Tag Archives: cheating

I cheated with my best friend

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Lost and Confused – Image found on google.com/images

Question:

Dear Kristin Nicole,

I have been with my boyfriend for five years, and recently cheated on him with my best friend. If you are wondering, my best friend is a girl. I have always loved the way women looked, but never tried being with a woman, and my best friend has always told me how beautiful I am and has always been there for me. I feel guilty sleeping with her, but at the same time I don’t know if to leave my boyfriend or tell my best friend that we can’t hook up anymore. Please help.

~Confused

My Response:

Dear Confused,

If you are feeling confused maybe it’s best to stop hooking up with your boyfriend and best friend and try to evaluate what it is you are feeling. On top of cheating with your boyfriend, you cheated with a woman. Have you always had feelings for women? If you have then maybe you have been trying to lie to yourself about the way you truly feel. First find out what it is you are truly searching for and go from there. It isn’t good to lie to your boyfriend but figure things out before you hurt more people. Good luck

xo,
kristin nicole

I’m cheating on my husband and almost got pregnant

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Cheating.... image by: google.com/images

The Question:

Dear Kristin Nicole;

I have read your blog and I have to tell you that I admire what you do and I love the advices you give, so I have brought to you my situation…

I have to mention that I am 20, married, part-time worker and college student. My husband (20 yrs old)  works full-time at night, so we only see each other like 2 hrs a day, since he sleeps all afternoon long. I have gotten in a situation I hate to be in… An old crush (20 yrs old)  appeared a couple of months ago, we decided to hang out one day. We went to the mall and walked around and just talked about life and what we’ve done all that time in which we didnt see each other. As the day went by I felt this amazing chemistry we had, like if we knew eachother from a long time. As the week went by we texted each other and decided to meet again ( I know this was a big mistake). We went to the zoo and after we were out of the zoo, we walked towards a little park that’s infront of the Zoo. We sat down on the grass and talked for a while, as we were talking, we ended up kissing…  Since that day things have gotten more serious, we’ve met many times and had intercourse… My husband and I do not have time for each other, all he wants to do is sleep when he gets home since he is tired and I understand that. When he wakes up, its time for me to go to work and when I get off work, its time for him to go to work… My Ex-crush makes me feel like I havent felt in a long time.. last month, my Ex-crush and I thought I was preagnant, and he was very happy and willing to support me? Even though the child was not going to be raised by him. We found out I was not preagnant which was a big relief for me. I am starting to feel more than just attraction for him… I do not want to fall in love and I feel that is too late to stop what I have started… But really I can not picture my life without my husband. Even though we’ve only been married for 3 yrs, we’ve built alot of things together, credit, car, house, friends and etc., and i feel that nothing is really worth leaving my husband.  I have a life with my husband, i do not want to divorce him, no one in my family has ever gotten one. I dont want to keep cheating on him, I have no idea what to do, maybe your answer will be to stop seeing my lover but really thats really hard since we are very good friends and he makes me happy, and I am  now  starting to have feelings for him. My lover mentioned that having a baby with me would be the best thing that could happen to him, and that confused me a lot. He says that we should try to have one, but I dont think it is right. What would be your advice?

~Too Young

My Response:

Dear Too Young;

I want to first start off by saying; Thank you so much for following my site. I hope that I can help you with what I am going to say.
I am not going to say that it is impossible to love two people at once, because it is possible, but you cannot be with two people at once, living a lie and trying to keep them both at arms reach. No one can tell you what choice to make, not even me. You have to truly see who you are truly in love with and be with that person. If you truly love your husband, you would not want to be with another man. I understand that it’s hard because of your time schedules to spend time together, but you need to communicate to your husband, and you need to try and make time for each other, or the relationship is not going to work. If you really want to make things work with your husband you need to end things with your friend. Do not take into consideration that no one in your family has ever gotten a divorce, if you aren’t in love with your husband it is better to move your separate ways now, then later down the road when you have children. It’s hard when you have a life built with someone you care for, but do you think it is okay to stay with someone just because you built credit, a house and a life with them? Life and marriage are so much more than that, and you will learn that one day. You are still young and you married young and there are many things in life you still have to experience. Do not stop yourself from doing what you want for you, because of what family or others might say. If you feel you really want to be with this other man, then you need to be honest with your husband and let him go. The fact that this man wants to have a baby with you, shows that he really cares for you, in his own way. I do not think that he will be okay with another man raising your child, I think he wants you to get pregnant because he believes this will give you the excuse to leave your husband. You are young and in my opinion, I would make sure to use birth control methods. You need to figure out what you want before bringing a child into this world. You also do not want to lie to your child about who their real father is, that is wrong on all levels. It isn’t fair to hold onto both men, when in the end you are only hurting yourself. No one can tell you which man to choose, you need to make that choice on your own. I think deep down you know the choice you want to make, I think you are just scared to make it. Life is too short to not make the choices in life that will make you happy. If you are grown up enough to get married, grown up enough to cheat, you are grown up enough to make a decision.
Good luck.
xo,
kristin nicole

 

Should I cheat with my boyfriends best friend?

