hard. If you are angry do you tell the person you are fighting with what you feel right then and there? Or should you wait until you cool off and have a more focused mind set? Sometimes letting it out in the moment allows you to really tell the person how you feel but sometimes it’s better to cool off and talk calmly with each other in order to avoid words you may regret later.

Sometimes there comes a time when you argue with your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, or friend, and sometimes you get so angry you can’t express your feelings. In my case I try to talk in the moment but if I get too frustrated I close myself off because I can’t fathom having a conversation with that person. When I try to say what I am thinking sometimes I over think my thoughts and I end up stoping my self, leaving myself with no words to say.

Why do we do this? Why is it so hard for women and men to say what they feel? Are we afraid of what the other person might say? SOMETIMES, For me that is the case. I’m afraid to get into a bigger argument when I just want them to understand what I am feeling, but that doesn’t always work.

So I find it easier to express myself sometimes through email, letters or text. I know this shouldn’t be the solution but sometimes it’s the only way to get what I feel out in the open. It’s better to get it out one way than not at all. Right?!?

In my letter I try to really go into details on what I feel but you still want to make sure you aren’t crossing the line somewhere. Sometimes in letters the person reading it may interpret your words differently and you don’t want to hurt the person’s feelings, unless taht is your intentions of course.

I found a website that talks about relationships and communication, and I truly believe that communication is the KEY to a healthy and long relationship. You can’t hold things inside because in the end you will only blow up, and that isn’t good for either one of you. This website tries to help MEN communicate better. For those men who have problems communicating check this website out and click HERE.

Even though the website indicates how to communicate more for men towards women, I think it’s good for women to read it as well. Some of women might be a little more like men then we think. Open up to your other half and tell them how you feel, but don’t attack them with your words, just tell them that you only want them to know how you are feeling and what can “we” do to fix it.

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. ~Henry Winkler.

xo
kristin nicole

Self Esteem

Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem has been an issue for many people through out the years. As individuals there are flaws we seek out from our selves that make us feel insecure and unhappy. Some self-esteem issues can cause psychological disorders, from a young age a child who does not experience the opportunity to differentiate themselves, and lack the opportunity to idealize others while taking pride in themselves, may later suffer from a disorder called narcissistic personality, this is a result from self-esteem issues. “The narcissistic personality is characterized by a grandiose and exaggerated sense of self-importance and an exploitive attitude towards others, which serve the function of masking a frail self-concept.” (Corey, 2009). Self-esteem issues can result in problems later on in your personal relationships. The National Association for Self-Esteem web site is very interesting. It gives different concepts and explanations on helping a person to improve their self-esteem.

What is self-esteem? According to the National Association for Self-Esteem, self-esteem is thought of as a person whom trusts in his or her own being to life affirming, constructive, responsible and trustworthy views. A word many people use trying to describe self-esteem is a feeling of feeling good about yourself, or having positive feelings about oneself. Unfortunately many people suffer from having low self-esteem. Some people have even gone to state that self-esteem is equivalent with egotism, arrogance, conceit, narcissism, a sense of superiority and, a trait leading to violence. People with low self-esteem tend to try to prove themselves to others. They use others for their own gain, to make themselves feel better about their lives. Many people who suffer from the lack of self-esteem lack self confidence in themselves, they have doubts about their worth and acceptability, and usually are reluctant to take risks or expose themselves to failure. Those who suffer from low self-esteem tend to blame others for the lack of shortcomings rather than take responsibility for their own actions.

Feelings of insecurity can lead to psychological issues, such as discussed earlier like narcissism and other types of disorders like depression. There are ways to try and build your self-esteem, to try and make your life positive and grow from the feelings of insecurities to feelings of self worth and positive attributes. On the website they have a Building Positive Self Esteem section where it has a Self Esteem Lesson Plan Improving Self Esteem in Adults. This plan has a step-by-step plan to help those with low self-esteem. Building self-esteem is building a positive attribute that the person needs to learn how to build inside him or herself. Self-Esteem is not based on the things you have in life, like your house, car, school, relationships, money etc, it is based on how a person feels about themselves. According to the website positive self esteem is meeting life’s challenges and not feeling victimized, taking responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions, and making conscious choices to support and care for yourself.

