My wife wants to sleep with another woman

The Question:

Dear; kristin nicole

My wife told me that she has been having feelings for a co-worker of hers, at first I was conflicted because I thought she meant a guy but then she told me that it was another woman. I’m still conflicted with this, because we have known each other for 10 years and she has never gave off that she likes other woman. She told me that this other woman wants to sleep with her and she wouldn’t mind if I watched, but I don’t know what to think about this. Most men would love for their wives to sleep with another woman and be able to watch, but if she ends up wanting to sleep with other woman all the time? She says I can’t join them, I can only watch. Do I let her sleep with this other woman or not?
~Husband

My Response:

Dear Husband;

I think you are right, I think most men would be thrilled to watch their wife or girlfriend be with another woman, but I understand your concern in regards to her wanting to do this more than once. Talk to your wife and ask her what has brought this on? Is this just a one time thing to get out of her system, out of curiosity? You need to think about this and you need to really be sure that you will be okay with your wife sleeping with another woman. Perhaps your wife is in the closet and isn’t sure which side of the bed she really wants to sleep on. This is a tough decision and you need to truly be okay with what your wife is asking. Communicate with your wife, your concerns and make it clear that if you are okay with this, it can only happen once. Personally, I don’t think a man or woman should want to sleep with any other person, and I think this is something she should have gotten out of her system before you got married, but the fact that you have known her for so long and she has never done anything like this, makes it seem like she is either bored or has always been curious of the same sex. Talk to your wife and make the decision together.

xo,
kristin nicole

Having an affair with a married man?

The Question:

I’m a 17 year old girl, who recently started talking to a 23 year old guy from across the country. He told me straight up that he has two baby boys, which didn’t bother me because we weren’t anything serious. Well we texted all the time, and talked on the phone, but when he oddly kept refusing to add me on Facebook I demanded to know why. He admitted to being in a loveless, miserable marriage. They’ve been married 4 years, and he’s slept with a few other women. He suspects her of cheating on him while he was stationed in Korea, and doesn’t think that his oldest son is really his. I’m a very understanding person and continued talking to him despite his personal life. But now it’s at the point where he says he has too big of a heart to leave his wife and kids, and idk what to do. I like him, but knowing he sits out in his car every night after work to call me while his wife is inside sleeping… Idk. It’s too much. He’s an amazing guy, and though I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along. It just kills me, because I know how unhappy and utterly miserable he is with her. What should I do? :/
~17

My Response:

Dear 17;

I think you already know the answer to your question and you just need for someone else to confirm what you have already been thinking and feeling. You state: “and though I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along.” Do you need any other answer besides that one? The guy can’t be too good of a guy if he’s cheating on his wife constantly and lying to her. He doesn’t live close to you and all you have is a phone relationship, you are much too young to be worrying about a guy with these many problems, you need to be having fun, dating guys more your age and enjoying your life, not worrying about a guy who is cheating on his wife, his family with other women and sneaking off at night to talk to you. Close the door to this relationship and move on.

xo,
kristin nicole

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I have an outrageous fetish…

The Question:

I have a fetish that I am wondering if anybody else has heard of. I absolutely love a woman when she is dressed up in a dress or costume that has giant puffy sleeves. I’ve had this my whole life and don’t know where it came from. I fantasize that a woman or even better two women dressed up kidnap me and forcibly dress me up in the same kind of outfit. I’m bound and gagged while they forcibly rape me. Is there any women out there that would do this for there husbands. I don’t even need the fantasy part all the time I would just like it for my wife to dress up once in a while, prance around just to turn me on. I’ve been married for 20 years and she isn’t in to it at all. Am I really that weird? And I’m not gay I love women! Does anyone know of movies or websites that may have pics of such costumes?