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Flirting. image by: google.com/images

The Question:

Dear Kristin Nicole;

I am thinking about cheating on my boyfriend with his best friend. We have been flirting recently and hung out the other day alone, we didn’t do anything but we came close to kissing. Should I see where it goes or leave it alone?

My Response:

Dear Flirt;

It is never a good idea to hook up with anyone while in a relationship, that’s one. Second, hooking up with your boyfriends best friend is probably one of the worst things a girl can do. Not only are you messing with your relationship but that’s your boyfriends friend. At this point, I can say that the best friend is not being a good friend to begin with if he’s hanging out with his best friend’s girlfriend alone and flirting. This is just temptation you don’t need. At the end of the day, the best friend gets what he wants, which is you, and at the end of the day the friendship will probably survive, and you will be the only one left alone. Don’t ruin your relationship, if you aren’t happy then break up with your boyfriend, but I repeat ‘DON’T HOOK UP WITH HIS BEST FRIEND’.

xo,
kristin nicole

Cheating & Pregnant

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Cheating ... image by: google.com/images

The Question:

Dear Kristin Nicole;

I’m so desperate for help, and I really don’t know what’s the best way to go about all of this. I’ve been married with my husband for more than 12 years and I’m 34 right now. My relationship with my husband was kind of complicated but it’s getting better and more understanding. However, our sexual relationship has been questionable always, and there was a huge gap between us. Anyhow, short story, in some point of our life I felt that I really hated him, but I never had the strength to divorce him, so I continued living with him, and in the meantime I fell in love with someone else who is still with me. It’s been almost more than a year. We love each other so much, my husband loves me so much too, and now we don’t have any problem like before, and I don’t want to leave him because he’s going to be broken, and I don’t want to divorce him. My boyfriend is married too, and has a very bad relationship with his wife, and he has a daughter. He asked me several time to marry him, but I can’t leave my husband.
Now I’m pregnant with my boyfriend about 3 weeks. I’m sure that it is his baby because I haven’t had any intercourse with my husband for over 2 months. My boyfriend is so excited about the baby and so am I, but I’m so scared about the whole process and I feel guilty that if I decide to keep this baby I have to lie to everyone for my entire life.
Please help me to clear my mind. I know that I’m guilty in the first place and I shouldn’t cheat on my husband, but I really need your help.
My boyfriend doesn’t believe in abortion and he says that the baby is part of our love, and I need to think by my heart. I love to have this baby as well, but when I think of consequences I’m getting more convince that I have to have an abortion.
I can’t lie to everyone. The baby, my husband my family and his family.
Please help me

~Cheating & Pregnant
(Revised: KN)

My Response:

Dear Cheating & Pregnant;

You already know that what you are doing is wrong, and the fact that your ‘boyfriend’ also has a wife is another issue. I understand that you had a complicated marriage, but when you felt that you weren’t happy, you should have left your husband then. It’s been a year that you have been having this other relationship, and your ‘boyfriend’ is still married as well. You need to make a decision, you cannot keep having this double life, it will eventually tear you apart. I can tell you are already struggling with making a decision on what to do now that you are pregnant with your boyfriends child. Your boyfriend probably won’t leave his wife as much as you do not want to leave your husband. If you truly were in love with your husband you wouldn’t be cheating and lying to him. You cannot try to pass this baby off has your husbands child and I’m sure your boyfriend won’t allow that. You will have to face the music and be honest with your husband. I am not going to try and sugar coat this, it is most likely your husband will leave you once he finds out the truth. The truth always comes out, and it is best to be honest with him now then for him to find out about the baby. If you chose to abort the child, that is completely up to you, however, you are in this situation out of free will. You need to really think about what it is you are going to do. Either choice won’t be easy and in the end someone will get hurt, but living a lie and continuing to cheat on your husband is not healthy.

Be honest with yourself, and with both men and decide to be with one or the other.

xo
kristin nicole

My boyfriend cheated on me, should I stay?

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Stay or Go - Picture by: Google.com/images

The Question:

Dear kristin nicole;

My boyfriend cheated on me and I don’t know if to stay with him or leave him. He say’s he is sorry and it will never happen again, but I don’t know if to trust him anymore.

My Response:

Dear cheated on;

You shouldn’t stay in a relationship where the man does not respect you. A person who cheats on another person does not respect them or care enough to stop what they are doing before doing it. At the end of the day you have to ask yourself, if he is worth sticking around with, or if there is someone else out there who won’t hurt you the way he just did? Be strong, and remember that there is always better, and no person should have to be in a relationship where there is no trust. Trust is key to any relationship.

xo,
kristin nicole

I’m pregnant and my husband doesn’t come home…

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The Question:

Dear kristin nicole;

I have read some on the stories and comments you gave to other women, and I’m in the same kind of boat and I don’t know what to believe or do. So here is my story please help.