Each lesson plan takes you through a journey into learning yourself and accepting yourself. Lesson one is to read about how the brain works, this helps a person learn and recognize behavioral thoughts and patterns; you can change these patterns and habits if you can recognize them. Lesson two, you discover what you believe about yourself and you make the decision on your own to change to a healthy self-esteem. Lesson three is to learn how to meditate and use relaxation techniques to allow your self to experience feeling calm, peaceful, confident, and loving self. Developing meditation practices is one of the most powerful ways a person can find inner peace within themselves, this is important to feel positive about yourself and your life. Lesson four is to learn how to respect, care for and love yourself. You cannot have a healthy self-esteem if you do not have respect for the one person who will take care of you, this person is you. Lesson five is to focus on your choices in life. When a person has low self-esteem you sometimes feel like you have no choice but to do certain things, when you have a healthy self-esteem you learn that you can make whatever choices you have to overcome in life. Lesson six teaches you how to have direction in your life. What you decide in life is up to you. Lesson seven is about visualization. Tapping into your imagination is an important tool into reaching and changing your behavior. Lesson eight teaches you to tap into an invisible energy force, this force includes higher power, spirit, God, universal love, super conscious and intuitive or higher self. Lesson nine summarizes the important components into taking responsibility and overcoming low self-esteem. The last lesson, lesson ten offers an additional lesson plan that some can learn to use in ever day life.

In life we all have insecurities, we have to learn to not allow them to take over, you cannot allow them to make you feel bad about yourself and have low self-esteem. These techniques can help any type of psychological disorder improve. If person feels depressed due to low self-esteem you need to learn to feel good about yourself, once a person feels better about himself or herself they no longer feel the feelings of depression or narcissism. Boosting your self-esteem is also part of one of the programs they have on the website. Use affirmations to boost your-esteem, they say to carry a saying around with a positive thought about yourself, for example; ‘I am somebody, I love myself, I believe in myself.’ Associate with positive, supportive people. When we surround ourselves with positive people it encourages us to be positive and think good about our selves, if we surround ourselves with negative people it tends to bring you down and only bring negative vibes into your life. Make a list of your past successes, this doesn’t have to only have monumental accomplishments; it can include small victories that you have accomplished throughout your life. The list goes on, stop comparing yourself to others, stop putting yourself down, take advantage of self esteem programs and make a list of your positive qualities. Every morning you should meditate and visualize your day, read inspirational texts and start your day off on a powerful positive start. Communication is key and in like any friendship, relationship or work related aspect it’s important to communicate positively and hang around positive people.
The National Association for Self Esteem website is a great website to go to if you are feeling insecure about yourself and your life. Self Esteem is important, it determines certain psychological disorders and it can determine how you live your life. Take time to take care of yourself and feel good about yourself. If you do not respect and love yourself it will be very difficult to carry on any type of relationship in your future. Life is never easy, and we are all dealt with negativity in our lives, it is how we believe in ourselves and how we choose the outcomes in our lives that determine our future.

References

Corey, G. (2009). Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy (8th ed.) Belmont, CA: Thomas Brooks/Cole.
National Association for Self Esteem (2010). Self-Esteem Booster. Retrieved January 14, 2012 from: http://www.self-esteem-nase.org/booster.php
National Association for Self Esteem (2010). Self-Esteem Lesson Plan Imporiving Self Esteem in Adults. Retrieved January 14, 2012 from: http://www.self-esteem-nase.org/self-esteem-lesson-plan.php
National Association for Self Esteem (2010). What is Self-Esteem? Retrieved January 14, 2012 from: http://www.self-esteem-nase.org/what.php

You’re my kind of Perfect

Hello – Anyone out there reading my posts? Sadly no one entered a poem to be featured in today’s post, so I guess I will have to put one of my OLDER Poems…… I wrote this and tweaked it a little to sound a little better. If you are reading… Let me know what you think.

Random Thoughts…

Have you ever just realized that the person you are with isn’t perfect, but with all the flaws and all the differences you have you know deep down that this person is for you, that He or She is your kind of Perfect? I grew up and realized that no one is perfect, but that is what makes us all unique, and in the end there is always that one person who fits perfectly together with you. This was dedicated to my boyfriend…

You’re my kind of Perfect

When I found you I didn’t know you would be the one
When you found me we were just having fun
Then out of nowhere we fell in love.

I never thought you were perfect but to me you shine that light
When I’m in the dark you make everything alright.
When we kissed I felt the summer breeze.
When our eyes met I knew deep down that now I can finally breathe.