The Response:

Dear Fetish;

A lot of people have fetishes, have you ever talked to your wife about the way you feel? You have been married for 20 years, and your sex life should be open by now. Maybe your wife feels weird dressing up for you, try having a few drinks to loosen up and then trying a few different things, warm her up to dressing up for you. As for going to websites to indulge in your fetish, I don’t think that’s a good idea, your wife might not understand or feel happy about that. Talk to your wife and see how far she is willing to go and start there. Unfortunately these are things you should have told your wife a long time ago, and if you did and you knew she would never live your fantasy out, then you knew up front she wasn’t into it and you had choices you could have made, now at this point in your life you have been married 20 years, so start off with spicing it up a little in the bedroom and trying to see if she’s willing to dress up a few times. Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

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My wife is cheating on me via web cam…

The Question:

Discovered My Wife has been on the web cam with some man over the past several months?
Over the last Year, My wife has been acting very strange. Her temper has been very erratic. She has been evasive with me. Pushing me away when I try to get her in the mood. I don’t know what’s gotten into her. I knew something was up with her. I knew that she had been talking to another man, I know this next part was wrong of me. But the other night she went out with her sister and some friends. I got on her laptop and guessed her password. On the first try I got the password correct! I was able to see her ” Voice Call History” And found out that since April 15th 2010, she has had about 30-40 Voice ” Web Cam” Sessions with some other man from Ohio! How do I go about confronting her with this? The Web Caming happened usually around 4-6AM, sometimes in the early afternoon. The last time she was on the web cam with him was over 4th of July while I was out at a company BBQ, I’m so upset that I feel like I’m going to punch a hole in the wall. I cannot read the actual emails back and forth because she has deleted them all.

How should I go about confronting her over this? I just don’t understand why she would be this stupid. I found photos of the guy she was doing it with and he’s some Young, Punk. Guy looks like he’s in his early 20′s. My wife has on her profile that she’s 28 years old when she’s actually 41. Imp just Furious!!! What should I do?

My Response:

Dear Web Cam;

Your wife can be going through a midlife crisis of some sort, or perhaps just is not happy in your marriage. This doesn’t excuse what your wife has done. I would confront her and talk to her. It’s not going to be easy and you have to be prepare yourself to hear things you might not want to hear. You are going to have choices, you can either talk with your wife and seek counseling to try and keep your marriage alive, or you can take some time off and think about staying in a marriage that has been full of lies. No person should have to go through what you are about to go through and what your wife is doing is inexcusable. I don’t think you really need someone to tell you what to do here, I think you already know what you need to do, but you might be a little scared to confront her. Having to hear the truth about what you have been suspecting is never easy, but you have to face the truth and move forward.

xo,
kristin nicole

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Is it kind of usual now for parents to cheat on each other?

The Question:

Is it kind of usual now for parents to cheat on each other?

My dad first cheated on my mum when I was around 10. From then he’s had about 3 affairs with different women, all who are after his money but he’s too blind and stubborn to see that. I just want to know if that’s kind of normal in families now.

My Response:

Dear Normal;

This is not normal and I’m sorry you have had to know and see what your dad does to your mom since the age of 10. No parent, man, women, or anyone should cheat on the other. It’s infidelity and betrayal in the worst possible way. If you love someone you don’t cheat on them. What your dad has done to your mom isn’t right, and if your mom has stuck it out with your dad, I’m sure she has her reasons, or she is just in denial and didn’t want to break up the marriage. Your mom could have also stayed with your dad thinking it was “best for the children”. Have you ever tried sitting down with your mom and telling her what you know? Have you ever tried confronting your father? Sometimes it isn’t good to get in the middle of your parents situations because I truly believe that their problems should stay between them, but the fact that you have know that your dad has been cheating on your mum for years now, is affecting you. At the end of the day you want to know if this is normal for a family? For a man to cheat on his family and wife? The answer to that is NO. Although many people today cheat on each other, it doesn’t make it right. Being faithful and loving someone with all you have is one of the biggest challenges in today’s life, and it’s sad that we have to even call that a challenge. It should come easy and if you have doubts believe me, there are still good people out there who don’t cheat on their partners.

xo,
kristin nicole

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How do I convince my husband?