Me and my husband have been married for 9 months, still newlyweds but have lots of problems. We or I should say I did rush into due to a baby on the way and I loved him and he loved me. So we got married. It was great we were happy. He has a kid from a previous relationship and I do to, but he was great with my daughter, I mean great. That’s her daddy, and especially since her father is out of the picture. We lost the baby I was pregnant with 2 weeks after the wedding. We were both sad. We both want a baby and have been trying since then, but we argue all the time. He says he has no say so in anything the house, my daughter nothing. I just disagree on something and he doesn’t understand. The arguing has got bad over little things. So much that his son doesn’t want to come here anymore. We are both tired of it, he’s even said he wanted a divorce. So to my big problem I found out in November we where pregnant I was so excited because we had been trying and praying, but he didn’t seem too happy. We started arguing about baby names he started saying he had no say in this either, that I’m always downing him and acting different with his son, which is not true. I speak my opinion and I disagree. I do agree I am different with his son and my daughter and I’m sorry for that. For the last past two weeks its been hell fighting all the time. He was getting laid off from his job and I tried talking to him, it wasn’t good enough. He said I act as if I could care less, but I tried talk to him so two weeks ago after a fight about me not caring he left for work and hasn’t come back. His story is he has a new job and there working out of town, he will be home this day. When they day comes its something else his car broke he cant make it. I’ve accused him of cheating being with someone else and he said he’s not with anyone else that he is just working and that he is tired of me accusing him all the time. When I try to talk to him about what I feel and I love him, he avoids my questions or when I ask when are you coming home he gives me a day and it never happens. He wasn’t even here for Christmas and that made me really mad and I went off on him and told him to just come get his stuff I wanted a divorce because I cant take his lying and him not begin here especially with me three months pregnant with his baby, it hurt bad and I don’t know what to. I love him and I want us to be a family, my daughter loves him and miss I him. I don’t believe he’s working out of town. He said he was working today but he always has his son and he told me he was taking him to work with him. That’s BS because you don’t take a 5 year old to your so called new job especially when you say you are building apts. He came home Thursday wanting sex and got some more clothes said he would be back Saturday and like always he came up with an excuse. I do not know what to do. I need help… why would he just walk away after knocking me up and after me telling him we can work on this, that we have a baby on the way and that I don’t want to go down this road. He accuses me of sleeping with people but I love him to much to do that. Bills are behind because of his actions and I just need some advice. Please I don’t want to lose him.

~Desperate

My Response:

Dear Desperate;

Sometimes men get scared, and having a child together is a big deal. He may be feeling confused since you have been arguing lately. Try sitting down with him and talking to him. Explain to him how you feel, that you love him and you don’t want to be arguing all the time. You want to make sure he is happy in your marriage. You can try telling him how you feel but if he’s not willing to try, there is nothing you can do. The fact that you are suspicious of him cheating on you and that he doesn’t show up sometimes is not a good sign. You need to try and think of you and your baby at this point, is this type of relationship you want to show your child? Is the type of man you truly want for yourself? I know it’s not easy and you are definitely in a hard position but you have to think about your unborn child now. The most important thing to do is to take care of yourself. If you have family you can stay with, try getting your bills paid and try making a life for you and your child. It sounds to me like you can do better then this guy…. If he was a real man he would stand up and try to make things work with you. If he truly loves you he will at least TRY to make it work.

I hope I could help. I hope your New Year gets better in time.

xo,
kristin nicole

My husband wants me to try Swinging…

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The Question:

Dear kristin nicole

My husband asked me the other day if I was willing to go to a swingers club with him. I don’t know what to think of this. We have been married for only 2 years, is he bored of me already that he wants to sleep with other people? I asked him why he would want to go to a swingers club and he said he just wanted to spice things up for us. I thought we had pretty good sex, so I am not sure what I can do. I don’t feel comfortable sleeping with other people or my husband sleeping with other people, but I’m scared that if I don’t go he will cheat on me and leave me. Do I go so that I don’t lose him? Or do I tell him no, and hope he doesn’t leave me.
~Swinger

My Response:

Dear Swinger;

If you want my personal opinion then I would say NO…. I don’t think that in a marriage people should sleep with other people. If you are married, you should be committed and happy to be with just that one person. How long have you known your husband? Has he always been a little freaky? If this is something new all of a sudden then you need to really sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel. If he is willing to end your marriage just because you don’t believe swinging is the answer to better sex, then maybe you need to truly think about what kind of man you married. Do you want to be with a man that wants to sleep with other woman, and that is willing for his wife to sleep with other men? Tell your husband that you are willing to try other things in the bedroom and spice it up in other ways, but if you don’t feel comfortable going to a swingers club then you need to speak up. Giving in and going just because your husband wants to might end up badly in the end either way, you may end up resenting him for making you go. Go with how you feel and talk to your husband, if he loves you I am sure he will be okay with whatever decision you make.