When I met you I was lost,
I didn’t think love really existed,
But I opened up my heart to you,
I let you see the me no one sees,
And when you looked at me I knew
I had to let you in my world,
Because without you, I just wouldn’t be me.

Through the years you’ve been my strength
My best friend through it all
And even though we aren’t perfect
You’re my kind of Perfect
You’re my kind of Love…

xo,
kristin nicole

© Written By: kristin nicole June 2, 2011 Edited: March 2,2012

Stop being so blind…

Stop being so blind…

Can’t you see the truth
Why must you be so blind?
I guess at this age we just like to hide.

I don’t know what to tell you
What to say or what to do
I wish you can see when it’s just not meant to be.

Love is blind
the heart doesn’t want to see with the mind
Open your eyes and see the truth
that in the end he/she will only hurt you.

Sometimes I see you and it makes me so sick
to see someone with such a looser
it’s a waste of a breath.

In the end you’ll see the light
In the end you’ll understand
that what I want for you is only the best.

Stop being so blind, and open your eyes
Start seeing the truth that is right in front of you.

© Written By: Kristin Nicole – 04/26/11 – Tuesday

xo,
kristin nicole

~Written a long time ago for a friend stuck in a bad relationship. Thankfully she was able to realize that he was no good for her, and she is now with someone she loves very much and who loves her back.

Life gets BUSY….

Life gets BUSY….

So lately I’ve been slacking on Soapnights, there really is no excuse but I just have been feeling very overwhelmed with work, school and my new house.

Renovating a new house with my boyfriend has taken much more of our time then ever expected. Although we are absolutely loving it and it’s coming out beautiful, it’s a lot of work, time and money.

Happy New Years By the way…..

This year we took a trip for new years to a small town called Blairsville, Georgia. It’s a beautiful little town, and getting away from life for a while helped me relax a bit before starting the new year.

In life we sometimes get so busy we forget to stop and smell the roses ‘so to speak’. I’ve been so busy lately that with a blink of an eye it’s already 2012! When did life start passing me by? I have so much left to do before I turn 30 and this year is going to be my year.

Let’s start off with what I will accomplish before the end of the year:

Bachelors Degree in Psychology by June
Starting Masters in Journalism
Finish Remodeling my house ~ At least in the inside…
And…. A few things I won’t say because I don’t want to jinx them ;)

That’s not such a long list, now is it?

Ever wonder what you will accomplish before your 30? 40? 50? I really don’t, I live in the moment and I try to focus on what is right in front of me at the moment, but getting older I do start to wonder and think about all the things I should have done by now that I’m still working on. So although this year is going to be busy I am going to make it an effort to write more on my site and if you have any questions or concerns you need advice on, I’m only an email away.

As for today. Happy Friday the 13th!!! Let’s start this weekend out with a SMILE~

xo
kristin nicole

I’m pregnant and my husband doesn’t come home…

The Question:

Dear kristin nicole;

I have read some on the stories and comments you gave to other women, and I’m in the same kind of boat and I don’t know what to believe or do. So here is my story please help.

Me and my husband have been married for 9 months, still newlyweds but have lots of problems. We or I should say I did rush into due to a baby on the way and I loved him and he loved me. So we got married. It was great we were happy. He has a kid from a previous relationship and I do to, but he was great with my daughter, I mean great. That’s her daddy, and especially since her father is out of the picture. We lost the baby I was pregnant with 2 weeks after the wedding. We were both sad. We both want a baby and have been trying since then, but we argue all the time. He says he has no say so in anything the house, my daughter nothing. I just disagree on something and he doesn’t understand. The arguing has got bad over little things. So much that his son doesn’t want to come here anymore. We are both tired of it, he’s even said he wanted a divorce. So to my big problem I found out in November we where pregnant I was so excited because we had been trying and praying, but he didn’t seem too happy. We started arguing about baby names he started saying he had no say in this either, that I’m always downing him and acting different with his son, which is not true. I speak my opinion and I disagree. I do agree I am different with his son and my daughter and I’m sorry for that. For the last past two weeks its been hell fighting all the time. He was getting laid off from his job and I tried talking to him, it wasn’t good enough. He said I act as if I could care less, but I tried talk to him so two weeks ago after a fight about me not caring he left for work and hasn’t come back. His story is he has a new job and there working out of town, he will be home this day. When they day comes its something else his car broke he cant make it. I’ve accused him of cheating being with someone else and he said he’s not with anyone else that he is just working and that he is tired of me accusing him all the time. When I try to talk to him about what I feel and I love him, he avoids my questions or when I ask when are you coming home he gives me a day and it never happens. He wasn’t even here for Christmas and that made me really mad and I went off on him and told him to just come get his stuff I wanted a divorce because I cant take his lying and him not begin here especially with me three months pregnant with his baby, it hurt bad and I don’t know what to. I love him and I want us to be a family, my daughter loves him and miss I him. I don’t believe he’s working out of town. He said he was working today but he always has his son and he told me he was taking him to work with him. That’s BS because you don’t take a 5 year old to your so called new job especially when you say you are building apts. He came home Thursday wanting sex and got some more clothes said he would be back Saturday and like always he came up with an excuse. I do not know what to do. I need help… why would he just walk away after knocking me up and after me telling him we can work on this, that we have a baby on the way and that I don’t want to go down this road. He accuses me of sleeping with people but I love him to much to do that. Bills are behind because of his actions and I just need some advice. Please I don’t want to lose him.

