RIP Ivan Rodriguez, Jr.

Sometimes in life the unexpected hits close to home. Sometimes we think we are invisible, that we will live forever, that tomorrow can wait another day, but sometimes that isn’t the case. There comes a time in some people’s lives where they need to mourn those they have lost, they have to try and understand the reasons behind something so unimaginable, try to cope and live each day with this weight on their shoulders. Life is given to us but it doesn’t come with a rule book, or a guide book on how to live it, it doesn’t tell us how to cope with the struggles and losses we have endured. We live each day as if tomorrow will come, but the truth is, it does not matter how old we are, whether it’s a few hours old or 90 years old, tomorrow isn’t always promised.

Just this past weekend a good friend lost his step-brother in a car accident. When we think we are invisible at a young age we sometimes do crazy things, and this night was one of those nights. A family of four was caught in this accident, and a father and 15 year old son passed away, and the mother and 12 year old son are in critical condition. The driver who was racing is in critical condition as well, but my friends step-brother Ivan wasn’t so lucky, he too passed at the age of 20. We don’t think about the consequences or what or who we can hurt with the decisions we make in life, and we don’t understand why things happen the way they do, but we wake up each day knowing that the decisions we make in life do in fact impact others, whether they are close to you or just mere strangers walking by.

This tragedy has opened eyes to many, and although we cannot understand why it happened, we will pray and hope that one day the families that have lost those they loved can move forward with their lives. We hope that the pain of losing those we loved won’t hurt as much one day. We pray and we hope that one day we can understand the reasons behind why things have to happen.

Rest In Peace Ivan Rodriguez, Jr.

xo
kristin nicole

Starting my Masters Program

I'm a Writer - image by: google.com/images

So yesterday was my first day of my Masters Program, the beginning of my unknown future. I was excited, and stressed all at the same time. You have to understand, I overwhelm myself when I see so much information at once, sometimes I even jump the gun and email the professor questions that are right in front of me, but I don’t see them at the moment because I’m freaking out that I don’t understand what I need to do, or I’m missing something. Okay so I’m a bit dramatic, but I have to make sure I understand and get it done the right the first time. It is so important for me to succeed and move forward.

It’s been a long time that I felt I was doing something I truly love. I decided to get my Masters in Journalism so that I can hopefully get my foot in the door somewhere. I want to be able to write and edit. I love to write, and I can’t believe it took me this long to figure it out, but better late than ever.

The program I am taking is a year long, it’s accelerated and fast but in a year I’ll be done with my degree. I feel like I have been in school forever, trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up, I think I have finally figured it out.

xo,

kristin nicole

Is it Boot season yet in Miami?

These boots are made for walking... image by: google.com/images

Hello, yes we are in September and yes we are still 90+ degree weather, that’s Miami for you. So can we take out the boots yet? According to Refinery29 we can. Yes I am excited and yes I LOVE my boots. If you click on the link above you can check out the different choices they picked for boots in Miami.

Although I love Miami, sometimes our “Fall” fashion is non existent due to our weather. I don’t care what others think, bring out the boots and bring out the scarfs…. I’m ready for my Fall clothing.

xo,
kristin nicole

RIP Luis Ceballos – An Angel was taken

RIP Luis

In life we don’t know how we will die, or when we will die, but for others we are prepared and given no choice but to be taken from our family. Cancer is something not many people plan for, it isn’t something we can every truly understand, and no matter how hard we fight, sometimes Cancer defeats us, and with that God has taken a man that has touched so many. I only met Luis about two times, and in those two times you can tell he was an incredible man. This man meant so much to so many people. He walked into the life of my friends mom, she finally found the love her life and it saddens me to know she has lost him to the battle of cancer.

A man who touched so many lives was lost yesterday, he has left behind a wife, and children and step children, grandchildren, family and friends. Luis had a journal in which he wrote how he felt, his last entry was on Father’s Day of 2012. You can see his journal entries here: http://lceballos61.livejournal.com/. If you truly want to meet a strong man, I recommend you read his journal. He is an inspiration to us all.