xo,
kristin nicole

I don’t like it when my GF sleeps with her husband…

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The Question:

How can I gently tell my Girlfriend that I don’t like it when she sleeps with her husband? She did it twice last week and I’m beginning to feel like she’s just using me. HELP
~Feeling Used

My Response:

Dear Feeling Used;

Let’s start off with what is wrong with this question….. “I don’t like it when she sleeps with her HUSBAND”….. HUSBAND….. Husband and did I mention HUSBAND? She is married, of course she is going to sleep with her husband, she is having an affair with you and she hasn’t left her husband yet, that should be a clear sign to get out. Well the first sign was the fact that she was MARRIED. The second sign is that she hasn’t left him for you and she is still sleeping with him. Find a woman that isn’t married, a woman that you can be with without hiding it from people, and a woman that will want to be with you and only you. Good luck

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

Having an affair with a married man?

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The Question:

I’m a 17 year old girl, who recently started talking to a 23 year old guy from across the country. He told me straight up that he has two baby boys, which didn’t bother me because we weren’t anything serious. Well we texted all the time, and talked on the phone, but when he oddly kept refusing to add me on Facebook I demanded to know why. He admitted to being in a loveless, miserable marriage. They’ve been married 4 years, and he’s slept with a few other women. He suspects her of cheating on him while he was stationed in Korea, and doesn’t think that his oldest son is really his. I’m a very understanding person and continued talking to him despite his personal life. But now it’s at the point where he says he has too big of a heart to leave his wife and kids, and idk what to do. I like him, but knowing he sits out in his car every night after work to call me while his wife is inside sleeping… Idk. It’s too much. He’s an amazing guy, and though I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along. It just kills me, because I know how unhappy and utterly miserable he is with her. What should I do? :/
~17

My Response:

Dear 17;

I think you already know the answer to your question and you just need for someone else to confirm what you have already been thinking and feeling. You state: “and though I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along.” Do you need any other answer besides that one? The guy can’t be too good of a guy if he’s cheating on his wife constantly and lying to her. He doesn’t live close to you and all you have is a phone relationship, you are much too young to be worrying about a guy with these many problems, you need to be having fun, dating guys more your age and enjoying your life, not worrying about a guy who is cheating on his wife, his family with other women and sneaking off at night to talk to you. Close the door to this relationship and move on.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

Jump into the Jacuzzi with Ex or Current BF?

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I was scanning the web when I bumped into this article “Ask Kitty” the Title “Kitty Jumps into the Jacuzzi”.

The women wrote as follows:

“My company has a Jacuzzi on the 15th floor of our office building and I’m dying to try it out. There is a special guy in my life, but I’m thinking water sports should involve someone I can get wild and crazy with, i.e., my biker ex-boyfriend. Prior to our breakup, I promised him a romp in the tub, but we never got around to it. Would it be super-scandalous if I took him up there instead of my bf? And do we need to use a rubber? My bff told me the hot water will kill the sperm. A baby would be a clear indication I’ve cheated.” (you can find the link below, if you want to see Kitty’s response). ~Juana Getwhet

My Response:

Dear Juana,

First I would like to acknowledge the fact that you stated you had a best friend who told you hot water will kill sperm. First tell your friend to take some classes on “how to get pregnant”. YES, You can get pregnant in water, jacuzzi, pool with chlorine, any type of water anywhere that you aren’t using protection you can get pregnant. (Water will also not stop any transmitted diseases). I advise you get on a birth control pill because using a condom in the water can easily break. (Remember birth control pills also won’t help with transmitted diseases). BTW…(Sorry if I’m too blunt, but I don’t want you to make a mistake that you’ll later regret). As you indicated “A baby would be a clear indication that you cheated”. Along with many other responsibilities you’ll have to deal with later. Now back to the rump in the jacuzzi with someone who is “wild & crazy”. Have you even tried talking to your current man about getting wild & crazy in the jacuzzi on the 15th floor? How do you know he won’t be up for it? I guarantee any man wouldn’t pass an invitation like that up. If by chance he does turn you down, maybe you should re-think him being your man. My only other concern is the fact that just because your ex and you had discussed doing something like this, why would you even give him that chance to do that with you now that he is your EX? Perhaps you aren’t quiet over you ex? Issues we wold have to discuss another time.

In Conclusion:

Talk to your new man and have that wild & crazy night in the jacuzzi with him, not your Ex. And remember to always use protection.

XO,
Kristin Nicole

If you want to read what Kitty’s response was you can link Here.