~Desperate

My Response:

Dear Desperate;

Sometimes men get scared, and having a child together is a big deal. He may be feeling confused since you have been arguing lately. Try sitting down with him and talking to him. Explain to him how you feel, that you love him and you don’t want to be arguing all the time. You want to make sure he is happy in your marriage. You can try telling him how you feel but if he’s not willing to try, there is nothing you can do. The fact that you are suspicious of him cheating on you and that he doesn’t show up sometimes is not a good sign. You need to try and think of you and your baby at this point, is this type of relationship you want to show your child? Is the type of man you truly want for yourself? I know it’s not easy and you are definitely in a hard position but you have to think about your unborn child now. The most important thing to do is to take care of yourself. If you have family you can stay with, try getting your bills paid and try making a life for you and your child. It sounds to me like you can do better then this guy…. If he was a real man he would stand up and try to make things work with you. If he truly loves you he will at least TRY to make it work.

I hope I could help. I hope your New Year gets better in time.

xo,
kristin nicole

Saturday Morning Breakfast for Two

I got inspired by a recipe in Barefoot Contessa’s cook book. It’s called Omelet for two.

Ingredients

* 1/4 pound good thick-cut bacon
* 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
* 1 cup medium-diced Yukon gold potato
* 1/2 cup chopped yellow onion
* 1 tablespoon minced jalapeno pepper
* 5 extra-large eggs
* 2 tablespoons milk or cream
* 1 teaspoon kosher salt
* 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
* 1/4 cup chopped scallions, white and green parts
* 4 ounces extra-sharp Cheddar, diced, plus extra grated cheese, for garnish

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Cut the bacon crosswise in 1-inch slices. Cook the bacon in an 8-inch ovenproof saute pan over medium-low heat for 5 to 7 minutes, stirring occasionally, until browned. Drain the bacon on paper towels and discard the fat from the pan. Add the butter to the pan, and then add the potato and yellow onion. Cook over medium-low heat for about 10 minutes, tossing occasionally, until the onion starts to brown and the potato is tender but firm. Add the jalapeno pepper and cook for 30 seconds.

Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, beat the eggs, milk, salt, and pepper together with a fork. Stir in the scallions and diced Cheddar. When the potato is cooked, add the bacon to the pan and pour over the egg mixture. Place the pan in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes, until the omelet puffs and the eggs are almost cooked in the center. Sprinkle with a handful of grated Cheddar and bake for another minute. Serve hot directly from the pan. (to see her recipe click on link foodnetwork.com-ina-garten )

My recipe:

Ingredients:

* 1/4 pound good thick-cut turkey bacon
* 1/2 cup of chorizo
* 1 tablespoon salted butter
* 1 cup medium-diced Red potato
* 1/2 cup chopped Red onion
* 6 large eggs
* 2 tablespoons fat free milk
* 1 teaspoon kosher salt
* 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
* 1/4 cup chopped curly parsley, & 1 twig of Rosemary
* 2 to 3 handfuls of mozzarella cheese, plus extra mozzarella and one palm full of Mexican mixed cheese, for garnish

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Cut the bacon in 1-inch slices. Cook the bacon in an 8-inch ovenproof saute pan over medium-low heat (If you use Turkey Bacon like I do, spray the pan with Pam first because the turkey bacon tends to stick to the bottom of the pan) for 5 to 7 minutes, stirring occasionally, until browned. Drain the bacon on paper towels and discard the fat from the pan. Add the butter to the pan, and then add the potato and red onion. Cook over medium-low heat for about 10 minutes, tossing occasionally, until the onion starts to brown and the potato is tender but firm. Add the Chorizo for about 2-4 minutes.

Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, beat the eggs, milk, salt, and pepper together with a fork. Stir in the parsley and rosemary along with the mozzarella cheese. When the potato is cooked, add the bacon to the pan and pour over the egg mixture. Place the pan in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes, until the omelet puffs and the eggs are almost cooked in the center. Sprinkle with a handful of grated Mexican mixed cheese and mozzarella cheese and bake for another minute.(Depending how much cheese you like). Serve hot directly from the pan.

Yummmm

Boy was this dish DELISH! I couldn’t believe how my inspiration for cooking this dish came from stuff I had at home mixed with Barefoot Contessa’s recipe. I definitely want to try Ida’s recipe, but I wouldn’t mind doing mine again either. I might even try a healthier version next weekend. Hope you enjoy, it’s a must try recipe. By the way, it says Omelet for Two but this is more for about 3 people. I only ate half of my slice.

xo,
kristin nicole

Saturday Night Dinner Recipes

Saturday night I decided to try a few recipes from my oh so favorite, foodnetwork.com

Shopping:

For the appetizer I decided to go for the Spinach and Artichoke Dip. First let me start off by saying Frozen Artichokes are hard to come by. I first started my shopping at Whole Foods, and they didn’t have any, so we headed to WinnDixie where I didn’t find them there either, so off to Publix, because Publix has to have them right? Ehhhh WRONG! They didn’t have them either, so as I ask people no one tells me that they come in a can, and I didn’t find this out until later when my boyfriends mom told us about it. So I bought baby artichokes because I couldn’t even find just one regular sized artichoke at Publix. I get home and find out that cooking this thing is going to take about 25-45 minutes. So we opted to return it and try buying the artichokes in a can at another Publix. While I was there, I decided to try and see if they had the frozen ones, and to my surprise, they did! YEAH for me, I can do the recipe as follows. So off to my house to start my first course.

BTW:

My other recipes included my Main Dish – Rib-Eye Steak with Black Olive Vinaigrette and for my side dish, Roasted Tomatoes with Garlic, Gorgonzola and Herbs. They ask for Roma Tomatoes but I couldn’t find those either in Whole Foods, so thanks to the help of one of their employee’s I found out that Roma Tomatoes is the same as a Plum Tomato which they did have. Don’t worry folks, I didn’t just take his word, my boyfriend looked it up on the iPhone and found the same thing. And just in case you are ever wondering, Red Pepper Flakes is the same as Chili Pepper Flakes. (Another item I couldn’t find). So on to the recipes…

Hot Spinach and Artichoke Dip:

Ingredients

* 1 cup thawed, chopped frozen spinach
* 11/2 cups thawed, chopped frozen artichoke hearts
* 6 ounces cream cheese
* 1/4 cup sour cream
* 1/4 cup mayonnaise
* 1/3 cup grated Parmesan
* 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

Directions

Boil spinach and artichokes in 1 cup of water until tender and drain. Discard liquid. Heat cream cheese in microwave for 1 minute or until hot and soft. Stir in rest of ingredients and serve hot. — Recipe courtesy Alton Brown (if you want to see the recipe click on link foodnetwork.com )

I followed the directions to a tee, and it did come out a little creamier then I thought, so if you don’t like too much cream cut the portions I say a 1/4 or 1/2 of what they ask. However, at first I wasn’t sure because it looked so creamy, but I have to admit, it came out DELISH! I added a few pitta chips on the side and get ready to dig in.

Main Dish – Rib-Eye Steak with Black Olive Vinaigrette:

Ingredients
Rib-eye Steak:

* 1 2-inch rib-eye steak, boneless
* 1 tablespoons olive oil
* 1 tablespoon herbes de Provence
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Black Olive Vinaigrette:

* 1/2 cup black olives, pitted
* 3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
* 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
* 1 garlic clove
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
* 6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
* 6 tablespoons vegetable oil
* 2 tablespoons chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

Directions

For the Rib-eye: Preheat your grill pan on medium high heat. Coat the beef with olive oil and sprinkle with the Herbs de Provence, salt, and pepper. Cook for 6 to 8 minutes a side until the meat is medium-rare, remove from heat, and allow to rest.