Whenever you feel like your life isn’t going the way you expected, stop and be grateful for what you do have in your life. Luis taught us to stop and smell the flowers no matter how hard life hits you. He taught many never to give up and to live life to the fullest. I only hope that his family can take on his strength and that they will one day feel peace in their hearts. Today we mourn a man who was strong, a man who thought more about his own family than any other man I have ever met, and today I give thanks for knowing him, even if it was only for a short time. I give thanks to god for letting his wife and my friends have them in their lives and to love such a wonderful man. I am sorry they had to lose him to cancer and I will pray that they will get through this hard time.

I love you all and my prayers are with you. Today God took not only an incredible man, but an angel. Rest In Peace Luis, we will all miss you.

xo,

kristin nicole

You’re NOT the one (Her thoughts)

This is an old poem (Repost). Enjoy

PART 2 – You’re NOT the One (Her thoughts)……

You thought you stopped loving me?
You thought you didn’t care?
How could you be so selfish to just sit back and stare?
I looked into your eyes as my eyes filled up with tears,
You stood there standing watching me drown out my fears.

You pretended to be happy.
You put on an act,
You thought I couldn’t see the truth,
You had to face the facts.

You put up a wall; you pushed me to the floor
I did all I could do
I even gave you my door.
Then one day I woke up and realized this is it.
I didn’t want to be with you, my fate was sealed with out your kiss.

CHORUS:
Now you’re the one crying inside
You’re the one that can’t let go
You’re the one wishing for me to come back
Wishing once again I’d be at your door.

You pushed me way to far.
I walked right out the door.
I told you I loved you but I couldn’t take the pain no more.
I asked you if you loved me.
I gave you one last chance.
All you did was look at me, you failed my last request.

With silence in your eyes, you stood in disbelief.
You didn’t say a single word, you didn’t share a peep.
If you would have listened closely,
You can hear my every word,
You can hear the tears fall down
And my heart break in a million burns.

You didn’t think I’d leave you,
You thought I’d always be around
You thought you had me.
You stood your ground.

Well you thought wrong…
You let me walk away
You lost me that day.
Now you’re left with nothing to say.

CHORUS x 2

xo,
kristin nicole

© written by: kristin nicole

His thoughts (You’re the one)

(Re-post)

His thoughts (You’re the one) Part 1:

I thought I stopped loving you and I thought I didn’t care.
I pushed our love aside, as you looked into my eyes.
You cried for me and I let you down.
I don’t know how to fix this so I almost let you drown.

I pretended to be happy
But you knew the real me
You knew how to make me smile and I let you leave.

You were my everything and I let you down.
I let you walk away that day,
What the fuck was I thinking when I let you get away?
Why did I put up this wall?
Why did I let you go?

Chorus: I’m crying inside
I can’t break free
Sadness is killing me
Please come back to me.
I can’t let you go
You’re my everything.

I pushed you away until you stepped out the door.
You said you loved me but you couldn’t take the pain no more.
You asked me if I loved you
If we could make it work,
You said all there was to say
Then you walked away…

I stood in silence as you looked into my eyes
I couldn’t say a word, as tears rolled down your eyes…..
I saw I was breaking your heart.
But I stood in disbelief
Never thought you would really leave me!

I can’t lose you now
You’re all I ever had
I thought I’d never lose you but I was wrong to think I had
Because I still had you,
You were mine in every way
And when I let you walk away
I lost you that day!
Now I’m left with nothing to say….

CHORUS x 2

I can’t let you go
You’re my everything….

xo,
kristin nicole

© written by: kristin nicole

Next Post you can read Part II – Her side….

How can you break free from porn?

This is an older post (2010)


The Question:

I am just out of a very painful break up as of a couple of months ago and I am finding myself looking at porn more and more and it is just coming out from the pain I’m in and it makes me feel terrible. Anybody been in similar situations?