The Question:

Well every time I want to do something nice for him example…give him a good massage after work, buy him a gift, do something that I know he will like he thinks that I have some hidden intentions or that I want something in return for the things I do. I tried numerous times to explain that I do it because I love him, I want him to be happy, that there is no hidden meaning / ulterior motives behind my actions but he is so doubtful!!
What can I do to remove those unfounded doubts which kills me! I wonder..who wouldn’t be happy to have a good head, foot or back massage after work?

My Response:

Dear Massage;

I have to agree with you on this one, I am not sure who wouldn’t want a massage after work, with that said have you tried having a serious conversation with your husband when it comes to him feeling this way? Try sitting with him and talking to him about how you feel and why you like to be attentive to him. Have you always been this way through out your relationship, or is this something you are all of a sudden doing? If it’s something new, it may explain why he feels you are being this way to get something out of it, if you have always been this way then he should know this is how you are and that there are no ulterior motives. If this is the case, then maybe there is something more behind him not wanting the attention. Have things changed recently in your relationship? Has he been acting weird in anyway besides not wanting attention? These are all things you should look into and ask yourself. If nothing has changed and this is your only worry, you have two choices. One – Talk to your husband and tell him that he makes you feel bad when you are trying to do something nice and he thinks that it’s only because you want something in return. Or Two – Don’t offer to do nice things anymore and see if he misses them afterward.
Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

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My girlfriend left me after 5 years…

The Question:

Dear Kristin Nicole;

My girlfriend of 5 years just picked up and left. I love her but I don’t understand her. She wants to get married and I am not ready for such a commitment. I do want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I don’t know that I want to marry her. My parents were divorced, there parents were divorced and I don’t see why you need to get married in order to start your life together. How do I get her back, how do I convince her that I love her but I don’t know if I’ll ever want to get married? Please Help…

~Don’t Want to Get Married

My Response:

Dear Don’t Want to Get Married;

I think your girlfriend has every right to leave you. You have been together for 5 years and you are telling her that you aren’t sure when you want to get married. Women want to grow and have a marriage and family and if you aren’t that guy then just let her go. Knowing that she wants to get married, you have a choice to make, either overcome your fear of marriage and get the girl you love and want to spend your life with back, or let her go and find someone who doesn’t want to get married. There are still women out there who don’t want to get married and living in a girlfriend/boyfriend status is fine with them, maybe this is the type of woman you need to look for. If you really love your girlfriend and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, then what is the big deal of not wanting to get married? Sure some marriages fail, but you won’t know until you try, besides just because your parents didn’t last doesn’t mean you won’t last with your girlfriend. Do what you feel in your heart, but don’t hold on to her if you know what she wants is marriage and a family and it isn’t something you want. If you can’t picture your life without her, then perhaps marriage isn’t as bad as you think it is….

xo,
kristin nicole

I had a baby with my wife’s sister…

The Question:

How do I win my ex-wife back after having a baby with her sister?
Before you judge me I would like to say that yes I was wrong. 4 years ago me and my wife were pregnant with twins, her sister came over to stay in Germany with us for 3 months because my ex-wife wanted her here. When my wife was pregnant she was cranky, tired and resisted sex and didn’t want me near her. She kept pushing me away. When her sister came about 2 weeks into her stay, by mistake we kissed, and when my wife went to work we ended up having sex a lot. We ended it but 4 weeks after we did she was pregnant with my baby too. I regret everything I’ve done because my ex-wife was so good to me. When I told her what happened she left me and returned home to her own country and I never got to meet my children which was very unfair. I waited and thought she would come back but when her nine months were up I knew she wasn’t going to return. With her sister I am seeing the child. My wife is back in Germany at the moment because her sister told me and I’ve also seen her and my twins and they have grown up so well and I can see she has brought them up well but I want to be in their lives. How do I ask her to let me at least say hi and that I’m their dad? is there anyway I could win her back? I really love this woman and we never arranged a divorce? What I did is a complete mistake but she never got a divorce. She cant hate me then if she hated me why not get a divorce?