For the Black Olive Vinaigrette: Combine the olives, red wine vinegar, mustard, garlic, salt, and pepper in a blender and blend until mixed. In a small pitcher combine the olive oil and vegetable oil. Drizzle the oil into the blender with the machine running. Transfer the vinaigrette to a serving dish. Stir in the parsley and serve with the rib-eye. — Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis (for the recipe go to foodnetwork-everday-italian.com )

At first I wasn’t sure I would like the Black Olive Vinaigrette because I am not a huge fan of black olives, although I don’t mind a few in my salad or on my pizza, I am not one to just pick them out and eat them. So I didn’t add as many olives as she required, just a few less, not much a difference and instead of 6 tablespoons of vegetable oil (btw vegetable oil is very similar to canola oil) I only added 5, but boy was it good. I just wanted more on top of my Medium Rare steak which by the way also came out DELISH! The Rib-Eye is simple to make and depending how you like it cooked that’s the only thing time consuming. If you like it like my boyfriend and I do, Medium Rare, then the dish only takes about 6-8 minutes on each side, depending on how thick you bought your Rib-Eye.

My Side Dish – Roasted Tomatoes with Garlic, Gorgonzola and Herbs:

Ingredients

* 12 Roma tomatoes, sliced in 1/2 lengthwise
* 1/4 cup olive oil
* 2 cloves garlic, minced
* 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
* 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
* 3/4 cup plain bread crumbs
* 3/4 cup finely crumbled Gorgonzola or grated Parmesan cheese
* 2 tablespoons chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

Directions

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Using a teaspoon or grapefruit spoon, remove the seeds from the tomatoes. Place the tomato halves, cut side down, on paper towels to drain, about 5 minutes.

In a large bowl, mix together 2 tablespoons of the olive oil, garlic, salt, and pepper. Using clean hands, gently toss the drained tomato halves in the oil mixture until coated. Marinate the tomatoes for 10 minutes.

In a small bowl mix together the bread crumbs and Gorgonzola cheese.

Place the marinated tomato halves, cut side up, on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet. Fill each tomato half with the bread crumb filling. Drizzle with the remaining olive oil. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes until slightly softened and the underside of the tomatoes are brown.

Arrange the cooked tomatoes on a serving platter. Sprinkle with the chopped parsley and serve immediately. –Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis (For recipe click on link Foodnetwork.com-everyday-italian )

Okay so my only problem was finding the Roma Tomatoes, also if you are only cooking for 4 people, 12 is way too many, 5 tomatoes are plenty. So I followed the directions and I used Gorgonzola NOT Parmesan as my cheese. It’s your choice but if you have never tried Gorgonzola I say try it, but make sure to get one that is not too strong if you don’t like a strong cheese, and if you do, go for it. But we opted for the creamer Gorgonzola. So because I used less tomatoes don’t use as many bread crumbs in your recipe. This plate came out good, but my boyfriend and I weren’t too in love with the bread crumbs, however the idea inspired me and next time I might use the garlic to season the tomatoes and the Gorgonzola cheese for the filling but I might add a few different items and leave out the bread crumbs. However, all in all the dishes came out DELISH!

I love trying new recipes and next Saturday I’ll probably try another.

xo,
kristin nicole

Struggling mind

My mind struggles to think
I can feel every aspect in my mind trying to focus
but every time I close my eyes and try to think of nothing
I can’t!
It’s in constant motion,
constant thinking
negative thoughts, positive thoughts
but mostly just thoughts.

How can you get your mind to relax, to just not think of anything at all. Fully focus on nothing and let your body just relax.

Some say sleep is a form of relaxation.
Many people don’t remember their dreams, but I dream almost every night.
Mostly nonsense stuff that doesn’t even make sense.
When I wake up I feel exhausted sometimes, feeling like that dream had me running for miles.

My mind has control of me, my thoughts, my dreams my desires. How do you make it stop just for one second?
Just stop for one second so that I can breath with out feeling the pressure in my head.
Stop for one second so I can think straight.
When I read, I’m thinking
When I lie there, I’m thinking
When I dream, I’m thinking
It never just stops, it never just lets me relax, it never just lets me BE ME!