My Response:

Dear Addicted;

Your a young, healthy young guy, don’t feel bad about watching porn. If you feel you are addicted to it and having to watch it more then a couple times a day, then there might be a problem; find professional help (there is such a thing as porn addicts). If you just enjoy it every once in a while to be with yourself, then enjoy it and don’t feel so bad about it. It’s natural for men to like porn and get turned on by it, there is nothing wrong with this. If you feel you are just watching it to avoid getting out there again then stop; there is nothing like a real women vs. just watching porn. Stop feeling down, and get back out there, date a few women and stop feeling bad that your relationship didn’t work out. Relationships sometimes don’t work out and the only thing we can do is get back out there.

xo
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

You’re my kind of Perfect

Hello – Anyone out there reading my posts? Sadly no one entered a poem to be featured in today’s post, so I guess I will have to put one of my OLDER Poems…… I wrote this and tweaked it a little to sound a little better. If you are reading… Let me know what you think.

Random Thoughts…

Have you ever just realized that the person you are with isn’t perfect, but with all the flaws and all the differences you have you know deep down that this person is for you, that He or She is your kind of Perfect? I grew up and realized that no one is perfect, but that is what makes us all unique, and in the end there is always that one person who fits perfectly together with you. This was dedicated to my boyfriend…

You’re my kind of Perfect

When I found you I didn’t know you would be the one
When you found me we were just having fun
Then out of nowhere we fell in love.

I never thought you were perfect but to me you shine that light
When I’m in the dark you make everything alright.
When we kissed I felt the summer breeze.
When our eyes met I knew deep down that now I can finally breathe.

When I met you I was lost,
I didn’t think love really existed,
But I opened up my heart to you,
I let you see the me no one sees,
And when you looked at me I knew
I had to let you in my world,
Because without you, I just wouldn’t be me.

Through the years you’ve been my strength
My best friend through it all
And even though we aren’t perfect
You’re my kind of Perfect
You’re my kind of Love…

xo,
kristin nicole

© Written By: kristin nicole June 2, 2011 Edited: March 2,2012

Little Black Box

Little black box

When you left I put you in a box
wrapped you up and left you in the back of my head
Every now and then you pop up in my mind
leave me alone
it just isn’t our time

You left me so sudden
it all just went away
I didn’t have time to cry for you
so I walked away.

Everyone leaves one day
but it just wasn’t your time
that day in the hospital
a part of me died.
Every time someone left a part of me left too
it’s a wonder I’m still here
standing here
writing this to you.

With tears held back
I shiver in fear
because I don’t know who I’ll lose next
and drown out my tears

The world is so big
yet oh so small
why can’t you just leave when you leave
why do you linger in my dreams?

Letting go of pain
is the hardest thing I’ve had to do
Living in this world of mine
I do what I have to do

Today is another day
Today I continue to walk
Today I live my life
with you in that little black box.

© ~written by: kristin nicole – March 16, 2011

xo,
kristin nicole

Did you ever think of me?!?

Did You Ever Think Of ME?

Did you ever stop and think of me
Or did you just pretend I never existed?
Closed that door
made a lie about how you never loved me anymore
Left me standing there with my heart on my sleeve
wondering what I did wrong
Wondering how I can fix something that didn’t exist.

I wrote you a letter
you never wrote back
later i found out you held it in your sack.
Why didn’t you say anything to me
why did you hide who you were
don’t you know i would have loved you anyway

Standing there all alone
I cried
Wondering why you couldn’t love me
And with tears in my eyes I pulled out that paper and pen
started to write all the things you didn’t want to feel
But I told you the truth
and the truth always hurts
look in the mirror and see who you are
stop hiding
I’m right here.

No words can express the pain you caused me
I think that’s when I started shutting people out
I started to hide behind a wall
because behind the wall no one can see
all the pain you truly caused me.

I pulled out that paper and pen
started to write all the things you didn’t want to hear
But I told you the truth
and the truth always hurts
look in the mirror and see who you are
stop hiding
I’m right here.

Now it’s too late
you’re already gone
Why couldn’t you see the truth
that no matter who you were
I would always love you.
Why couldn’t you stop hiding?
I was right here…

© written by: kristin nicole – February 19, 2010 – Friday

~ This was written about someone that used to be in my life. They passed away without ever being able to talk things out. Life is too short, when you feel something let the person you love know because you never know when they’ll be gone. If I haven’t said it enough, I love you!~

xo,
kristin nicole