My Response:

Dear Remorseful;

First of all – You kissed her by mistake? You don’t just accidentally fall and kiss someone and you don’t accidentally have sex with someone, let alone your wife’s sister…. Second… Yes; You made a huge mistake, the ultimate mistake. Not only did you cheat on her, you cheated on her with her sister and not only did you cheat on her with her sister you had a baby with her sister. If this woman took you back, I would say you were the luckiest man in the planet. I agree that although you made your mistakes that you should at least be allowed to see the babies. You need to first sit down with your wife and apologize for all that you have done, let her see that you are truly remorseful for what you have done to her and that although your relationship may never be the same you want to be a good father to your children. She probably hasn’t gotten a divorce for a few reasons, one she can’t afford it or two she just can’t bring herself to do it yet. Just because she left doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. You cheated on her while she was pregnant with her sister and got her sister pregnant too. I don’t know how she forgave her sister, because you were both wrong in what you did. Communication is all you have here, try and talk to her and at least be in your children’s lives, but don’t expect to get back with your wife. Do this for your children and your love for them. Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

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My husbands is upset over another woman

The Question:

My husband liked a girl before our wedding. She also liked him back but they could not pursue a relationship. He didn’t tell her that he was engaged at that time and now that he is married.

She recently told him she is getting engaged and he was upset afterwards and started to ignore her when she tried to talk to him afterwards purposely. He then had tears in his eyes why? He stares at her sometimes when she is around, what does this mean?

My Response:

Dear Wife;

You need to sit down with your husband and talk to him. If he married you, I hope it was because you loved each other. As for this other woman I am assuming he had some sort of feelings for her. Maybe they had a relationship before that you don’t know about, because I do not see why he would get teary eyed for a woman that he never dated. If they never dated and never were together then why is he so upset? I would definitely sit down and communicate with your husband to see what is going on. Communication is key to any relationship and you aren’t going to get answers just sitting back and assuming what is actually bothering him.

xo,
kristin nicole

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I had sex with my wife’s father…

The Question:

I had sex with my wife’s father. What should I do?

Okay so my wife and I were visiting her parents for Easter. We all had a lot to drink and by about 2 AM my wife and her mother had passed out on the couch. I talked to my father-in-law for another half an hour before suddenly he reached over and kissed me on the cheek. I returned it except this time I kissed him on the lips, and before I knew it we were downstairs in the guest bedroom having sex.

It was one of the strangest and yet most amazing experiences of my life. It was without question the best sex I ever had, but obviously it could prove to be problematic. My wife knew I was bisexual before we got married, but I think to her this would be crossing the line. I haven’t heard from her father since and my wife clearly knows absolutely nothing (we’ve since had sex twice).

I feel somewhat guilty, but I know if the opportunity presented itself again I would do it again. What the hell should I do? Should I tell my wife and ask her if I can carry on with her father in a purely sexual way—-not in a relationship? I love my wife and don’t want to lose her. I’m so confused. Please help. By the way we’ve been married 4 years and have no children.

My Response:

Dear Bisexual;

First – OMG – Is this for real?
Second – Of course your wife would be upset, not only are you betraying her trust by cheating on her, but with her father no less. This is not only wrong on all levels on your part but on her fathers part as well. If you decide to come clean do not expect her to be okay with you having a sexual relationship with her father and don’t expect her to want to stay with you at the same time. What person in their right minds would think this is okay? I think a person who is bisexual is still trying to find what they really want in the world, and I think that you are still confused. You need to decide what you want to do but under no circumstances should you do this again, not only are you hurting your wife but your mother in law who probably is in denial that her husband is gay. Own up to what you have done, do not let your wife live a lie with you and end up having children only to hurt them in the end. You have only been married for 4 years and although this will be hard on your wife it is a good thing that you do not have children yet, it will be a lot easier to get out of the marriage. If you truly loved your wife you wouldn’t have cheated on her, especially with her own father. Talk to your wife about how you have been feeling and if you decide to tell her the truth, good luck, because this is one case where you are going to need it.

xo,
kristin nicole

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