It’s like a fish in a bowl, swimming in circles for hours, for days until he takes his last breath. I sometimes feel like that, a routine, work, school, play, work, school, play. It never just stops, I never stop.

xo,
kristin nicole

© –written by: kristin nicole — January 22, 2010 @ 10:15 am– Inspired by a dream, stuck in a dream–

Healthy Vegi Sandwich

The Shopping List for Vegi Sandwich:

4 slices of Sourdough bread
1 red bell pepper
vegetable oil
olive oil
2 big portobello
1 eggplant
4 basil leaves
fresh mozzarella
White Onion cut 1/4
1 tbsp of unsalted butter
1 tsp paprika
Salt
Pepper

The Shopping List for Garlic Mayo:

1/4 cup Low fat Mayonaise
Half a lemon
1 1/2 tsp Garlic powder
Dash of Salt & Pepper

How to make it:

Pre-Heat the Oven on Broil at 350 degrees f.

Take the Red pepper and with a pastry brush, brush vegetable oil all over the red pepper, make sure that the creases are also covered in the vegetable oil. Place the red pepper on the top rack of the oven on a backing sheet, 5-8 minutes on each side. When you see that the red pepper is turning a little black on top grab a pair of tongs and flip the red pepper on the other side for another 5-8 minutes or until it starts turning black. Once the pepper is ready place it in a bowl and cover it with saran wrap (plastic wrap) for 15-20 minutes.

While the pepper is cooling off in its bowl, take the white onion and cut it in 1/4 cut. Rough chop it, you want big pieces of the onion to put into your sandwich. Take a non-stick pan and place the butter and onions on medium-low heat, season with a little salt and pepper and add paprika. Leave cooking until you see the onions soften, then place covered and leave on warm stove. While the onions are cooking, begin to heat up an indoor grill, while the grill starts warming up take the eggplant and cut off the skin. Cut both ends off so that the eggplant stands up, then cut about 1/2 inch each straight down. Cut 3 pieces and wrap and refrigerate the remainder of the eggplant for dinner tomorrow or another day. Once you cut the eggplant dribble a little bit of olive oil on top of each piece and season with salt and pepper. Place the eggplant on the grill about 5-6 minutes on each side or until you start seeing the grill marks. Take the portobello and rub with a little bit of olive oil, season with salt and pepper on both sides. Once you have room for the portobellos place them on the grill about 7-8 minutes on each side or until the portobello begins to soften.

While that is cooking you can now take the red pepper out of the bowl. It will be soft so you can just pull the stem right off, cut the red pepper in half and scrap out all the seeds. The skin of the pepper will peal right off. (You now have a roasted red pepper, remember you can always buy them in a jar, but I think this way is so much better).

How to make the Garlic Mayo:

While the vegis are grilling you can make the mayo. Take 1/4 cup of Mayo, mix with half a lemon wedge and add a dash of salt and pepper and 1 1/2 tsp of garlic powder. Stir good and refrigerate until ready.

Finish the sandwich:

First cut 4 good slices of the mozzarella cheese and have the basil leaves ready for the sandwich and cut the portobello in half so that you have 4 slices. Once all the vegi’s are cooked, sprinkle a little bit of olive oil on both sides of the bread, place two slices of the bread on the grill, while one side is cooking grab your garlic mayo, once one side of the bread has a few grill marks flip over. Take a butter knife and spread some of the garlic mayo on both slices, place 1/2 of the roasted red pepper on one side with 1 1/2 slices of the eggplant on top, on the other bread place 2 basil leaves, 2 slices of the mozzarella cheese and 2 pieces of the portobello that were cut in half and place both slices side to side, take some of your onions and put on top of the eggplants. Take the sandwich off the grill, cut in half and serve. Do the same with the other sandwich. Bon appetit =)

My thoughts:

Well of course I’m going to say it’s good, I made it, but in all honesty, I have to admit, it really was just simply Delish! My boyfriend loved it, not only is it healthy, it’s delish. The sweet pepper, with the eggplant and portobello, and onions ohhh and that garlic mayo it’s all just so good. The mozzarella cheese just melts in your mouth and you get that little kick from the basil leaves. You have to try this recipe. If you do let me know how it comes out.

Hope you enjoy!

xo,
kristin nicole